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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have confronted this Oman whenever her dog licked my daughter’s face?

122 replies

Goldenboots11 · 02/11/2017 22:19

Context is daughter is 2 and quite frightened of dogs.

We were at the park today and it was full of children as schools are off here (N Ireland) and it’s still half term.

I was walking to the entrance of the park with my 2 & 4 year olds.

Party of 3 came walking past with their 3 dogs. One of the dogs came over to us and straight away licked my daughter’s face from chin to forehead. I wasn’t worried about the dog biting, it didn’t look cross iykwim, but my daughter was really upset. The dog was the same height as her, so I can see why she was scared.

The owners of the dog stopped and laughed and them walked on. They didn’t seem even remotely embarrassed.

I stood for a moment and thought, hang on that’s not really on.

I went after the owner in question and told her it’s not really ok for a dog to go around licking children on the face. It’s unhygenic and if she couldn’t control her dog it should be on a lead.

The women (age 50/60 ish) made a oooooohhhhhh sound and looked at me as if IWBVVVU

So is it ok for dogs to lick children on the face? I genuinely think it’s gross. My mum who was with me said I should have just let it go.

I was not rude or aggressive in any way but I just wanted the woman to know.

AIBU?

OP posts:
PurpleMinionMummy · 03/11/2017 09:07

Fearing dogs is lame

My childs fear comes from an uncontrolled dog chasing her. The only thing that's lame is people blaming everyone else normally the parents when irresponsible dog owners with entitled attitudes are the cause of a lot of peoples fears to start with.

viques · 03/11/2017 09:08

50/60

And the woman's age is relevant how exactly ?

I do wish the casual ageist comments on MN were seen as offensive as racist or sexist comments .

Greyponcho · 03/11/2017 09:10

Viques
It’s not casual ageist, it’s context, I.e. old enough to know better

RaeCJ82 · 03/11/2017 09:12

YANBU at all.
I had a situation a couple of months ago with a dog that should have been on a lead. I live next to a park and I was putting my DD in the car in her car seat. She’s not exactly a little baby so it’s a two hand job to lift the seat onto the isofix base. Anyway, a dog ran from the park and across the road towards my car. The owner shouted “shut your door or she’ll get in.” I was gobsmacked. How about I’m trying to get my daughter in the car and you should have the dog on a lead. I then heard her muttering about me as she walked past. In hindsight I should have said something.

PurpleMinionMummy · 03/11/2017 09:13

If you don't intervene its wrong, if you do its wrong. You can't win if you dare to have a child who is scared of dogs Hmm.

missiondecision · 03/11/2017 09:13

Mentioning someone’s age is not ageist !
It gives context, so readers are aware that she was old enough know better.

cambodianfoxhound · 03/11/2017 09:14

My dogs are always on lead in public places, but i do despair at this knee jerk reaction that every single dog must be on lead at all times in all places. Its not realistic and at the end of the day, nothing terrible happened here. The dog didn't attack anyone.

MrsJayy · 03/11/2017 09:15

Or should have been mature enough to know better clearly not

hannahbanana4555 · 03/11/2017 09:16

YANBU.

I love dogs, but the owners reaction was VU. My DC has a condition that affects the immune system and catching a virus/bug can lead to serious consequences, a dog licking a childs face after licking god knows what could be extremely dangerous and even without additional needs I wouldn't like a unknown dog my height to approach and lick my face. At the very least the owner should have apologised.

MrsJayy · 03/11/2017 09:19

I don't think anybody is saying on leads all the time but keep a an eye on your dog so they don't slobber over 2 year olds who just happen to be toddiling along, she got an unwanted lick from a dog she didn't know no of course she wasn't physically hurt but nobody needs randomly dog licked.

GuntyMcGee · 03/11/2017 09:20

I'm a dog owner and I think that's pretty gross and poor behaviour of the dog owner.
To laugh and make fun of your dog licking a child's face is inappropriate, especially when the child doesn't know that dog!

One of my dogs likes to lick but even if off lead he wears a harness so that I can grab him to stop him approaching and doing just the thing he did to your child.

I'm not sure how I would have reacted if you'd followed me and 'confronted' me about it, but then, I'd have apologised and corrected the dog before it got to that point, which is what the dog owner should have done.

JassyRadlett · 03/11/2017 09:20

^Fearing dogs is lame and children should be encouraged not to go through
life with enexplicBle phobias that hold them back.^

And using dated disablist language is pathetic, so there we are.

As the parent of a child who was terrified of dogs (and not keen on most animals 1 tough for me as I grew up on a bloody farm) I can tell you that there are many, many ways to help children get over their fear. Dogs bounding up uninvited and unexpectedly and licking/jumping up/whatever ‘sweet’ behaviour their owners indulge is nowhere on that list. It just makes the problem worse.

Nikephorus · 03/11/2017 09:21

Honestly, I think you were being a bit precious and that your daughter would be better off with an example which encouraged her to laugh at harmless incidents like that rather than panicking and crying every time the world interacts with her in a harmless but unexpected way. Fearing dogs is lame and children should be encouraged not to go through
life with inexplicable phobias that hold them back.
I largely agree with this ^^ - better to make a joke about it to your daughter and say what a friendly dog it was so she gets into the mindset that dogs are (generally) good animals. Don't encourage phobias (but equally don't encourage her to run up to a dog she doesn't know to hug it!).
And if you want to make an issue of something with someone do it there and then, don't go after them. That automatically increases the tension & they're unlikely to take you seriously or respond well. A polite & friendly comment is more likely to make someone stop & think & change than an accusation would be.

Frillyhorseyknickers · 03/11/2017 09:25

The issue with idiots is that they don't see their behaviour as a problem. Having a blanket ban on off lead dogs would result in a nation of responsible dog owners following the rules, and irresponsible dog owners (like the one in the OP) would ignore them.

I don't understand why people think it is appropriate to buy large dogs which need a huge amount of exercise if all they have access to is a public park full of children.

cambodianfoxhound · 03/11/2017 09:27

MrsJayy - totally agree and I would be mortified if my dog did this and very apologetic (although my dog is terrified of children and always on lead around them). I think there needs to be tolerance and risk management on both sides. The amount of parents who also let their kids bound up to dogs and touch them uninvited is also worrying. I don't lose my rag and confront these parents, but calmly explain my dog is scared. Give and take not hysterical knee jerk reactions.

Mustang27 · 03/11/2017 09:38

I’ve owned dogs all my life and I would never in my life even with the softest dog in the world think this was ok. It’s ignorance of the highest form I’m so sorry. I hope your wee one is ok.

What a hideous woman if that was her reaction I’m not surprised the dog thinks that’s ok. 99% of dog owners would have been mortified and apologetic.

whatsthecomingoverthehill · 03/11/2017 09:42

You should have licked her face.

WickedGirl · 03/11/2017 09:45

That’s disgusting

I have a dog and he gets told off if he tries licking my dd (aged4)

I would be very apologetic if my dog licked someone in public

mydogisthebest · 03/11/2017 09:47

I would have been annoyed too.

I love my dogs but I don't let them lick me and I would die of embarrassment if they licked someone when out.

ToastyFingers · 03/11/2017 09:51

dd2 is allergic to dog saliva and comes out in hives almost instantly which are quite painful. She'd be gutted if a trip to the park turned into going straight home in pain.

vlooby · 03/11/2017 09:57

I used to really like dogs but I've grown more and more wary of them and irritated by certain owners.

Yanbu. It is not acceptable for a dog to do this. If you did confront, then fair play. This just shouldn't happen!

GrumpyMcGrumpFace · 03/11/2017 09:58

why is it being precious? Suppose a bloke had come up to you and licked your face from chin to forehead - you'd just laugh it off?

viques · 03/11/2017 10:02

old enough to know better Sorry , that is pathetic, are you saying that a woman aged 20/30 wouldn't realise that letting a dog lick a child is unacceptable ? Of course she would. By putting in the woman's age the OP is tagging into that unpleasant MN mindset that older women are to be despised and are fair game for sneering at .

It is exactly the same sort of mentality that fuels racism and sexism.

Mittens1969 · 03/11/2017 10:06

Definitely not ok, YANBU. I would have been very cross if someone’s pet dog had licked the face of one of my DDs, especially when they were the age of your DD. They used to be very afraid of dogs; we have cats in our house so they weren’t used to them. They’re fine with them now, so they probably wouldn’t really mind now.

In addition, it’s a dog owner’s responsibility to keep their dog under control and not allow it to lick the faces of children you don’t know. There are a lot of small children who are afraid of dogs. And there are people with allergies too.

WhatwouldAryado · 03/11/2017 10:06

The argument for having dog exercise parks is silly.
As the majority of the public NOT having dogs shouldn't have to fund someone elses lifestyle decision to keep an animal. Perhaps if there were sensible rules about dogs being on leads except in designated areas there would be yet another way for dog owners to splash their cash as so many treat their dogs as a status symbol.
Clearly dogs are not a good addition to a space where children are going to be playing etc as EVERY dog can get surpised.