Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have confronted this Oman whenever her dog licked my daughter’s face?

122 replies

Goldenboots11 · 02/11/2017 22:19

Context is daughter is 2 and quite frightened of dogs.

We were at the park today and it was full of children as schools are off here (N Ireland) and it’s still half term.

I was walking to the entrance of the park with my 2 & 4 year olds.

Party of 3 came walking past with their 3 dogs. One of the dogs came over to us and straight away licked my daughter’s face from chin to forehead. I wasn’t worried about the dog biting, it didn’t look cross iykwim, but my daughter was really upset. The dog was the same height as her, so I can see why she was scared.

The owners of the dog stopped and laughed and them walked on. They didn’t seem even remotely embarrassed.

I stood for a moment and thought, hang on that’s not really on.

I went after the owner in question and told her it’s not really ok for a dog to go around licking children on the face. It’s unhygenic and if she couldn’t control her dog it should be on a lead.

The women (age 50/60 ish) made a oooooohhhhhh sound and looked at me as if IWBVVVU

So is it ok for dogs to lick children on the face? I genuinely think it’s gross. My mum who was with me said I should have just let it go.

I was not rude or aggressive in any way but I just wanted the woman to know.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Goldenboots11 · 02/11/2017 23:31

Thanks, I’m glad that IWNBU in the majority opinion.

To the person who asked why didn’t I intervene. I’m trying to teach my children to be calm and not react when they see a dog. I don’t want to lift and fuss every time I see a dog. I always say to the children, don’t mind the dog and it won’t mind you. That is why I didn’t lift my daughter and I also thought the dog would just walk past us Confused

OP posts:
DancingDragon · 02/11/2017 23:33

Gross. Yanbu op.

washingmachinefastwash · 02/11/2017 23:38

I have 4 dogs. I would never allow this to happen. I see where they all lick one another.

You were right OP.

I’m not saying the dog should have been on the lead, but the owner should have had better control via commands.

hahahaIdontgetit · 02/11/2017 23:39

That’s horrid, I have 5 dogs and would have been mortified.

But it would be very unlikely to happen, all ours are always on leads (and do you know what, we walk them enough every day so it’s not an issue and they aren’t under-exercised).

Irresponsible dog owners are a nightmare.

Reflexella · 02/11/2017 23:39

No yanbu, that is gross.

Sister is a dog person & hound always goes on the lead when passing children

starzig · 02/11/2017 23:40

YANBU. Dogs are disgusting. Wouldnt let one near my DD never mind licking. Feel a bit sick thinking of it TBH.

Procrastination4 · 02/11/2017 23:41

You are certainly not BU. I’d be horrified if my dog did that to a child-both from a hygiene perspective, and even more so from a potentially frightening/dangerous perspective. The dog should have been on a lead, in the first place, and the owners should have been beside themselves apologizing to you for what happened. Absolutely disgusting!

OhBeggerItsMorning · 03/11/2017 01:55

YANBU

When ds2 was a toddler he was licked by a great dane just after dropping ds1 off at school, by the time we got home he had a really high temperature, his face was swelling up and all he wanted to do was to go to sleep. Had to ring NHS direct, they sent an ambulance out. Thankfully he came round and the swelling went down - the paramedics could see it happening, so he didn't end up in hospital. This had happened once before at grandparents house, he'd been in the garden. The general consensus is there is something he is allergic to in the garden and the dog that had licked him must have had the same thing on its tongue. If he had had a worse allergic reaction to it he might have died!

Since then I have always kept a close eye on other people's dogs in our vicinity. Also ds1 has a hatred of touching many animals, especially dogs, it's part of his autism; ds4 loves dogs but won't generally approach them as he became frightened of them when a neighbour came to our house with their whippets and they came up to his face to say hello, to him as a 2 yr old this was terrifying as they were about his height; they were lovely dogs but he wasn't to know that.

So no, dogs should not be allowed to just come up to children and lick them, especially on the face, there are loads of reasons why this should not happen.

RavenLG · 03/11/2017 02:32

I do find it amusing people protesting about disgusting it is to let a dog lick them but have willingly put other human genitals in their mouths.

It was one lick op, she won't die. If she was that scared why didn't you move her / pick her up / say something as the dog was approaching?

I don't think the owner should have laughed at you, but I do think some people are massively blowing this out of proportion. A dog approaching you and sniffing / licking you and you being scared, yeah ok say your scared and most reasonable owners will take the dog away. Having an aggressive and uncontrolled dog off lead is an actual problem. If dogs were never allowed off lead there would be a much bigger problem.

And no, I don't actually have a dog so I'm not an entitled owner.

Greyhorses · 03/11/2017 06:01

I wouldn't allow my dogs to approach anyone if I can help it, although my puppy did run up to a little boy once and try and play with him. It was very embarrassing and I now make sure she is recalled much earlier. I think the owner should have apologised but I probably wouldn't have made a massive deal out of it.

DS gets licked on a daily basis and hasn't turned into a dog yet Grin

Booboostwo · 03/11/2017 06:11

I've had dogs all my life and don't mind being licked by them but I would never presume anyone else would enjoy the experience. As a general rule I would recall my dogs around other people, especially young children, as some people are scared of dogs, others find them disgusting, young children may cry out or run which could get a dog excited, etc so it s best to avoid such situations. YANBU at all.

For anyone suggesting keeping dogs on leads at all times please rethink the suggestion. Dogs need appropriate exercise, which includes off lead time and socialisation with other dogs, otherwise you end up with a frustrated dog. Frustrated dogs are much more likely to take out their frustration in inappropriate ways. Of course this doesn't mean that any dog walked on lead becomes more likely to bite, but overall if all dogs are walked on lead more dogs are likely to bite.

KimmySchmidt1 · 03/11/2017 06:26

Honestly, I think you were being a bit precious and that your daughter would be better off with an example which encouraged her to laugh at harmless incidents like that rather than panicking and crying every time the world interacts with her in a harmless but unexpected way. Fearing dogs is lame and children should be encouraged not to go through
life with enexplicBle phobias that hold them back.

pictish · 03/11/2017 06:31

Fearing dogs is not lame...some of them bite. Being wary of all dogs is very sensible and I say that as a dog lover. Don't be such a ninny!

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/11/2017 06:54

I understand that you are trying to teach your children not to be frightened around dogs. However, I don’t think you should have let the dog get up to her face. It is too intrusive and isn’t going to help with her anxiety. She’s little. You’re expecting a level of understanding and maturity she just doesn’t have and won’t have even at 4. Reassurance and slow introduction once she’s older will.

When my dd was born we had an older and calm dog. My dd was still very scared of boisterous dogs she didn’t know when she was little. Still is sometimes. We had to be careful when we got our new dog as a puppy as she used to run screaming at the sofa. She had just turned 7. He’s small/medium 11kg btw. Even at 9, he sometimes upsets her. She was the one, who desperately wanted another dog btw.

The woman is an irresponsible idiot. At her age she should know better.

Trafalgarxxx · 03/11/2017 06:55

Even if you forget about the licking the face, youur dd was clearly upset by what the dog did.
Just for that, the owner should have been apologetic because not controlling her dog meant a very young child was upset and frightened.

It doesn’t matter whether the owner thinks it’s an ok thing to do. What mattersbthere is the fact it wasn’t an ok thing for your dd (as it would be for most 2yo unless they have a dog at home)

Pollydonia · 03/11/2017 07:00

As a dog owner , YADNBU ! How rude of her.

LML83 · 03/11/2017 07:01

A small dog jumped on my toddlers buggy and licked his face, not ideal but the owner was apologetic and my son not upset. So I wasn't bothered these things happen

Had the owner laughed and/or my son upset I would have been very annoyed. I think the biggest problem is the woman's attitude. YANBU!

KingPrawnOkay · 03/11/2017 07:06

It’s awful, some people just don’t get how scared people can be of dogs - or how they just might not like them. I was terrified of dogs when I was young to the point where I’d run into the road to avoid one. Now I’m over it and I have my own dog I always go out of my way to make sure no one gets upset, but I never saw the same consideration. In face once a woman walking her dog told me off for crying and my mum off for having a go at her when the dog ran and jumped up at me because we were upsetting her dog!

Wishfulmakeupping · 03/11/2017 07:08

Poor dd that is gross- I would have done the same as you and I have when dogs bound over to the pram and stick their heads in. I wish owners would realise it everyone likes dog and really don't want them jumping up at me or my dcs.

Notthisagainnow · 03/11/2017 07:11

Yanbu at all op but all the same do these threads have to descend into people saying how vile and disgusting they think dogs are?

I'm a cat person myself but I find it unnecessary.

Ginglealltheway · 03/11/2017 07:12

RavenLG. Interesting comparison you have made up there....

Oldsu · 03/11/2017 07:19

My park has 2 areas one that allows dogs and one that doesn't, I never take my dog into the area that doesn't allow dogs but I reserve the right to take my dog off the lead and play in the area where dogs are permitted.

If a child is in the dog permitted area I would assume that the parents are happy for their child to be in contact with dogs, otherwise why wouldn't they stay in the dog free area they have a choice.

That saying I wold apologise if my dog licked someone but would point out the dog free area of the park and suggest they used that in future - in fact its a nicer area with a play park and picnic area the dog permitted area is not that nice a bit grungy in fact

Notthisagainnow · 03/11/2017 07:21

oldsu our local park has the same and it's great - I don't know why more don't do it TBH.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 03/11/2017 07:32

I'm fed up of owners that don't control their dogs. My DCs are very nervous around dogs because of behaviour like this. I'm always calm because I want them to like dogs, but it is intimidating for a small child when a creature around their size is in their physical space and jumping/ licking etc.

Recently, I ended up asking an owner to put her dog on the lead after it had jumped up at me twice and was looking ready to do it a third time. I'd said "Get down!" in a firm tone both times, and apparently I was scaring the dog Confused

MrsMozart · 03/11/2017 07:33

I'd be livid if one of my dogs did that!

YWNBU

Swipe left for the next trending thread