Calling people out?!?!

[SmiledWithTheRisingSun]

Whoever the fuck came up with this phrase and why is it suddenly EVERYWHERE?? It makes me cringe. And cross 😡😤 JUST STOP IT WILL YOU?!?! !

(And breathe 😁)

Oh good, we're extending the discussion!

In that case can I point out:
Unless you actually write or type it out yourself, you do not, imv, 'write a will'. You 'make a will'. Or always did until about two years ago.

Isn't 'calling out' more of a regional phrase?

I remember a phone conversation with MIL about someone's behaviour that she disapproved of. MIL kept asking me if I'd 'called them on it'
I was was completely baffled or a bit dense by what she meant .I remember thinking does she want me to call round to their house or call them on the phone? It was a fine example of a North/South divide

But don’t get me started on people who say “myself” instead of “me”! I think they think it sounds more formal or more intelligent, but I think it sounds ridiculous Oh now you've opened a can of worms! It's not always people who "think they sound more formal or intelligent"

Ann Boleyn did this. And others of her time

I can't get worked up about 'calling somebody out' though I usually hear 'speaking up' or 'speaking out' instead.

"Ann Boleyn did this. And others of her time"

Need gone

Just saying

What's winding me up every time I see it is this trend for writing the date backwards, i.e. November 2nd instead of 2nd November. AND I keep reading news articles written in some kind of Americanised language.

'Calling out' is incredibly self-righteous. The implication is always that the 'caller' is right, the person 'being called out' is blatantly wrong, or behaving badly.

That might work if it were the case. Similarly, 'I picked him up on that point'. However, 'called out' is too often used in cases of disagreement, where both sides have a point but the 'caller out' wishes to display their opinion unchallenged, rather than enter into a discussion.

I think 'calling' implies distance - why not simply speak to the person about the issue? (and listen to and interact with them? Too scary? Too challenging?). Thus 'calling out' sounds to me like pointing and shouting, from a 'safe' distance.

Doesn't it mean "making an absolute dick of oneself by having a pop at someone else for percieved slights that are undoubtedly overstated and probably fair points anyway"?

Nah, I don't normally use "I called him on it" aggressively, or make a dick of myself thanks awfully!

People on MN always do this. Get all frothy about a phrase and attach behaviour to it when it's just a phrase. Maybe you've seen it used by someone who is behaving aggressively or being a dick, but that doesn't mean that every occasion when someone uses that phrase is being an aggressive dick. It's superficial to make that sort of assumption tbh.

"I know someone who said this sentence once and they were a dick, so everyone who uses the phrase must also be a dick"; yawn.

*...when someone uses that phrase, they are being an aggressive dick...

But yes, when I first came across 'called out' it sounded like a mixture of 'called on' and 'asked out', as in 'I'm going to call on my friend to see if she can come out to play'. Yet somehow done from a distance, so 'hey friend over there, are you coming out to play?'.

Ugh, here we go. So, here is an example:

I recently said that I called someone out for a racist comment on here, (it was racist and it was deleted because it was racist). Now, because I used the phrase "called someone out", does that automatically make me wrong and self righteous?

I also use it in a humorous, bantery among friends way; make ridiculous, untrue criticism of friend and then say "I TOTALLY called him on it. I just said what everybody else was thinking".

I don't mind the phrase but a word I've been hearing a LOT lately that gets on my thrips is 'shook'. I don't know why but it irritates me worse that a bad case of thrush.

Maybe you've seen it used by someone who is behaving aggressively or being a dick, but that doesn't mean that every occasion when someone uses that phrase is being an aggressive dick. It's superficial to make that sort of assumption tbh

It's not though, since that is my experience. I've heard it multiple times, and every time the person was being a dick.

some phrases do in fact indicate something about the person saying them. "Calling someone out" is inherently self righteous and arrogant, coming as it does from a position of "I'm right and you're wrong and we don't need to discuss that as I'm just going to lecture you instead".

Words, phrases have meanings, over and above their literal meanings. It's like when someone says "I'm not racist/sexist/whatever, BUT..." you know straight away they are in fact at least a little racist/sexist/whatever.

Sorry if you can't read these things but don't criticise those that can!

Bernard, self-righteous and wrong are not synonymous. It's about style of delivery...

...as you illustrate in your 'banter' example, where you explain how you make a joke of the self-righteous hyperbole that is 'calling someone out'.

Sorry if you can't read these things but don't criticise those that can!

Hahahahahaha! You're so right. I'm sorry. You're clearly much smarter than silly me. You're right. I'm wrong. The end.

I cannot abide the use of ‘no’ followed by a question mark at the end of a sentence. As in ‘saying myself instead or me is annoying, no?’ . It seems to be a recent thing, it feels like the written equivalent of a patronising, passive aggressive head tilt.

Ouch, defensive much?

...as you illustrate in your 'banter' example, where you explain how you make a joke of the self-righteous hyperbole that is 'calling someone out'.

That's^^ true. I can see how it can be adopted by the self-righteous and yet, still I can see that it's not the phrase but the way in which the particular person who is using it who is at fault.

Sorry if you can't read these things, but don't criticise those who can (JOKING)!

And ‘educate yourself’, anyone saying that can fuck right off.

defensive much

No, highly amused my dear! Sorry you can't tell the difference etc JOKING, JOKING! I'll stop now.

Bluths I completely agree with you on that.

Mention is better: less shouty and coming from atop a mountain of self righteousness.

"Nuanced" has been around for a while. It gives me the irrits: detailed was fine. "Drilling down" to the detail or even the "granularity": save it for the soil scientists, please.

"On a journey" * is so worn out our thought it was dying but then I heard it on the One Show last week.

I meant to say in munchkin second to last post; "That's^ true. I can see how it can be adopted by the self-righteous and yet, still I can see that it's not the phrase, but the way in which the particular person who is using it which is at fault."

So many typos today!

Agree it is part of the new self-righteous virtue signalling trend. Disagree with me fine but sorry - are you the boss of all that's permissible????

People expect plaudits for it too. And are encouraged to do it by virtue signalling others.

Person A " It was Jane's fault"
Person B - reporting on A - "A said it was Jane's fault"

Person C - knowing nothing of the context "Well I hope you called A on his sexism - that's appalling!"
Person D "You did call him out on that didn't you? It's victim blaming!"
Person E "I would have called him out on that, it's blatant racism"
Person F " You know that Jane has been stressed recently - I hope you called A out on his judginess!!"

Person B (not wanting to be thought of as racist, sexist, victim-blaming or other wise) "Of course I did!! Well I couldn't let it stand could I??"

Persons D,C,E,F - (((((((Approval of B and Satisfied Congratulation of Selves))))

Person X - "Sorry, what was the context? Was it Jane's responsibility? Did she make a mistake? Who else was involved?"

Persons BCDEF " You are being .....ist. We are calling you out on this"

Oh ffs "in my second to last post"! Munchkin? Bloody phone.