To be disgusted with a conversation on a professional website

[wanttobeateacha]

I came across it last night when looking for advice.

People calling children with special needs unpleasant names. Arguing and bickering. It's really put me off

Do I need to just toughen up?

Peng No i wouldn't expect them to be nice. In some cases eg. If a class were pushing boundaries i would think it was better if they were not nice. I think op meant that she thought teachers were decent people and the behaviour she observed was not decent. I would expect/hope teachers would be decent people. Never heard of any of my children's teachers not being. We don't know it was teachers on the forum though.

Fair enough. I probably am being naive/in blissful ignorance.

Having watched the emotional, physical and mental effort teachers expend, I don't really care if it takes a little impersonalisation and dark humour to get them to the end of the day.

By the way, some children are dick heads.

These ‘emotional, physical and mental efforts’ are a drop in the ocean compared to parenting a child with additional needs which is a responsibility for life. Teachers do not have this kind of responsibility and are trained and paid. Battling an adversarial system just to receive the educational support your child is entitled to, attending so many appointments full time work becomes impossible and to top it all being blamed for a measurable and recognisable disability, is what parents have to deal with. It is not only our careers on the line, but our children’s whole lives.

The lack of compassion shown in your posts regarding this, deadlier, suggests deep ignorance of the real issues at stake.

Your type of post shows how offensive ‘venting’ is. Really, how constructive is blaming the parents for either a diagnosis or lack of one, when the professionals cannot agree? Diagnosis is out of parents hands. Unless qualified, a parent can not diagnose. If qualified they cannot diagnose their own child. So please, stop being so ridiculously disablist.

However, teachers do need space to vent too. Had a crappy day etc etc most people need to decompress. What isn't acceptable is outright disrespect for the children.

No one needs the space to ‘vent’ in an offensive and disablist manner. There should not be a platform for this. Would people be arguing for the space to ‘vent’ misogynistic or racist comments? So why is the space to ‘vent’ seen by some as important to mention in the context of disablism?

No, teachers should not have space to 'vent' against disabled kids on the internet. All that does is make horrible people believe their horrible thoughts are more widespread than they are and it legitimises those thoughts. See 4chan and 'gamergate' for recent examples of people 'venting' against others online. All hate speech should be clamped down on to prevent it from normalising and spreading.

I don't have a disabled child but I've witnessed the struggles of those who do and I would never sit silently whilst someone makes a disablist comment either on or offline. An ex-friend used the word 'spacca' to describe someone they didn't like and I puller her up. It was one of many reasons why we are no longer friends.

magpie Did you read my post or just decide I said something different so you could argue at me?

The aspect that I took issue with from your post soap was that you felt it necessary to stress that teachers need space to vent. In the context of this thread, I think this was inappropriate. No one says this in the context of misogyny or racism. It should not be said in the context of disablism either.

Deadlier tell that to a parent who has sought help with her dc's sleep patterns in vain?

Or to someone with mental health issues and not coping at least in part due to having a dc with sn. I read an academic piece a while back that said many parents of sn experience ptsd levels of stress managing with their child and fighting the system

magpie it was pretty clear in my post where I was drawing the line. It is entirely relevant to the topic.

I disagree soap. Other posters can make their own minds up.

magpie The OP mentioned the disrespectful discussion about SN and then arguing and bickering. Two separate things. The first isn't acceptable. The second is venting and general Internet interaction. Therefore acknowledgement of general venting is relevant.

Some people are twats.
Some twats are teachers.
It not a teacher thing it’s a twat thing.

I don’t think ‘venting’ on a public forum is constructive. Allowing a platform for ‘venting’ encourages people to express these rather unpleasant attitudes. It is self pitying and discourages a wider perspective of compassion for the issues the real life people, children, who are the subject of these vents are dealing with. It is unfair - they are being talked about behind their backs.

magpie Surely you'd need to close the Internet then?

I think I know the thread you mean. Yes the poster was way out of line and this was immediately picked up on by other posters and called out on it.

Venting is essential, but (leaving aside the issue of whether it is appropriate) I would have thought venting to strangers on an internet forum would be unhelpful as there would be no real support on offer. I work with children who display very challenging behaviour, and although we get it, it can be exhausting and upsetting. I need (and get) support from my colleagues. Sounding off to strangers would offer me no resolution.

magpie Surely you'd need to close the Internet then?

Not at all. However I can disagree with the things that are said.

Madonna I agree. I think the people you speak to need to know the circumstances otherwise it's just shouting into the wind. The exception being staff bullying where you couldn't talk to colleagues or collective grumbles about new initiatives.

What is disablism? Just wondering.

Oh, and yep - most on TES are teachers or involved in education, and we get in trouble for swearing or making such sweeping comments as I've seen here. C'est la vie; darlings!

Sabrina, I'm not sure if that's a genuine query? Disabilism is to disabled people as racism is to race. It means treating people as lesser on the basis of their disability, including nasty verbal slurs.

You're a teacher and don't know what disabilism is?

Don't worry - they think we are a bunch of Daily Mail readers !

Shame really as we have a lot of teachers on mumsnet and I for one am NOT a Daily Mail reader.

There are plenty of trolls on both sites who want to stir things up - maybe the OP is one.

adyvimes: Some people are twats.
Some twats are teachers.
It not a teacher thing it’s a twat thing.

Absolutely this. I, too, guessed this would be about TES. Was once a good resource and online meeting place for those working in education. Sadly went to the dogs years ago.