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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think driving to roads where there's good trick or treating is a bit wrong

447 replies

sahknowme · 30/10/2017 23:38

We live in an area that puts a lot of effort into trick or treating (assumingly for the "local" kids). There's recently been a thread on a forum asking for streets/routes that are good to drive to for their kids to trick or treat, and our street has been mentioned.

AIBU to think this is a bit wrong/grabby, and we are doing it for our local area - not for randoms to drive from all over town?!

OP posts:
Katinkka · 31/10/2017 08:34

Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest. It’s kids and sweets ffs.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 31/10/2017 08:34

Areas of the village i live in go all out at Halloween

There are a few roads in particular and the nearby navy estate, thats on my side of the village...no idea about elsewhere in the village

We only get trick or treaters walking past our house to get to those areas

Everyone seems to follow the decorated/pumpkin houses rule so that doesn't appear to be a massive problem...at least in those roads

Word of mouth is one thing, but advertising without the agreement if the residents if that road does seem a bit much

I may be being dense...but monkey nuts are unshelled peanuts aren't they? Hope none of those children have allergies

Therealslimshady1 · 31/10/2017 08:37

It is about people who just want to."take" instead of "give"

If they do not want to "give" by making their own house/street/neighbourhood more fun and haloweeny, but simple want to rock up somewhere to "take", they are CF!

I give sweets to anyone, I don't check if they are actually from our village.

But driving your kids to an area with good Halloween is just so take-take-take

disahsterdahling · 31/10/2017 08:38

We live in the middle of nowhere, no neighbours for a couple of miles.
My DS (8) has never been trick or treating so I was thinking about driving him to the nearest town to see if there's anything he can join in with.
Maybe I just won't bother

I wouldn't. He's really not missed out.

Quite shocked about the necklace thing. Some people near me were moaning about people who didn't live on a particular estate going there for Halloween and I innocently asked how they'd know where someone lived, unless they knew them in another context. I hadn't realised that this sort of thing went on!

As for running out of treats by 7pm surely that's the latest you'd knock on a door anyway? It's dark at 5pm now since the clocks went back so presumably most people go out around then? Especially when it falls on a school night, like today?

I don't like Halloween at all, but it doesn't affect me if people don't knock on my door (and I make everything as dark as possible in the hope that they will get the message and won't). My mum doesn't like the masks, so she has a sign on her door saying please don't knock. She says where she is the kids are after money, anyway, which isn't funny.

ArcheryAnnie · 31/10/2017 08:38

I haven’t been to the peak ToT areas of London for a few years now but I can imagine that there is the potential for it all to get a bit out of control just because there’s a quarter of a million kids within a very short tube journey so it only takes a small percentage of them to decide that visiting Street X is “the thing to do” this year before the area gets totally overwhelmed.

There's an area near-ish me that's like that. This is the first year DS isn't ToTing, and honestly, while he's a little wistful about it, I am secretly delighted. There were so many children there were queues to go up to the doors. In the last couple of years you had to go earlier and earlier, and it was getting ridiculous. And too many massive teenagers who hadn't bothered to dress up.

Speaking of teenagers - if you do have a massive teen who is nonetheless still young enough to go ToTing, remind them not to have a costume that covers their face! What is cute in someone four foot tall is potentially terrifying in a young teenager taller than the adult opening the door!

DressedCrab · 31/10/2017 08:41

When my DSs were little they just did our lane and only knocked on the doors of people we knew.

Seems odd to encourage DCs to knock on strangers' doors. I wouldn't have been impressed if a DC I didn't know from Adam came knocking.

Coastalcommand · 31/10/2017 08:44

I think this must be what happens here. We get a huge amount of kids turning up and sweets run out early each time. It didn't used to be like this.
We have a baby and while I'm happy to give sweets out, it can be a bit of a nuisance being up and down all evening opening the door, dog barking, baby waking etc.
I'd rather it be about getting to know the families on our street, building relationships in our neighbourhood, rather than it becoming a tourist attraction for people to come to as an event.
Maybe I'm just a grumpy tired new mum but I do think it's a bit grabby to go to a ToT destination.

WaxOnFeckOff · 31/10/2017 08:53

Piggy, also Scottish and still guising round here but no tumshies, pumpkins so much easier to carve and stops people losing fingers.. Halloween just isn't the same without the smell of warm burnt turnip though. We did have a guiser with a lit turnip on string the other year. I was mighty impressed.

WomblingThree · 31/10/2017 09:03

It makes me laugh that the English co-opt an American tradition, and then complain that’s its greedy/grabby/whatever, and then try and anglicise it by making it exclusionary.

If you don’t like TNT, don’t fucking do it. It’s not compulsory for god’s sake. It’s just yet another thing to fill endless pages of MN whining about.

@SonyaY, do you hand out stars to the non-desirables? I hope to god you are a troll.

Hulababy · 31/10/2017 09:09

Especially when it falls on a school night, like today?

It's not a school night everywhere. It's half term in some areas.

ArcheryAnnie · 31/10/2017 09:10

WomblingThree it's not an American tradition. It started here, specifically in Scotland, although precusors were all over the UK.

speakout · 31/10/2017 09:10

American tradition

Oh please.

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 · 31/10/2017 09:23

Will echo the others wombling

Its not an American tradition

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 31/10/2017 09:25

I agree with Coastal.

It ought to be a community thing, not a bus-in event.

But of course I wouldn't turn away anyone, that would be awful.

Whinesalot · 31/10/2017 09:26

We have the tourist Halloweeners and it gets very expensive. It wasn't too bad to begin with but it's a bit out of hand now.

WhooooAmI24601 · 31/10/2017 09:29

We live in a family-friendly area where people drive their DCs in for trick or treating. I quite like it; some areas just aren't the right place; it could be a large population of elderly folk nearby which means parents are reluctant to let their DCs knock, or a main road that's far too dangerous for very young DC. Our village is the type where everyone joins in, so it's not surprising people bring them here. I've never thought that it's cheeky, it's just always happened.

BlowMeDownWithAFeatherMissis · 31/10/2017 09:29

If you don't want to give out sweets then just take your pumpkin inside surely? That's what we do when we run out and nearly everyone sticks to the 'if there's a pumpkin lantern you can knock' rule. I can't believe some people won't give sweets to kids because they come from 'elsewhere' - ie the local council estate! Anywhere that does that is way, way grimmer than any estate!

coddiwomple · 31/10/2017 09:32

social dictat? Hmm
Some posters are ridiculous. Someone buys sweets and is hoping to treat the kids of the neighbourhood, and do a nice thing. Why on earth do you think they should have to pay for complete strangers living on the other side of town or from other towns? It's their money, they are perfectly entitled to give to who they wish.

I can't believe this grabby attitude, and completely missing the point. It's about community, not stuffing your pockets with free gifts because they are free.
I understand more and more why people do need to live in gated communities if they want any hope of peace and quiet.

A child is not missing out because he's not trick or treating anyway.

coddiwomple · 31/10/2017 09:34

because they come from 'elsewhere' - ie the local council estate!

I am curious why do you have to interpret the "Other side of town" as the council estate? It says more about you than anything else.
I agree with above, the most "halloween streets" never seem to be in the so-called poshest area of town.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 31/10/2017 09:37

Well coddiwomple perhaps because we don't have busloads of children arriving, that's my experience and that's my point of reference.

To make any kind of assessment of how 'serious' a problem this sweetie-giving has become or how much of an epidemic it is, I would need more information. For now though, I'll just give my clearly ridiculous point of view that it's a mean-minded dictat and I wouldn't follow suit.

Keep your silly humpy face to yourself though... or is that a mask? Wink

CountDuckulaTheSqueaky · 31/10/2017 09:43

A friend of mine suggested that one year, she also said you get more sweets if you dress as a witch, a skeleton or a devil. We ended up not going, as we were staying at my now DH's house that day, so we did locally to him. We go to an American lady's house, she's known as Cobweb Lady, has she used to decorate her house with cobwebs, this year she has a skeleton climbing out of a plant pot! Halloween Grin Then we go to a street full of Americans, at her recommendation! Halloween Grin

thecatsthecats · 31/10/2017 09:44

I'm a little bit sympathetic, because whilst we've bought a few bags of sweets in, neither of us cares about Halloween, and by the looks of it, neither does anyone else on our street. Hard luck for the kids who live here!

I'm wondering whether the 'only decorated houses' rule that comes up on here applies in real life. We're not decorating (might put the cats in their bow ties), so we'll see how it turns out!

CountDuckulaTheSqueaky · 31/10/2017 09:46

It definitely applies in America and Canada, I don't think everyone knows it here. We'd only go to decorated houses before we knew it was a rule, because it was just common sense.

JollyCat · 31/10/2017 09:48

I dont answer the door, we dont decorate, I have ill health and need to rest, not be answering the door every 5 minutes, but they still insist on knocking when the house is in near total darkness, they dont just knock once, they just keep continuing to knock again and again, I find it very stressful as we are trying to relax in the evening. The first year we lived here, it was horrendous, I am not joking, but they started at 5pm and it was literally every 5 minutes until after 10pm! The last few years, they have not been as many, but I am dreading tonight tbf.

MargoLovebutter · 31/10/2017 09:50

Yes it is wrong. I don't see how it is a good or wise idea for kids to knock on the doors of total strangers.

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