I met a very close friend when home for a few days in my hometown in Ireland (I have been living in France for the last 20 years). We had a lovely dinner until we were about to say goodbye when she mentioned that since we will both be 50 next year, we could maybe get other friends together who will also be 50 to do a group party. I said, funny you should say that, since DH didn’t get around to doing his 50th three years ago, he suggested us doing a 50th birthday for the two of us next year. I told her that we would soon be letting people know the date since we hope some family and friends could travel over from Ireland and the UK for the party making the most of the occasion to get old friends together.
She started insisting saying that’s why she wants to do the party with me so that we reminisce with the old friends (she used to live in France and knew our group of friends). I felt very awkward and tried explaining that since we are definitely doing the party, that she will get to have a great time with all our old group of friends (nearly all of whom she hasn’t kept in contact with but that I have).
She again insisted that she wanted it to be her party too. I said that we would be doing it in France so that might be difficult for her friends or family to come to. She said that she wouldn’t be inviting family; she prefers her work colleagues not to know her age so she wouldn’t invite them; and that her three good friends from her hometown wouldn’t be the type that would go to France for the party. She said she would like to see our old group of friends.
I reiterated that she will see them, since I was inviting them anyway but that it didn’t make sense it being her party too if she wasn’t inviting anyone that was from her side.
She got annoyed, saying she didn’t understand why I was being difficult.
I explained again that I really didn’t understand the logic of me and my husband organizing the party (possibly at our house), sending the invites, preparing the food and drink, inviting piles of people she doesn’t know (plus the ones she does know) and yet say on the invites that it’s a party for us and for my friend…
She then got into a huff and said there was no point continuing speaking since I was being difficult, making a problem out of it. And she left.
I absolutely hate confrontations and falling out with people but this annoyed me because I think she is being unreasonable. We haven’t yet spoken since then and I’m worried she will not let this drop.