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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend my savings on a boob job instead of finishing renovating our home

87 replies

Millymills · 29/10/2017 18:57

DP and I purchased a house which we’ve been renovating mostly with my money (I had much more in savings). All the essential things have been done and all the rooms we use daily are finished. We’re now down to needing a painter and decorator for our spare rooms and hallway/landings and buying some non essential home furnishings. Basically just making the place look pretty.

I’m down to my final £5k and I’m in two minds. I’m terribly flat chested and have virtually no breast tissue at all. AA bras even gape open at the top and I find myself having to wear small fabric teen bras. This has bothered me for so long. Clothes shopping is impossible as nothing fits properly, I can’t wear a bikini without looking like a child and I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. Even chicken fillets and super push up bras don’t work as I don’t have enough breast tissue for them to fit under and nothing to boost up. I’ve longed for a boob job ever since i was 18, but talked myself out doing it as there’s always more important things to pay for.

DP thinks I’m ridiculous, loves me just as I am etc etc, but unfortunately this doesn’t help how I feel inside. He’s horrified that I’m contemplating spending my last £5k on my boobs and leaving the house unfinished until we are able to save again (which won’t take too long - collectively we earn a decent amount) Am I being terribly U and selfish here? Opinions appreciated Sad

OP posts:
Wineandworkout · 30/10/2017 15:57

Your savings, your choice :) At the same time, I'm sorry to read that you're so unhappy with your appearance.

Suggest DH signs up for some overtime!

Wineandworkout · 30/10/2017 16:00

Yes I'm sure her dp will be happy to do the painting that he thought they would pay a tradesman to do whilst his partner recovers from surgery he never supported.

It's so cute when lonely, sulky men have nothing better to do with their time than join in with women's discussions about DIY and cosmetic surgery 😂

disahsterdahling · 30/10/2017 16:07

I think some therapy would be cheaper and better for you.

I totally understand why people would go for a reduction but I have no clue why you'd think bigger is better. And as others have said, you're storing up possible problems for the future.

For me, smaller is better. Your clothes look better, you look slimmer and less matronly.

Please don't do it.

Wineandworkout · 30/10/2017 16:12

I think some therapy would be cheaper and better for you.

Therapy to stop her wanting a boob job? Or therapy to stop her wanting to renovate her house? If the former, why not also the latter? What's wrong with simply respecting her preferences rather than telling her she's wrong to have them?

ButchyRestingFace · 30/10/2017 16:27

Therapy to stop her wanting a boob job? Or therapy to stop her wanting to renovate her house? If the former, why not also the latter? What's wrong with simply respecting her preferences rather than telling her she's wrong to have them?

Any talk of cosmetic surgery inevitably brings out a few puritans.

Domestic surgery, on the other hand, is acceptable. You could want to transform your two-up-two-down in Brixton into a miniature version of Taj Mahal, and no-one would suggest you needed to lie down in a nice dark room.

Nancy91 · 30/10/2017 16:27

Yeah if you want to look better you definitely need therapy. Why on earth would you want to feel good about the way you look?! Hmm

Birdsgottafly · 30/10/2017 16:29

"I agree that a reverse 'DH wants penis enlargement and says we can live in a half-done house until we save again' would not go down well."

There was a thread because the OPs husband wanted hair implants and the thread went in favour of the Husband.

ButchyRestingFace · 30/10/2017 16:32

"I agree that a reverse 'DH wants penis enlargement and says we can live in a half-done house until we save again' would not go down well."

A penis enlargement would affect his wife.

** Presumably he would be looking to insert the enhanced penis somewhere.

juneau · 30/10/2017 16:34

If it's your money and you want to get a boob job and know it would make a huge difference to your life that decorating the spare room will not, then get the boob job. I can't imagine not having boobs, whereas decorating the spare room can, IME, wait indefinitely. Go for it.

LimpidPools · 30/10/2017 17:10

Am I right in thinking that if you spend your money on the house then you will be on your own saving up for surgery, but if you spend on surgery now you're partner will help pay to finish the house?

Use the rest of your savings to do what you've always wanted with your body.

And I echo what previous posters have said - I hope if you've sunk a lot more money in the house than your partner you've done something to protect your larger investment.

FluttershysCutieMark · 30/10/2017 17:56

It's so cute when lonely, sulky men have nothing better to do with their time than join in with women's discussions about DIY and cosmetic surgery

It so sad when casual sexism makes its way in to someone's reply. I think you will find I have been on mn for a number of years, commenting on whatever threads take my fancy, not that I have to justify myself to someone who clearly believes mumsnet should only be for women.

Sprinklestar · 30/10/2017 18:27

Sounds like your partner got a good deal when he met you! Why have all your savings gone on the house? Why not his?
Spend your money as you see fit! Sounds like he's more bothered about painting and curtains he won't be paying for than your happiness.

Arealhumanbeing · 30/10/2017 19:02

FluttershysCutieMark

You’re still sulking. For God’s sake cheer up, love! Smile

Bella8 · 30/10/2017 19:08

You could always do the painting yourself, would a decorator really be necessary? And a few things to make place look pretty won't cost too much. That way you'd have your money left to spend as you see fit. If it affects your confidence I say go for it. I've heard of a lot of celebrities getting theirs removed lately saying they wish they'd never got them done and embraced what they naturally have so just be completely certain it's definitely what you want x

thecatsthecats · 30/10/2017 19:13

Bella - OP said in her first post it was something she'd wanted for ages. Why are people doubting her capacity to know her own mind? A double aa cup isn't just 'ooh, they're a bit small'. Just like my k cups aren't 'on the big side'.

I literally in my head imagine my boobs smaller when I picture how outfits will look. OP isn't some celebrity selling her image, she's making a choice about how her body looks for her own satisfaction.

confuseddotcom82 · 30/10/2017 19:14

I’ve just done exactly the same thing, right down to the house renovations. It’s something I’ve wanted all my life, I’ve had my children and was lucky enough to breast feed them but this has taken its toll on my small but perfectly formed breasts. I decided it was time to focus on me, who knows how long we have and I want to look and feel as confident as I can. I would have been more sensible to spend the money on the house or something to benefit the family but this time I prioritised me, can’t say my DH whilst happy before, isn’t too displeased with the new additions either 😀.

userlotsanumbers · 30/10/2017 19:22

On the one hand, your money, your body, your choice.

On the other, surgery with associated risks to appease society's view of the 'perfect woman'. Meh.

Consider: your breasts will change over your lifetime anyway (most get bigger naturally) and gravity still happens. In that, the breast implant will stay where they were while the natural breast tissue undergoes ptosis (drops to the floor, hence, gravity).

ButchyRestingFace · 30/10/2017 19:30

Yes I'm sure her dp will be happy to do the painting that he thought they would pay a tradesman to do whilst his partner recovers from surgery he never supported.

He doesn't need to be happy about doing it.

He just needs to do it.

Bella8 · 30/10/2017 20:47

thecatsthecats The reason I said that was because my friend thought she knew her own mind and then later regretted her decision. Our mind can change in different stages of our lives... thank you

Bella8 · 30/10/2017 20:50

Oh and I actually thought my post was perfectly nice 🙄

Ukelou · 31/10/2017 00:16

All the people saying if dh wanted a penis enlargement everyone would feel different, really if he said his penis was so small it was affecting his confidence and happiness, we would all say don't do it just accept the way you are? I dont think people would. i doubt the op is talking about Jordan type breasts just normal size.

JustPutSomeGlitterOnIt · 31/10/2017 00:22

If I had it done this winter I could in theory be fully healed by next summer, and able to wear a bikini which would be amazing!

Hooooowwwww exciting. Do it!

Houses can be projects over years.

Bella8 · 31/10/2017 08:12

I think you have to go with what means more to you. If it was me I'd just do the painting myself and get the boob job if it was affecting me as much as you say it is you. You get one life and if that would make you happy and confident you go girl! I believe it isn't just cosmetic and there is a medical need when it has bothered you for so long. We all have parts of our body we dislike and i bet if some of us had the money we'd get them fixed! Isn't it great we live in a world where the option is there.

prettywhiteguitar · 31/10/2017 10:27

I think money aside I'd be worried about how natural the implants would look if you have no breast tissue, I have small boobs and have come to appreciate them over the years. If I'd had the money in my twenties I probably would have had them done, which I'm glad I haven't now.

Bella8 · 31/10/2017 10:42

The implants looks more natural than they used to and are shaped better than what they used to be a long time ago and you would get to see them in an consultationannd wear a bra with them on to see how you like the shape. I think you'd get a good idea if you feel they are natural enough for you by having a consultation and deciding from there x