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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend my savings on a boob job instead of finishing renovating our home

87 replies

Millymills · 29/10/2017 18:57

DP and I purchased a house which we’ve been renovating mostly with my money (I had much more in savings). All the essential things have been done and all the rooms we use daily are finished. We’re now down to needing a painter and decorator for our spare rooms and hallway/landings and buying some non essential home furnishings. Basically just making the place look pretty.

I’m down to my final £5k and I’m in two minds. I’m terribly flat chested and have virtually no breast tissue at all. AA bras even gape open at the top and I find myself having to wear small fabric teen bras. This has bothered me for so long. Clothes shopping is impossible as nothing fits properly, I can’t wear a bikini without looking like a child and I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. Even chicken fillets and super push up bras don’t work as I don’t have enough breast tissue for them to fit under and nothing to boost up. I’ve longed for a boob job ever since i was 18, but talked myself out doing it as there’s always more important things to pay for.

DP thinks I’m ridiculous, loves me just as I am etc etc, but unfortunately this doesn’t help how I feel inside. He’s horrified that I’m contemplating spending my last £5k on my boobs and leaving the house unfinished until we are able to save again (which won’t take too long - collectively we earn a decent amount) Am I being terribly U and selfish here? Opinions appreciated Sad

OP posts:
Calvinlookingforhobbs · 30/10/2017 12:55

Do you plan to have children? If so, i would discuss the possibility of sagging, stretch marks and implications if you want to breast feed with a consultant. It may prove wise to wait until after kids to see what changes they bring.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 30/10/2017 12:55

I find it healthy to have breaks between home improvement projects anyway. Also it sounds like you've reached a stage where it's more spending a bit here and a bit there as you find the right items rather than needing ££££ in one fell swoop.

I'm a B cup, and can understand the difficulty you have with the lack of breast tissue (although I have enough that it's not on a list of anything I would do which is limited solely to mulling over the words "tummy tuck".

The problem is that it's the kind of thing that never will be prioritised. There will always be another less "selfish" thing that you can put your savings towards, and never get round to doing it. I think it's worthy of a serious talk and investigation, and action if you still feel that it's right.

grannysmiff · 30/10/2017 12:58

Also for you to be "that" small chested makes me think that your DP may have a bit of a thing for that shape - which is something worth considering no? Its your body but if you have a partner who loves your body maybe you need to yse that as inspiration for accepting yourself

ghostyslovesheets · 30/10/2017 13:01

Don't pay a painter DIY! It's easy

If you can afford it and the unpaid time off work for recovery (and work let you take leave) then it's your money and your choice - but it will require further surgery along the way which you will need money for

I don't see the problem - I'd understand him if he had plowed his money into it and you where refusing to but that's not the case

BabyDreams2018 · 30/10/2017 13:08

Coming from this at a slightly different view. As you are not married, is your name on the deeds and in the (however unlikely) event of you breaking up, is the money (your savings) that you have invested protected and have you got a written agreement to get recompensated for the money you have put into the house?
Agree that most cosmetic surgery needs maintenance after a certain time frame so bare that in mind when having your consultations and do a lot of research before proceeding. Some women get it done abroad because it is cheaper and have follow up care at home with a clinic.

FluttershysCutieMark · 30/10/2017 13:11

DP can do the painting and the decorating whilst you recover from the surgery :-)

Yes I'm sure her dp will be happy to do the painting that he thought they would pay a tradesman to do whilst his partner recovers from surgery he never supported.

SunnyCoco · 30/10/2017 13:20

Do the cosmetic surgery on a payment plan and spend the £5k on finishing the house
Winner winner!

pandarific · 30/10/2017 13:29

As it's a big operation op, have a look at the Noogleberry system first. It's a handheld pump action thing, with plastic cups. I had quite good results and as a natural method with no downtime, risk and not very significant outlay perhaps it's a good option to try first before going the surgical route?

HungerOfThePine · 30/10/2017 13:37

There are ways to get a boob job and pay over time a bit like hire purchasing a car except I doubt they will take your new boobs away.

Could compromise and find a way to pay half the cost upfront the pay the rest over time? That way some renovation can get done.

I don't think yabu, it's something you've always wanted and not a flight of fancy.

TheCraicDealer · 30/10/2017 13:55

Go for it. You've sacrificed more of your savings already and right now he's enjoying the fruits of that. If he wants to finish the house immediately (which is a luxury in itself- how many people can afford that?) then he needs to either help save more or help you do it yourselves. Painting is a PITA but it's not that hard, certainly not something you need to save to pay someone else to do if you're dying to get it done. It would be different if you were without a kitchen, bedroom or bathroom but it doesn't exactly sound like you're living in Steptoe & Sons Yard atm.

And it might be my natural cautious nature, but I wouldn't be pouring literally all of my savings into a project which he might end up getting 50% of the proceeds of if you split up. Keep it or save it, but I wouldn't be spending any more of your remaining savings on non-urgent stuff for the house. Anything above and beyond what's been done to date would be joint expenditure if it were me.

KarateKitten · 30/10/2017 13:57

I'm so depressed for womankind.

littlechous · 30/10/2017 14:03

Karate don’t despair for womankind but leave me out of it please, I’m fine!

OP, some have mentioned a payment plan - I did this.* My boobs are the most favourite thing I’ve bought, I prefer them to my house.*
You can do it where you can get beautiful, smallish, teardrop shape ‘chic’ breasts.* Not huge balloons.*

I say go for it!

littlechous · 30/10/2017 14:03

Bold fail 🙄

MrsTerryPratchett · 30/10/2017 14:05

Yes I'm sure her dp will be happy to do the painting that he thought they would pay a tradesman to do whilst his partner recovers from surgery he never supported.

He was happy to spend her savings on a joint house. OP: Did you ring-fence the money legally? If you split up, will he get the benefit?

I think you need to think very carefully about the possible consequences. It's major surgery. Breast implants have a terrible history of causing health issues. Scars?

Blackcatonthesofa · 30/10/2017 14:08

I'm not very pro breast surgery but it is your money. If you spend it on the house now, will DP agree to help save for the surgery later? Because if not, then it isn't fair to you to spend the money on the house first.

Ttbb · 30/10/2017 14:09

Are you planning on having children? If you are then a boob job will be a) pointless-because your breasts will change massively and b) a very bad idea because it could impact your ability to breast feed or even cause pain as your breasts change. Also bare in mind that this isn't a one off £5k, you will have to replace your implants regularly.

ButchyRestingFace · 30/10/2017 14:12

I think it's depressing you feel like you need this. Flat chested women look fantastic as they are.

OP apparently doesn't agree (at least with reference to herself).

jay55 · 30/10/2017 14:15

I’d do neither and keep the savings for emergencies.

fucksakefay · 30/10/2017 14:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Arealhumanbeing · 30/10/2017 15:11

YANBU.

As far as I know the newest type of implants should be fine for a good 20 years if not forever.

Do it! Enjoy your new boobs!

Nancy91 · 30/10/2017 15:19

There are some myths floating about on this thread. I love my implants, they look and feel natural and I can still breast feed. No stretch marks or sagging. They won't need regular replacements, possibly once in the rest of my lifetime if ever! I used annual leave for a week off work and the surgery was fine, I've had way worse pain at the dentists!

Don't let anyone stop you doing something that will make you happier.

PickAChew · 30/10/2017 15:23

If your bra fits that badly it's almost definitely the wrong size. AA is nothing at all, like a child.

Jaxhog · 30/10/2017 15:37

Are you a partnership? If not, why are you living together? If you are, then spend it on something important for both of you. YABU. Partnership means sharing.

SilverSpot · 30/10/2017 15:44

If your bra fits that badly it's almost definitely the wrong size. AA is nothing at all, like a child

The op says she has vertically no breast tissue. There is a huge range of bread sizes and some people will be on the extreme ends. It's a bit condescending to tell the Op she is just wearing the wrong bra size...!

Arealhumanbeing · 30/10/2017 15:55

Jaxhog

OP has already spent the rest of her savings on renovating the house for them.