To spend my savings on a boob job instead of finishing renovating our home

[Millymills]

DP and I purchased a house which we’ve been renovating mostly with my money (I had much more in savings). All the essential things have been done and all the rooms we use daily are finished. We’re now down to needing a painter and decorator for our spare rooms and hallway/landings and buying some non essential home furnishings. Basically just making the place look pretty.

I’m down to my final £5k and I’m in two minds. I’m terribly flat chested and have virtually no breast tissue at all. AA bras even gape open at the top and I find myself having to wear small fabric teen bras. This has bothered me for so long. Clothes shopping is impossible as nothing fits properly, I can’t wear a bikini without looking like a child and I can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror. Even chicken fillets and super push up bras don’t work as I don’t have enough breast tissue for them to fit under and nothing to boost up. I’ve longed for a boob job ever since i was 18, but talked myself out doing it as there’s always more important things to pay for.

DP thinks I’m ridiculous, loves me just as I am etc etc, but unfortunately this doesn’t help how I feel inside. He’s horrified that I’m contemplating spending my last £5k on my boobs and leaving the house unfinished until we are able to save again (which won’t take too long - collectively we earn a decent amount) Am I being terribly U and selfish here? Opinions appreciated

[sailorcherries]

dratsea granted we are in an area where manual labourers are a dime a dozen so prices are competitive.

My uncle is also a painter decorator and while he fits in an hour or two to paint a room for me, for no more than some Jack, I know he isn't that expensive.

[Arealhumanbeing]

dratsea

Thanks for your take on the matter.

I think I would have an uplift rather than an implant. My breasts are large but empty at the top, look awful and can be very uncomfortable. I wasn’t sure whether an implant would be necessary or not.

I don’t read Cosmo and I have a couple of Uk surgeons in mind, so there are no concerns regarding any of that other stuff.

Thanks again.

[JustPutSomeGlitterOnIt]

🎉

[Millymills]

Just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone for your comments.

To those of you suggesting I get some counselling or wear a smaller bra, as per my post unfortunately even the smallest bras available are far too big. I have no breast tissue whatsoever. My personal view is that my feelings are perfectly normal - most women with a totally flat chest would no doubt feel the same. Even a full A cup would be amazing for me. I don't feel like a woman at all the moment.

I think you've all helped me make up my mind, I think I'm going to go for it. I had a good chat with DP last night and he respects my choice and claims to understand now I've had a chance to explain how I feel. Thanks everyone

[dratsea]

Hello sailor

Your friend got good advice.

If you have any recommendation for someone who for £5k would do my hall/landing/spare rooms and leave enough to get some furnishings as well could you please let me know, preferably by message rather than on the thread?

[dratsea]

Arealhumanbeing,

I am not a cosmetic surgeon. Just a general surgeon who had a breast interest. After a mastectomy the implant needs to go behind the muscle, I think the present best practice is to move muscle from the back and not use an implant. Over my career I took out a number of cosmetic implants put under a tiny boob. They had gone walk-about. I did not have to treat but obviously saw a lot of successful surgeries on small but not pancake ladies. I have no doubt a proper cosmetic surgeon in UK would give good advice.

As to second question why would you have the op if your breasts were in the normal range? OK celebrity/porn/WAG and I would add asymmetry or post mastectomy. But if you are normal why have a (expensive) bag of silicone tucked into your body anywhere? And please do not go for cheap overseas. Although I am old and wrinkly, I would not think even of botox let alone a face lift. The best burns surgeon I ever worked with (he was also No 1 re-do nose man on Harley Street) was proud of his very large midline incision for his perforated ulcer and would not dream of any tidying up by one of his colleagues.

Hope that helps but if anyone does feel the need please, please go to a proper surgeon, in the UK and not a cosmetic clinic advertised in the back of Cosmo.

[sailorcherries]

I knew someone who had nothing there, straight up and down. For years she spent hours researching cosmetic procedures and finally bit the bullet and had various consultations. All of the surgeons she met with advised her against the operation, as she was so small naturally it wasn't really an 'enhancement' more a 'creation'. As a result she'd only be able to go to a B or so as there was not enough skin or tissue to go over bigger breasts.

If you desperately want it go to the consulation and see what is advised, talk about finances and proceed.
Also speak to various decorators and get quotes. £5k to paint a hallway, landing and spare bedrooms is an awful lot of money!

[derxa]

I wouldn't.

[Arealhumanbeing]

dratsea

Can you say more about the risk?

Also, do you recommend that no one has the operation or just those who have small breasts?

[dratsea]

Retired surgeon. Please do not. The reward is clearly greater the smaller the breast but so is the risk. If you really are pancake size I can understand your lack of confidence when pressured by all around. Mrs dratsea says she was often mistaken for a boy. She had insecurities but she has always been just right for me. Maybe because I have always measured the size of a woman from the neck up. As an aside after dcx2 she has an average 60yr old figure and is happy that she does not have to adjust her cleavage to pull up her pants! The funding/painting the hall question is really not relevant, but it is your choice.

[Tinty]

OP One more thing to think about. My friend has very small breasts and told me that she always thought wistfully about having a breast enlargement, but she also had two DD's and she didn't want them to get to their teenage years and think that their breasts are not big enough and that they are inadequate if their own mother had hers enlarged because small is not great. So she decided not to do it for the sake of her DD's.

Also my friend is about the same size all over (except for the chest), as I am, but she looks small and very lean and slim, next to her I sometimes look matronly because of my bigger chest.

[Bella8]

Excuse the typos!*

[Bella8]

The implants looks more natural than they used to and are shaped better than what they used to be a long time ago and you would get to see them in an consultationannd wear a bra with them on to see how you like the shape. I think you'd get a good idea if you feel they are natural enough for you by having a consultation and deciding from there x

[prettywhiteguitar]

I think money aside I'd be worried about how natural the implants would look if you have no breast tissue, I have small boobs and have come to appreciate them over the years. If I'd had the money in my twenties I probably would have had them done, which I'm glad I haven't now.

[Bella8]

I think you have to go with what means more to you. If it was me I'd just do the painting myself and get the boob job if it was affecting me as much as you say it is you. You get one life and if that would make you happy and confident you go girl! I believe it isn't just cosmetic and there is a medical need when it has bothered you for so long. We all have parts of our body we dislike and i bet if some of us had the money we'd get them fixed! Isn't it great we live in a world where the option is there.

[JustPutSomeGlitterOnIt]

If I had it done this winter I could in theory be fully healed by next summer, and able to wear a bikini which would be amazing!

Hooooowwwww exciting. Do it!


Houses can be projects over years.

[Ukelou]

All the people saying if dh wanted a penis enlargement everyone would feel different, really if he said his penis was so small it was affecting his confidence and happiness, we would all say don't do it just accept the way you are? I dont think people would. i doubt the op is talking about Jordan type breasts just normal size.

[Bella8]

Oh and I actually thought my post was perfectly nice 🙄

[Bella8]

thecatsthecats The reason I said that was because my friend thought she knew her own mind and then later regretted her decision. Our mind can change in different stages of our lives... thank you

[ButchyRestingFace]

Yes I'm sure her dp will be happy to do the painting that he thought they would pay a tradesman to do whilst his partner recovers from surgery he never supported.

He doesn't need to be happy about doing it.

He just needs to do it.

[userlotsanumbers]

On the one hand, your money, your body, your choice.

On the other, surgery with associated risks to appease society's view of the 'perfect woman'. Meh.

Consider: your breasts will change over your lifetime anyway (most get bigger naturally) and gravity still happens. In that, the breast implant will stay where they were while the natural breast tissue undergoes ptosis (drops to the floor, hence, gravity).

[confuseddotcom82]

I’ve just done exactly the same thing, right down to the house renovations. It’s something I’ve wanted all my life, I’ve had my children and was lucky enough to breast feed them but this has taken its toll on my small but perfectly formed breasts. I decided it was time to focus on me, who knows how long we have and I want to look and feel as confident as I can. I would have been more sensible to spend the money on the house or something to benefit the family but this time I prioritised me, can’t say my DH whilst happy before, isn’t too displeased with the new additions either 😀.

[thecatsthecats]

Bella - OP said in her first post it was something she'd wanted for ages. Why are people doubting her capacity to know her own mind? A double aa cup isn't just 'ooh, they're a bit small'. Just like my k cups aren't 'on the big side'.

I literally in my head imagine my boobs smaller when I picture how outfits will look. OP isn't some celebrity selling her image, she's making a choice about how her body looks for her own satisfaction.

[Bella8]

You could always do the painting yourself, would a decorator really be necessary? And a few things to make place look pretty won't cost too much. That way you'd have your money left to spend as you see fit. If it affects your confidence I say go for it. I've heard of a lot of celebrities getting theirs removed lately saying they wish they'd never got them done and embraced what they naturally have so just be completely certain it's definitely what you want x

[Arealhumanbeing]

FluttershysCutieMark

You’re still sulking. For God’s sake cheer up, love!