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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel a bit pissed off at being given concert tickets?

226 replies

Zoeylee · 29/10/2017 12:24

I know it sounds mad, and I hate myself for thinking this. However, my brother and SIL have given me concert tickets for my birthday, (2 tickets actually, so me and DH can go.) It's for someone I do like (and have done for years.)

Problem is, we are very rural. We are literally 45 to 50 minutes drive from a train station, and the city where the concert is, is another HOUR and a QUARTER journey on the train. (Including having to change trains half way.)

So we are talking about starting out a MINIMUM of 3 hours before the concert starts, as it says on the tickets that the doors open at 6.00pm and it's advisable to get there early. The concert starts with a support act at 7pm... To enable ourselves to get the last train back would involve leaving the concert at 9pm. The main act will probably only just be starting then.

Either that or we stay in a travelodge or premier inn. I have already looked at the date, and because it's a Friday, the cheapest room is £85! Confused This would be on top of the train fares that will cost £70 for the two! So with food and extra bits and bobs, we could be looking at £200.

Driving would be a PITA too, as that would take the best part of two and a half to three hours (five to six hour round-trip,) and would be a ballache, with driving in and around a major city, and car parking and suchlike.

WIBU to sell the tickets on and buy something else? Should I pretend we went to the concert and fake a few photos? Or should I be honest? I feel like such a cow, but these 'free tickets' are going to end up costing us a bleeding fortune! And the thought of all the hassle involved in travelling to this concert, and back (even though I like the act,) is giving me a headache. My brother and SIL meant well, but I don't think they thought it through. Sad

OP posts:
AnnabellaH · 29/10/2017 14:09

Sorry OP but it takes me 5hrs to drive from Liverpool to Brighton. And only 3hrs to get to somewhere like Bridlington where at least an hour is rural. I think you're somewhat exaggerating a bit and just looking for excuses. You're not travelling the length of the bloody country.

RhiannonOHara · 29/10/2017 14:11

What else do you call it, Rose, when she's said repeatedly it was a nice thought, she's grateful, she feels bad about turning them down etc?

RoseWhiteTips · 29/10/2017 14:13

Swearing at someone is as unnecessary online as it is in real life. Not impressive.

Itsonkyme · 29/10/2017 14:13

I KNOW, I KNOW! I KNOW!
Took ages to think of this!! What a get-out clause!
You "act" as if you're going! Then on the day have a massive case of the shits, so can't go!
Ring/text bil and sil and tell them bad news.
Sorted!!!! Whadayathink!!!!!!

Tour · 29/10/2017 14:14

You don't have to go. I wouldn't tell your brother. Just sent a message saying thanks it was amazing

Where is the concert? Someone on here might want the tickets

SellFridges · 29/10/2017 14:15

I cannot wait to hear where you live that involves such arduous travel to a city. Do you never need to get to a big hospital or anything like that?

LetsSplashMummy · 29/10/2017 14:15

The title is whether she is BU to be pissed off, which is what some people are responding to. The OP is a different question but it isn't unusual for people to respond to a title.

I think people can sympathise with the amount of effort involved, it's just hard to reconcile someone choosing to live so rurally with a reluctance to travel. It indicates quite a lot of self imposed restrictions. I think people are concerned and trying to be reassuring that it isn't that bad instead of critical.

I think honesty is best, tell your brother what you have told us (without the pissed off-ness or aggression) and hopefully he can go or knows someone else who can. It also stops you receiving gifts like this in the future.

Floralnomad · 29/10/2017 14:16

What would you do with the tickets is a stupid question though . You obviously just give them back to the gifter and tell them that you won't be able to make it so could they find someone else who would appreciate them or try to get his money back . To do anything else would be awful , you cannot pretend you've been and enjoyed it because it's likely the same will happen again and that is just wasting someone else's money and selling a gift is terrible , the most you should do is regift it not profit . Those of us that said the OP was unreasonable and suggested ways she could go were simply trying to be helpful and pointing out that us the same for most normal people who don't live in a city . How were we to know the OP lived somewhere like the Shetlands or the Outer Hebrides where you need a 4 wheel drive and 5 hours spare to go anywhere , all she had said is that she lived rurally - lots of us do to , we still have a life .

Oriunda · 29/10/2017 14:18

YANBU. We live on outskirts of London and DH bought tickets for a concert at what he thought was at the 02 - an easy journey by tube. Instead it was at Wembley which is an absolute pain to get to for us by tube or a drive on the horrible A406. We had to leave too early and get back too late to be able to get a babysitter, so needed to send DS on a sleepover on a school night, which wasn’t ideal. We went, had a great time, but were still shattered the next day.

That’s us living in London, going to a concert in London. In your case, with your logistics and the fact it’s going to cost you a lot of time and money for something you’re not actually keen on, I wouldn’t go.

Tell your DB the logistics and costs don’t add up. Offer him the tickets back in case he wants to go himself?

deckoff · 29/10/2017 14:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RhiannonOHara · 29/10/2017 14:21

Sure, Rose, pick on one swear word rather than answering the question. Grin

Booie09 · 29/10/2017 14:21

I would tell your Brother the truth! I bet he was well chuffed with himself for getting you tickets for a band you really like! I feel sorry for him to be honest i have a feeling its not the driving thats putting you off you just don't want to go!! Give back the tickets so your Brother can go!

Wilburissomepig · 29/10/2017 14:21

Too many people being arseholes on it.

Oh the irony Grin ...

greendale17 · 29/10/2017 14:22

You sound ungrateful.

An HOUR and a QUARTER?!!! Oh no, call the police!!! That's a daily commute for me!!!
Honestly, if you can't be bothered, which is pretty idiotic, just give them the tickets back.

^This

RhiannonOHara · 29/10/2017 14:23

green, as the OP pointed out to the poster who wrote this, that's just the train journey and it takes nearly an hour on top of that just to get to the station.

I don't quite know any more if people on here are deliberately goading or are genuinely hard of comprehension.

Dashper · 29/10/2017 14:24

I'd be honest.
We're thinking of getting MIL concert tickets for Christmas. However as she is single and doesn't have a car, we've found something she'd like that she can walk/short taxi to and asked her if she'd like to go with a friend before we buy them.

Jellyheadbang · 29/10/2017 14:29

How rural is VERY VERY RURAL???
The UK is pretty small, I can't fathom anywhere that would be such rough terrain for a prolonged part of any journey.
The op seems so angry that I wonder if living so off grid has made them slightly anxious about reintegration into modern society?

VoodooCat · 29/10/2017 14:32

I'm the same. Live rurally, hour and half away from the city but we still go to gigs. DP drives and quite often I'm changing in the car after work. It's part of the fun.

RoseWhiteTips · 29/10/2017 14:35

greendale17

You sound ungrateful.

An HOUR and a QUARTER?!!! Oh no, call the police!!! That's a daily commute for me!!!
Honestly, if you can't be bothered, which is pretty idiotic, just give them the tickets back.

^This

Agreed.

BishopBrennansArse · 29/10/2017 14:36

Don’t fucking go then?

GabsAlot · 29/10/2017 14:39

be carful trying to re sell tickts some concerts are putting restrictions on it now

he obviously thought you would love to go if you love the artist he just didnt think it all through or thought you would make a weekend of it

SilverySurfer · 29/10/2017 14:44

*Itsonkyme(
I KNOW, I KNOW! I KNOW!
*Took ages to think of this!! What a get-out clause!&
You "act" as if you're going! Then on the day have a massive case of the shits, so can't go!
Ring/text bil and sil and tell them bad news.
Sorted!!!! Whadayathink!!!!!!

It would work............!

Except the OP has done that very mature not thing and flounced from her own thread. I fully expect it to be closed soon at her request, MNHQ insisting they had to close it due to her having given too much RL info bullshit Grin

Caulk · 29/10/2017 14:44

My money is on rural Scotland, driving to Oban or Fort William for a concert in Glasgow.

Oblomov17 · 29/10/2017 14:44

If I really wanted to go, I would find a way. You clearly don’t want to go. That much. So, why not just say?

ewen1234 · 29/10/2017 14:49

That's a real shame, especially as its someone you like as well.

If I had bought you the tickets and you were honest with me about not being able to use them I would appreciate the fact that you had told me and at least offered them back as opposed to going behind my back to sell them.

I think you should just say thanks, you really appreciated the gesture and explain why you cant go. Im sure they will understand (and probably feel a bit silly that they hadn't thought it through given your circumstances). It was still a nice thought, but be honest and give them back...

XXXX