To feel a bit pissed off at being given concert tickets?

[Zoeylee]

I know it sounds mad, and I hate myself for thinking this. However, my brother and SIL have given me concert tickets for my birthday, (2 tickets actually, so me and DH can go.) It's for someone I do like (and have done for years.)

Problem is, we are very rural. We are literally 45 to 50 minutes drive from a train station, and the city where the concert is, is another HOUR and a QUARTER journey on the train. (Including having to change trains half way.)

So we are talking about starting out a MINIMUM of 3 hours before the concert starts, as it says on the tickets that the doors open at 6.00pm and it's advisable to get there early. The concert starts with a support act at 7pm... To enable ourselves to get the last train back would involve leaving the concert at 9pm. The main act will probably only just be starting then.

Either that or we stay in a travelodge or premier inn. I have already looked at the date, and because it's a Friday, the cheapest room is £85! This would be on top of the train fares that will cost £70 for the two! So with food and extra bits and bobs, we could be looking at £200.

Driving would be a PITA too, as that would take the best part of two and a half to three hours (five to six hour round-trip,) and would be a ballache, with driving in and around a major city, and car parking and suchlike.

WIBU to sell the tickets on and buy something else? Should I pretend we went to the concert and fake a few photos? Or should I be honest? I feel like such a cow, but these 'free tickets' are going to end up costing us a bleeding fortune! And the thought of all the hassle involved in travelling to this concert, and back (even though I like the act,) is giving me a headache. My brother and SIL meant well, but I don't think they thought it through.

we live very rural and it's rugged and rough terrain Do you live on top of a mountain ?

I would send a quick message, saying thank you so much for the tickets, it was a really lovely present and I do really like (x). But having looked into getting there and back, its not logistically going to work for us (our fault for living in the sticks). Sadface. Can you use the tickets, or shall I try and sell them and return the money to you? Once again, thanks for giving something so nice, gutted I can't make it work.

Christ. Live a little. How old are you, 80?

hippy , lets go together if it’s Squeeze !

Thanks to the people who have given helpful and constructive responses, and I think I will just be honest.

I said I wasn't ungrateful, just that it's too much of a PAIN to go. If I had wanted to go, I'd have bought the tickets myself.

The people giving the shitty responses to me, must all be townies who live 5 minutes walk from a train station, and half hour on the train from major concert venues. Not everyone is in that position! Stop being so bloody nasty.

And as I said, (and a few people seem to have a problem comprehending,) ' I DO NOT WANT TO GO AND I JUST WANTED TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER TO BE HONEST ABOUT IT, OR PRETEND I WENT! So I don't need suggestions on where I could stay and 'making a weekend of it,' or stupid comments like 'Just drive !!' And 'stop being so miserable!' And 'are you actually an adult!' FFS! Some people just love to goad on here!

Hope people have got it now. I DO NOT WANT TO GO.

I have decided to be honest and tell them, and explain why. They can then sell the tickets on, or tell me to.

Hiding this thread now. Too many people being arseholes on it.

Thanks to those that weren't.

@staypuff, no I live on the fucking moon.

Cos in this case you are likely to be asked how it was etc

Clothes you can take the obligatory photo of.

They can't prove you never used the body lotion.

But a concert is just different.

Plus with big names people tend to flog tickets at extortionate prices and doing that with them is a bit unethical. So I do think if money cab be made from these of they can be used it's probably better being given back

12.00! 😱 What insane concerts end at midnight?? Ok, I suppose I tend to see old gimmers (Rod Stewart ended about 10.00) but even younger groups, I've never left a venue after 11.00 and that includes queuing to get out.

It sounds a really thoughtful gift and it's a shame you can't afford to go. I would just tell them and give back the tickets, they may want to go themselves or know someone else who would like to attend. You may or may not receive an alternative present. However, if you lie you may be in for a lifetime of event tickets.

Honesty is the best policy, talk it through with your DB. Make sure you tell him you are grateful for the thought and it is the logistics that are the problem. He might have a suggestion on how to handle the travel, or what to do with the tickets.

I would go. Just drive. Use something like justpark. You'll find somewhere close by to park at a reasonable price. I've used it in several cities £10-20 to park on someone's driveway or secure car park right in city centres, works brilliantly. Sandwiches in the car if you really don't want to eat out.
If it takes 2.5/3 hours to get there it will be less on the way home due to no traffic.

I find country lanes safer at night as you can see the headlights coming the other way which you can't in the day time.

As others have said, you seem very negative, finding faults with every option. If you don't want to go, that fine. Just say you don't want to go. Don't make excuses about it being too hard or a pita to get to and that just makes it seem like you're moaning.

So glad I'm not rural. It sounds hideous.

Ooh yes Squeegle! Dp's very boring to go with and doesn't enjoy concerts unless it's Bryan Ferry 😳

I'd tell them you're sorry but you can't make use of the tickets due to the logistics of travel so would they rather have the tickets themselves or for you to sell them on? That way they can't be angry you haven't used them and can't be angry if you sell them on. Do not lie and pretend you went, that will open you up to years of tickets to things you can't/don't want to go to.

I would send a quick message, saying thank you so much for the tickets, it was a really lovely present and I do really like (x). But having looked into getting there and back, its not logistically going to work for us (our fault for living in the sticks). Sadface. Can you use the tickets, or shall I try and sell them and return the money to you? Once again, thanks for giving something so nice, gutted I can't make it work.

This is the best advice I've seen on here if you can't make the trip work. I would appreciate an honest response like this if I was your sis.

Don't beat about the bush Zoey, do you want to go or not?

@staypuff, no I live on the fucking moon.

Well that clearly explains everything...

He (the dbro) might have a suggestion on how to handle the travel,
That wouldn't be quite helpful fo the OP who has decided that she will not go to the concert.

Actually this would put her in a situation where she would feel even more guilty abiutnot going etc etc.

OP I wouldn't ask your dbro what to do.
I would tell him you cannot go to the concert as it's too expensive to do so for you, even though you really like,that act and it was on paper a wonderful idea.
I would tell him that you are thinking about selling the tickets so someone else can enjoy them or does he have another idea of what to do with the tickets?

I agree with Jasminedes, except I'd phone not message.

There's some real cunts on this thread. I live in London Zone 2 so don't tend to come across these problems, but I have a modicum of brain and sympathy, so I can comprehend and imagine what the OP's issues are. It's not hard.

Zoelee Maybe read my whole post? I went on to say that what suits DH and I doesn't suit everyone and that I agree tickets as gifts aren't ideal for others given the incidental expenses and travel.

I hope you are not that rude to your brother, OP Do you not get on with him because you seem to really resent this gift - I can see that you think it is completely unsuitable for you but the level of resentment is really coming across in your posts!

If you used to live in the town that would be a few quid taxi journey to it, do you not still have friends/family in that town you could ask if you can stay at theirs because you have these tickets, or at very least as if you can park at theirs. (which will make the whole 'driving around the city and finding somewhere to park' issue easier).

Otherwise, I wouldn't pretend you went, call your brother and say while it's a lovely thought, and if you still lived in X town you would have loved this, you can't really get there and back due to how remotely you now live. Would they like the tickets back? If not, you can sell them, but i'd offer them back to your DB first.

(As a side note, if you aren't comfortable with long drives, is living in the middle of nowhere not going to really, really limit your options and make your world rather small? Seems an odd choice if you aren't happy to do complex public transport or long car journeys.)

I'd be honest and say that you will miss the main act.

“Townies”? you sound quite angry op. It was a gift, go or don’t go, that’s fine but you’re practically ranting here and it’s an odd thing to get worked up about

I agree with Mintbiscuit. That is a very thoughtful message. I don't think anyone could take offence at that. Not even me

oh and don't be angry at your brother, he bought you something that previously, you'd have loved. If you have changed so much that this sort of thing is no longer something you can even comprehend coping with, it's not his fault for making you think about how much you have changed.