I've been up all night, he knows why can't he get up

[CompletelyUnknown]

My sinuses have gone to hell. I’ve had a cold for 9 days and last night the sinus headache hit. I actually considered pulling my teeth out with pliers even though I know it’s my sinuses. I googled pressure point, Neti pots etc. If I could have driven somewhere to buy something I would have. I was coughing all night and blowing my nose all night. Don’t even get me started on the clocks changing. Anyway up rolls 6am and DD (13months) wakes and I’m already awake waiting for DH to rouse. When he does I explain I’m on deaths door (exaggeration I know) and haven’t slept. His immediate response is “I haven’t slept and I’ve a sore head”. I swear I went batshit crazy!!! I watched him sleep all night bHe never lets me be unwell without him telling me he’s not well also. I don’t think he even realises it.

On to the AIBU bit. DH does have MS and does suffer, not majorly and for that we are extremely lucky but there are times where it is bad. I make sure he eats, sleeps, takes medication and that DD and DSS give him piece. AIBU for just a little sympathy for a killer cold when he has an incurable disease? I’d take a patronising “there there” a lemsip, anything. He’s now up with DD but I had to guilt him a little. I’m now trying weird pressure points on my face. Argh

LaContessa snap

Yes, Neti pots are gross but great, and when I had a referral to ENT the doctor I spoke to there agreed that they are excellent and recommended I continue with it. Hope you get some relief - is a conversation with the pharmacist possible today?

op I really hope you get better. I had sinus problems earlier this year and went to the gp who did give me antibiotics, which did clear it up, perhaps worth a shot?

Alll men do this.

And I suppose all women love spending lots money on shoes and are bad drivers? Of course not! If all the men you know do this PP then you know a lot of douchebags, it's that simple.

OP have you got a rice cooker? I had a really awful case of sinusitis this time last year and a friend showed me how to fill up a rice cooker with water and a few drops of Olbas Oil then leave it next to the bed on low all night. It was a bloody miracle cure!

I'm in the "all men do this" camp. Well maybe not all men, but an awful lot of them. And my DH isn't a tosser (which hilariously spell checks to toddler!!!), he does lots of great things, he just is utterly rubbish at dealing with me being ill or any other factor that disrupts his 8 hours straight sleep. I can have as many hissy fits as I like about it (I've had many), but he isn't going to change. If he gets disrupted sleep at night he just spends the day (or part of it) in bed. And if he doesn't get to do that he's so grumpy it's not worth having him around. No-one is perfect, that just happens to be his flaw. And all the people claiming that this is tosser DH behaviour don't have perfect DH either, they just aren't disclosing their DH flaws on this post!

Might head out to boots after the painkiller hit. I’ve seen those Neti pots somewhere. I’ve this weird issue with snot though. I can deal with all other bodily fluids and functions but snot is my weakness. 🤢

Haven't RTFT but that sounds like a sinus infection. You need to see a Dr to get antibiotics. Maybe at a walk in?

misses point of thread entirely

they just aren't disclosing their DH flaws on this post!

Correct. Because this post isn't about other people's DH's flaws (of which my DH has plenty but seeing me suffer is not one of them) The objection was to a PP's statement of all men do this which is quite obviously not true.

Facial lymphatic drainage works brilliantly for this ...

My dh loves his sleep and is a pain to get up in the mornings. Last night I had a stomach bug. He constantly checked on me and got up at 5am (bloody clocks) with ds without a fuss.
All men do not do this. Once your dh does get up take yourself back to bed for as long as you need it!

All men do this - they all go to pot when 'mummy' is not well?

God, it's just as well we don't allow them to be doctors or surgeons or anything!

He’s just offered me a “fancy cold tea thing” and is now checking that boots stock Neti pots. It took a couple hours of me huffing/stealing his painkiller for the first time ever for him to realise I wasn’t just moaning over nothing. That’s progress. I think after my major hissy fit a lesson might have been learnt.

I’m going to phone the doctor tomo. I always feel guilty about contacting out of hours as if I’m wasting their time with just a cold even though I know it’s sinusitis.

As for DH this is one of his few flaws. Nobody is perfect or has a perfect relationship. Unfortunately it’s a difficult situation that we’re in. I feel guilty about being ill as it doesn’t compare to what he’s going through most days. I have to hope I get my bugs on his good days.

I don't think that anyone who has not suffered with sinuses understands tbh.
You have my utmost sympathy op.
I inadvertently found that the best painkiller is alcohol. Otc painkillers were useless.

I'm in the "all men do this" camp. Well maybe not all men, but an awful lot of them

How on earth can you possibly think this is true? There are 7.6 billion people in the world and just over half of them are male. Have you personally witnessed every single one of them being a selfish idiot when their partner is ill? I realise this sounds ridiculously picky but everyday sexism doesn't just apply to women. If you have a son, do you really want them growing up and being dismissed in sweeping and inaccurate - generalisations like this?

OP - YANBU. Is it worth (obviously when you feel better) sitting down with your OH and explaining to him what you have told us here, and how it makes you feel? He sounds like he is being unconsciously thoughtless rather than deliberately uncooperative. Hope you feel better soon.

I suffer with sinus headaches frequently. Sinutab doesn't touch my sinus headaches. Best thing for me is Neurofen Cold and Flu - the one that is behind the counter at Pharmacy.

Steam when meds start to wear off before you can next set. If you can, don't bend down as pressure in head worse, you need to bend at knees keeping head up. I often pick things up with my feet!

You need boots own brand max strength sinus pressure and pain relief tablets
I suffer so badly with sinuses it’s the one thing that works

That’s decided then. I’m going to have a steamy shower and head to boots. My husband gave me one of his lovely super strength cocodamol that he gets for his nerve pain (he could get some lovely strong pain killers but he refuses to get them yet). I feel it starting to ease off.

The bending over part is not so easily avoided when DH is a little wobbly and DD is a full scale fidgety mess today. Apparently I don’t sound like mummy so she’s looking at me weird and crawling away.

I’ll sit him down and speak with him. I worry I’m just constantly telling him off. Recently he’s been having a tough time with his dx and friends deteriorating that’s made him slightly grumpy.

As for the alcohol, I had a gin, didn’t make me feel better which disappointed me as I love gin. Maybe need to try a different type of gin as that bottle is almost empty. Also open to suggestions on that! I tend to go for a different brand each time.

Sinus pain is the absolute pits. Do you think they might be infected? If so try to get an out of hours GP appointment. It's also worth trying a homemade nasal wash; dissolve a teaspoon of salt and one of bicarbonate of soda in a pint of boiling water, allow to cool. Lean over the sink, scoop up a cupped hand of the solution and sniff it up your nose one nostril at a time, repeat until you feel relief. It's gross but does help.

Ugh, sinus pain is grim.

I picked up a leaflet for NeilMed sinus rinse at my local ENT dept. I got mine at Boots in coughs & colds dept, & it does work. I use it as soon as the congestion starts. Likely you can pick one up later today.

www.boots.com/neilmed-sinus-rinse-kit-10077009

YouTube has some useful clips of folks using NeilMed sinus rinse - for technique & a laugh. .

Sinus pain - snot funny.

Pathetic to hear a barrage of "not all men" excuses. The truth is that males generally do not give a shit when faced with a situation that calls for them to put someone other than themselves first.

OP - your husband needs to pull his pants up and stop using his MS to play the victim all the time.

Snot funny 😂😂😂

I actually considered pulling my teeth out

Won't work. Only decapitation will help you now

It's not a man thing, it's a lazy, self-centred thing.

The truth is that males generally do not give a shit when faced with a situation that calls for them to put someone other than themselves first.

Poor you, if your only experience of 'males' is that. Perhaps you need to raise your standards?

I could be you in that I also suffer regularly from dreadful bouts of sinus problems and my dh has MS BUT he couldn't be more unlike your dh. He suffers with a lot of ms related pain yet he never complains and if I'm in the least bit unwell or in pain he looks after me and does everything he can to help. This morning, just like he does every morning , he brought me up a cup of tea and my breakfast in bed, even though he's actually off work atm due to a relapse (th he's starting to recover after a 5 day hospital course of I.V steroids). He always thinks of me and puts me first and even more so when I'm sick. He's not perfect by any means but he really cares for me and our kids. So your dhs crap attitude is nothing to do with his MS or being male, it's just him. So please don't colour every man with MS the same, they really aren't, your dh is just a bit selfish I'm afraid. I hope you feel better soon, sinus pain is dreadful .