AIBU to ask a guy who lives 200 miles away on a date?

[JoyceByers]

We matched on a dating app about three months ago; he was in my area visiting and a glitch in the app meant we appeared to still be in the same city the day after.

He gave me his number after I offered him mine and is always happy to chat if I message him but never gets in touch of his own accord. I think he’s a bit shy but he could just be polite yet disinterested.

There’s a chance I’m going to be in his city for work in a few weeks and I could possibly go the day before and stay over so was thinking of suggesting meeting up for a coffee.

I’ve been unsuccessfully doing online dating on and off for two years and he seems so much better than any of the local guys I’ve matched with BUT I’m not sure he’s interested or even if he were that there would be much point as he’s so far away...

Worth a try :)

But please tell someone like a friend where and when you are meeting him if you do. Especially as you will be away from home!!

YANBU, but be safe. A similar glitch happened to me 10 years ago and we have just celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary

He certainly sounds pleasant and polite. Why is he 'better' than the others? Supposing you met up and it was good - what then?

Have you been generally chatting for the last 3 months, or was it a few exchanges and then quiet?

If you're there for work I can't see that it would be a problem to tell him you're in the area. See what happens. But bear in mind that his circumstances may have changed.

Why bother? Seriously, think about this. If you like him, how often could you realistically see him?

Similar glitch happened to me. Him in Ireland and me in Scotland. We are now engaged and getting married next year!

Thank you! Blondielongie I always let my two best friends know who/ when I’m dating and I’ve looked him up on LinkedIn etc so am fairly sure he’s genuine...

Congratulations on your anniversary
JohnLapsleyParlabane

grumpysquash3 we’ve chatted regularly over the last three months, always at my instigation but he keeps up the conversation on his side too. He seems really clever and interesting and funny in his messages, has similar interests too. If we met up and it went well... I don’t know!

Wow! Congratulations notevenamum1 that’s great

MyBrilliantDisguise I’m not sure how often I could see him which is one of the things that puts me off... that and the fact that I tried moving to his city about ten years ago and it didn’t work out. I’m not sure his job exists outside his city either.

*Happy to chat but never of his own accord
*
In that case, I wouldn't bother with him at all.

Just do it. Whilst being safe obviously.

Thank you Botanicbaby and Dafspunk I think if the trip’s confirmed tomorrow I’ll just send a brief message asking if he’d like to meet for a coffee...

If he declines I can put it out of my mind and if he accepts it’s just a quick meeting.

I think you're being sensible joyce and if he declines, you haven't lost anything. Have fun :)

I asked him and he said yes! It’s a few weeks away yet but I’m looking forward to it

Same here- North East and South West in our case, first date seven years ago, we are married with a baby now 😊. Have fun!

We didn't meet through a dating app but DH and I lived 250 miles apart when we had our first date! It's our 5th anniversary this year and in that time we've got married, had a baby, and are expecting another!

Good luck!