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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be this worried about giving DS his mmr jab.

49 replies

QueenNefertitty · 28/10/2017 22:40

Disclaimer- I'm not anti-vax, and DS is up to date with all immunisations.

After EVERY immunisation, DS has had awful fevers of over 39- but this is standard for him with any virus or illness - he just blazes like a furnace. It's caused us no end of worry (admitted to hospital three times this year because his fever was over 40, and he was mottled and had rigors).

He is due his mmr any time now- but because he's had SUCH a run of illnesses recently (mix of bacterial and viral, back to back, for 6 weeks) and is teething quite horrendously, I've decided to delay the mmr for a couple of weeks at least. I'm thinking maybe even until the week before Christmas, so that if he does his usual scary temperature reaction, I can be at home with him (I'm a single parent, work full time, DS in nursery, one day a week with Grandma, no additional childcare from family or friends possible if he's ill).

But there's a bit of me that is also just really really worried about this one. I know that the link with MMR has been rubbished. I know that the study was flawed. I know that there is no proven link between the mmr jab and autism... so why is this one giving me the Heebie Jeebies and got me googling vaccine injury rates...

AIBU to be this worried about something I KNOW is scientifically no more likely to cause injury than any of the other jabs I happily gave him?

OP posts:
usernameinfinito · 28/10/2017 22:42

Go with your instict OP. No one can tell you what to do on this one.

Original poster
QueenNefertitty · 28/10/2017 22:43

Also, this is not a goady fucker post, and goady fuckers coming here to goad will be fucked right off.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 28/10/2017 22:46

Not going to be a goady fucker! That's unhelpful and I worried about DS with this one. He had his before the scare stories were debunked.
I wouldn't give it if he's unwell. Wait if you need to BUT if he's poorly from any virus etc think how I'll he could be if he caught one of those illnesses. I had measles and German measles as a child. (Couldn't be vaccinated.) Not nice.

Socksey · 28/10/2017 22:48

My little boy always had these temperatures.... starting about 12 hours post immunisation.... I used just take the day off work after them and we snuggled on the sofa.... gave him lots of drinks and snuggles and the fevers passed within 24hrs...

wheresthel1ght · 28/10/2017 22:48

I get your worries about being ill afterwards, so maybe have a chat with your GP about how to manage the extreme reaction.

That said, mmr is a vital vaccine for your son, measles and rubella can kill. Mumps can leave boys infertile.

There is absolutely no risk from having it causing any long term conditions but not having it could do. You need to weigh up whether your feeling anxious is a bigger priority than his life.

Also is your anxiety about him spiking a temp or innocuous links that have been proven to be fiction?

stella23 · 28/10/2017 22:48

No yanbu, my ds had a reaction to a couple of immunisations, he get very hot and hallucinates, so actively giving him something that I know will cause short term problems doesn't make me feel great. However it's the long term to look at.
Having when you are able to work from home is a good solutions to part of the problem

Fettuccinecarbonara · 28/10/2017 22:48

If you're worried, delay it.

Ds was a very allergic/intolerant baby, and dropped right down through the percentiles. I didn't want anything makingbher poorly/hospitalising her. I just refused the mmr.

I knew deep down the refusal wouldn't be forever, just until I felt her tiny body was bigger. She eventually had it just before she went to school.

Herd immunity works. It protects the vulnerable; the babies who are unvaccinated; the elderly; the immunocompromised. For now, your DS is one of those. He can stay unvaccinated (and vulnerable) until you are content he is old enough, and robust enough, to join the herd.

Socksey · 28/10/2017 22:49

Btw.... he's had all his immunizations.. .. the last one wasn't as bad.... but some of the early ones had him hit 41C a few times....

Original poster
QueenNefertitty · 28/10/2017 22:49

@wolfie - ha! No I just know vax threads can often go a bit wrong...

That's the other side of my thinking too- seeing him shitting blood and rocking fevers of 40+ with a double whammy of bacterial tonsillitis and Noro was rotten enough. Can't imagine seeing him with one of the "bad" diseases.

Damned if you do.... Confused

OP posts:
CycleHire · 28/10/2017 22:49

I understand your worry with his history with fevers etc but there’s no particular reason to think it will be worse with Mmr. Obviously be extra careful that he doesn’t preach have a fever or is under the weather. Ask your doctor’s advice if your’re not sure. Do remember that if he caught one of those diseases it would be very serious. Take care and good luck.

stella23 · 28/10/2017 22:50

This video always makes me feel better.
Warning there's swearing
m.youtube.com/watch?v=RfdZTZQvuCo

Original poster
QueenNefertitty · 28/10/2017 22:52

Thanks all.

Sorry- this isn't a drip feed- to whoever said about anxiety- you are of course right. And I did suffer a particularly nasty bout of post partum anxiety at about 6mo pp, so I do tend towards an anxious response to anything like this.

I worry mostly about the fevers not for their own sake (I know they're usually harmless), but because in this case they have, in some few cases, been linked to proven vaccine injuries due to seizures, encephalitis etc.

OP posts:
Bubblysqueak · 28/10/2017 22:53

Yanbu but personally I wouldn't delay for too long (obviously wait until he is well as I doubt they would give it while I'll anyway) but there have been 12 cases of measles in my area in the last month so I wouldn't delay too long.

Firenight · 28/10/2017 22:55

It’s fine to delay until you feel he and you can cope with the after effects.

Original poster
QueenNefertitty · 28/10/2017 22:59

Thank you all for being understanding - he will have it - and sooner than later. I think I'll talk to his GP though so I can take a measured view of when to do it... hoping a couple of months won't make much difference. The other reason I say Christmas, is that DS father will be staying with us for the festive season, so at least I'll have some support if his reaction is more than mild (merry christmas! Hmm )

Off to snuggle in bed with the anxiety-provoking angel now - but I'll be interested to read any more insights anyone else can offer in the morning - and very happy to
be told I'm being OTT Smile

OP posts:
redcaryellowcar · 28/10/2017 23:02

I think other posters suggestions of talking to your gp are very sensible. The other option is to look at having measles vaccine privately?

Wolfiefan · 28/10/2017 23:04

Also if he reacted badly when he was younger and better to more recent ones then maybe he would be better this time?!
We have a measles outbreak round here. Glad mine had the vaccination but I would delay if he's not well. And having an extra pair of hands available if his temperature does spike could be helpful.
Stupid idea alert! How soon after vaccine does it happen? Safe (ask medical advice) or worth giving Calpol before?
I have anxiety too so I get it. They're our babies. Of course we worry.

WildRosesGrow · 28/10/2017 23:06

I understand your reluctance - the vaccinations do tend to lead to children having a temperature, which is worrying and waiting until you're able to be around to deal with this sound sensible.

In terms of the safety of the vaccinations overall, over 500 million doses of MMR have been used in over 90 countries around the world since the early 1970s. This is about the biggest sample size you can get. No study has shown a link between the MMR vaccine and autism. With a worldwide sample this large, if there were a link, then it would have been identified.

I'm one of the small percentage of people forwhom some vaccines don't work. I had the rubella vaccine when I was a teenager but was found not to be immune when I was pregnant with my first child. If I had come into contact with a child with rubella, then my baby could have been badly affected. Fortunately as most children are immunised the chances were low. So I would like to thank everyone who vaccinates their children, as it provides protection for all of us from diseases that can be far from minor, in some circumstances.

RavingRoo · 28/10/2017 23:07

Where are you? My area is having a bit of a mini Rubella epidemic right now - a few schools were closed, and letters sent out demanding immunisation and warning parents. The GP surgey has even posted warnings asking anyone with Rubella to stay at home and request a house visit as they won’t be seen. We had one for Measles a while back.

Witchend · 28/10/2017 23:07

Ds reacted really badly to his first set of jabs. Second set he was again really ill with temperature of 40 for over 3 days.
Because of that they split the third set of jabs up, and he also didn't have them until 12 months because he kept getting ear infections and because of the history of reacting they wanted to make sure he was totally well.
So he had the third set of jabs split up one a month at 12, 13 and 14 months. He reacted to them all.

He then had the MMR at 15 months and wasn't even slightly grotty.

Anditstartsagain · 28/10/2017 23:25

It's very upsetting taking your child to be vaccinated knowing it will likely make them feel ill it goes against your instincts to protect them i think. My first got all of his jabs no problem never bothered one bit but ds2 has had temperatures sickness and been generally crappy after everyone it is horrible but necessary.

Ds2 was very unwell to the point my usually very capible mum asked me to leave work and come home to him never in 10 years as a grandparent has she ever asked that but 12 hours later he was 100% fine full if life and most importantly safe.

Leamington99 · 28/10/2017 23:39

I think it’s worth getting the vaccine and even though he might get a fever, he will be grateful for it long term.

Book it for a time where you can be around to look after him and just assume he’ll get a fever so you can prepare just in case. Get him some special treats/toys so he isn’t miserable. It will be over soon.

holdthewine · 28/10/2017 23:40

One thing to remember, which my GP pointed out to me when mine were little, is that if they get ill from the a dead vaccine, imagine how much more they’d react to the real thing. This was after my DS had developed a fever and measles rash after the measles jab (pre MMR introduction).

I had measles very badly and I think my DS would have too. We are a very allergic and over-reactive family but actually that means we really need protecting!

MsPavlichenko · 28/10/2017 23:51

It might be that his reaction is reduced as he is older/bigger. My DD was really miserable with the early ones, but much better with MMR.

Best speak to your GP as others have said. To the pp who talked of Herd Immunity. Yes, you are correct, but it only works on the basis of the majority going with the recommended advice. To vaccinate if suitable, or not if suggested otherwise. Not on individual decisions by parents for example as you appear to be suggesting.

Not directed at you OP. Your reasons for delaying sound valid, and you should discuss further.

Pythonesque · 29/10/2017 00:27

Agree absolutely with your plan to talk with your GP about timing. Also, I've lost track of the current vaccine schedules but it is possible that your son is reacting badly to one or two particular vaccines rather than all of them (because the first sets of vaccines include boosters for the same diseases) so it is not inevitable that he will do the same with MMR. MMR is a different type of vaccine, also, so I'd guess theres a high chance his immune system will respond a bit differently to it.

Hope you can find the right time to do the next vaccines with him, and fingers crossed you have less of a reaction to them. Much better to plan for the worst and it turn out better.

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