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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband's painting

106 replies

restofthetimes · 26/10/2017 12:30

DH has been saying we can't afford to re-do our front garden for 9 years now. It has been tricky to get quotes in from reliable people, and its a massive space - about 1/2 acre. Its quite a wilderness and I want to basically pull it all up and grass it, and also re-cover the drive, which is quite long.
Well, he has quite a lot of assets eg wine, and today I found out that a small nude oil painting we have in our bedroom is by a rather famous artist (Bernard Dunstan) and worth around £10k.
This would probably pay for the front garden.
AIBU to get him to sell it? He's saying no way, as he is in love with the painting and he looks at it every day. I like it, but thinking about that money........ we could easily put up with a print or unknown artist instead.

OP posts:
TheHodgeoftheHedge · 26/10/2017 13:23

Why can't you sell the wine instead of the painting then?

littlepeas · 26/10/2017 13:23

Keep the painting. Not sure what to advise re garden, but I wouldn't sell art to fund it. It sounds like your garden would cost more than £10k anyway.

Original poster
restofthetimes · 26/10/2017 13:23

An oil painting is 3D so a scan won't work (although I hadn't thought of that one!)

OP posts:
NinonDeLenclos · 26/10/2017 13:24

You can hire a digger, it's actually really fun.

LondonHuffyPuffy · 26/10/2017 13:25

Please, PLEASE don't attempt to scan the painting!

Emilybrontescorsett · 26/10/2017 13:25

I think Rwhites has the right idea with scanning the original painting and selling the original.
I'd go further though and sell some of the wine and replace it with bottles of cheap wine. Cover it in dust and he will never know.
I think it is ridiculous to have a pigstye of a front garden when you have the means to name it look beautiful.

KarateKitten · 26/10/2017 13:26

OP, you don't have to justify wanting to pay someone to do the work. Overgrown gardens are serious labour not just people pottering around with a secateurs. To be as polite as possible most posters won't have ever been responsible for a half acre garden that needs professional clearance and redesign. You are a SAHM but equally you have a right to request that family budget is diverted to think that matter to you. Does your DH have any interest in doing the garden? Could it be done in chunks of work? We lifted and grassed yards, and restructured our property bit by bit since we bought it a few years ago but it will be a lifetime of work to change it from a working farm to a house and gardens. Luckily my DH loves the property and potential gardens as much as I do.

EvelynWardrobe · 26/10/2017 13:26

I did a garden smaller than yours singlehandedly and would never do it again. It took AGES and was really really hard work. However, that was because access for machinery was impossible.

What I would do with decent access would be to hire a mini digger and rotavator and just machine the fuck out of it. Bonfires as you go, or lots of trips to the dump. Grass will grow easily from seed, and you can lay a gravel drive on top of weed membrane without needing to do anything as fancy as tarmac etc.

ConciseandNice · 26/10/2017 13:26

Do you own lots of 1930s Chateau Haut Brion? Otherwise it's better off holding onto it. Wine is an investment but a really slow-burning one and presumably you have a wine cellar or at least the right conditions for such quantities of fine wine which you have to be called an asset? I think YABU to make him sell the painting also.

NinonDeLenclos · 26/10/2017 13:26

Can people please stop with the scanning bollocks. It's absurd.

Santawontbelong · 26/10/2017 13:26

Op you seriously underestimate the chicken. . .

Tilapia · 26/10/2017 13:27

You were not unreasonable to suggest selling the painting, he's not unreasonable to refuse. But as it is his painting that he bought before you met then he gets the final decision.

Can you come up with a budget between you, setting aside some money each year (not just yours - family money) and put it in a special account to pay for the garden?

OverinaFlash · 26/10/2017 13:28

Do you know that you can't afford to do the garden or is that just what your DH says because he doesn't want to spend the money on it? Since the garden is a family garden, and presumably DH's salary is family money, how long would it take to save up to be able to afford it?

teaandtoast · 26/10/2017 13:28

Imo, grass is the least labour saving thing in the garden. Shrubs are the way to go. Once in, they'll need pruning and feeding but not mowing every week in summer.

Could you make a plan or save up for a landscape gardener to plan, whilst leaving the rhododendrons and holly in place? And any other decent shrubs. Maybe not the bamboo, unless it's a non-invasive variety.
Honestly, look at what you've got, save what you can and plan around it. Probably cost you a lot less money and you could do it in stages.

NorthCoast · 26/10/2017 13:28

I'd sell the wine rather than the painting. DH collects whisky and if we were ever desperate, that would go before my grandmother's jewellery, which I see myself as just looking after before it goes to my niece.

FlowerPot1234 · 26/10/2017 13:28

DH has been saying we can't afford to re-do our front garden for 9 years now. It has been tricky to get quotes in from reliable people, and its a massive space - about 1/2 acre.

In 9 years I think you could have found a reliable person to quote you, or why don't you do it yourself/selves?

seagreengirl · 26/10/2017 13:28

Bernard Dunstan is a wonderful artist and if I was lucky enough to own one of his paintings I would never sell it to do up the garden. I would look at it every day too, and leave it to my favorite child Smile

And, as London has already said, he recently died so the value will increase.

NinonDeLenclos · 26/10/2017 13:29

What I would do with decent access would be to hire a mini digger and rotavator and just machine the fuck out of it. Bonfires as you go, or lots of trips to the dump. Grass will grow easily from seed, and you can lay a gravel drive on top of weed membrane without needing to do anything as fancy as tarmac etc.

You can also hire a leveller, after which you can buy turf in squares which you just roll out.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/10/2017 13:29

I'm just eyeing up my Asda Rioja in the wine rack ......

Original poster
restofthetimes · 26/10/2017 13:30

Slightly encouraging that people think I could tackle it.
I could work with the gardener to achieve change slowly.
But I could make it even worse and we have a digger out there for 10 months.
Re. selling wine - I've not really broached that yet.....

OP posts:
TheHodgeoftheHedge · 26/10/2017 13:30

hahahaha if chickens won't work you could try goats ;) they literally will eat their way through everything.

Bluntness100 · 26/10/2017 13:31

Wine is totally an asset and many people invest in certain vintages and varieties and their cellar then escalates in value over the years, if bought well, substantially escalates. She doesn’t mean a few bottles from Aldi.

I wouldn’t sell the painting either, and would see that as a long term investment, I’d put a plan in place for saving for the garden.

LondonHuffyPuffy · 26/10/2017 13:32

NinonDeLenclos "Can people please stop with the scanning bollocks. It's absurd"

Yes. THIS!

Jasminedes · 26/10/2017 13:32

You can't make him sell it, it's not fair. But you could make a plan together about the garden.

  1. Jobs you can start asking the gardener to prioritise
  2. Getting into a maintenance routine the two of you can manage
  3. A saving plan for the driveway.
  4. Plants and trees you definitely want to remove might as well go now to save you keep cutting them back.
  5. But if you don't know what you are doing, get a garden lover to help you plan, in case you get rid of helpful established plants and landscaping that others will love.
Original poster
restofthetimes · 26/10/2017 13:36

We've had a couple of people in to discuss the garden, but I really don't know what I want and what will look nice and inoffensive, in keeping etc.
Once chosen, I wouldn't know how to start.
The area we are in, most people can drop £15k on their garden without giving it a thought, so contractors etc aren't that interested in us when we try to do it low cost. And don't know what we want. We're horrible clients, clearly.

OP posts:
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