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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

my sisters (im so done)

71 replies

mammabear27 · 26/10/2017 10:40

ok so all my life my sister have been a nightmare, they were always ganging up on me and just making me feel very uncomfortable in my own skin, ok so fast forward to now, my mom made us have a family meeting to clear the air and try and get things back on track for her sake (fine id do anything for my mom) anyway this meeting ended in me getting hit from both my sisters leaving me with bruises, anything i was saying wasn't good enough i could stand on my head and it wouldn't be enough for them!
Im nearly 30 and have my own little family i have an amazing partner who would do anything for me (my sisters do'nt like him mainly because he stands up for me) and I have a young child who has additional needs so my life is busy, but we are very happy.
is it wrong that i no longer what my sisters in my life? I don't want them to play any part in my upcoming wedding either ( as I feel they will just try and ruin my special day)
i really need the advise! sorry for the long post

OP posts:
Monkeypuzzle32 · 26/10/2017 10:43

no, YANBU cut them out-hitting you at this age is ridiculous and would be termed domestic abuse!
Carry on in your own happy life and have nothing further to do with them, they toxic and jealous.

millmoo · 26/10/2017 10:44

Was your mum present whilst they were hitting you ????

GreatStar · 26/10/2017 10:44

Violence ... no way. You're so dome with them.

butterfly56 · 26/10/2017 10:44

You have every right to have no contact with these two bullies and not to invite them to the wedding. What does your mum think about their behaviour?

Travis1 · 26/10/2017 10:46

They physically assaulted you? I'd have phoned the police and would I fuck have them anywhere near me or my child.

Original poster
mammabear27 · 26/10/2017 10:57

thanks for your advise, i just felt like maybe i was wrong for wanting to cut them from my life, yeah my mom had to step in, shes applauded over their behavior, but she is still there for them as they are her children. my partner is furious that i have been treated like this.

OP posts:
EBearhug · 26/10/2017 11:01

They hit you so you have bruises? Did you go to the police about assault?

It's not wrong to not want people like this in your life.

Original poster
mammabear27 · 26/10/2017 11:04

I didn't report assault for my mom sake, i refuse to have them around my child.
my mom thinks this will all just blow over and we will all be friends again because i would normally do anything to keep the peace (I'm a lover not a fighter) but this time they went to far and i have my own little family to think about now!

OP posts:
Fishface77 · 26/10/2017 11:07

Don't let these bitches come to your wedding.

PeggySueOooOo · 26/10/2017 11:07

I have cut my sister out of my life. It was hard at first with the rest of my family but it was the best thing I ever did.

You are not wrong for wanting bullies who hit you out of your life.

BarbarianMum · 26/10/2017 11:10

Do you think your mum has your best interests at heart?

Original poster
mammabear27 · 26/10/2017 11:12

Thanks PeggySueOooOo I don't know why I'm the one feeling bad for deciding I don't want them around me after all I done nothing wrong, they always try make out I am a selfish person but in reality I have done so much for my family I'm the one that will always put so much thought into presents and if they ever need anything all they had to do was ask, I was a complete push over!

OP posts:
diddl · 26/10/2017 11:12

Invite someone who has thumped you to your wedding?

Of course you shouldn't.

Will your mum still attend without them?

I would say it's fine to never have anything to do with them ever again.

What the hell is wrong with them?

user1497357411 · 26/10/2017 11:12

I think maybe it would be a good idea to talk to the police. Your sisters should know that hitting someone is assault and not ok.

GetTheStartyParted · 26/10/2017 11:13

My sister's and I have turbulent relationships and there have been a few times that one or two of us are not talking to the others. My mum has left us to it as she respects that we are adults and you cannot force a friendship. If any of them hit another then there would be no going back.

Even without the violence you shouldn't feel bad for putting yourself and your family first, your sisters don't deserve to be a part of that.

Oh and when my partner stood up for me, they claimed he was controlling me Hmm
I hope you can move forward without feeling guilty.

Original poster
mammabear27 · 26/10/2017 11:13

I do think my mom has my best interest at heart, as I have been the one supporting her through her divorce and I bring her to all her hospital appointments, so I would like to think she is looking out for me

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 26/10/2017 11:15

She's looking out for you by insisting you meet with people who:

  1. Don't like you
  2. Verbally abuse you
  3. Assault you

Are you sure? Don't you think maybe she's got her own best interests at heart here?

emmcan · 26/10/2017 11:22

You hit the nail on the head with your own little family and your wonderful partner. You have your family. The one you got to choose. Now you can also have the one that you choose not to have. Dump the ugly sisters and spend your life going to the ball in the big pumpkin or...I forget how it goes, but you get the point...

theEagleIsLost · 26/10/2017 11:22

I do think my mom has my best interest at heart

I think she wants her children to get on. I think this is leading her to ignore or minimise or excuse the behaviour that is making this impossible.

I'm sure she loves you but I think she putting her needs and wants above want is best for you – perhaps it’s just too painful of her to accept.

I wouldn’t have them at the wedding – but I also think you’ll have to accept your mother will be upset by that and still hold firm.

BewareOfDragons · 26/10/2017 11:23

Your mum is allowing your sisters to mentally and physically abuse you, and you think she has your best interests at heart?

Oh honey. She just wants her image of her family to stand ... and to hell with your personal well being

diddl · 26/10/2017 11:23

No, your mum was only thinking of herself.

If you all get on with her she should leave it at that.

What has she ever done over the years to stop them treating you badly?

I'm guessing nothing by the fact that they seemed to both think that it was acceptable to assault you in her presence.

ptumbi · 26/10/2017 11:24

I am NC with my sister for about 10 years. It's great. BUT - my mum (who I do get on with) has started with the 'but she's your sister' , 'I don't like to see sisters not getting on', and even 'Do it for meeee'.

I am considering going LC with her too, as she can't/won't see that my sister is toxic, immature, selfish and violent (verbal rather than physical).

I would certainly not invite her (sister) to my wedding. Full stop.

I don't care how much 'family drama' there would be.

ptumbi · 26/10/2017 11:25

Oh - and I supported her through her divorce (25 years ago now ); the only one of us 3 kids that did.

Yet she takes my sister side and expects me to 'forgive and forget' for her sake?

steff13 · 26/10/2017 11:28

Where was your mom when you were growing up and they were ganging up on you, etc.? She really should have nipped that behavior in the bud.

onalongsabbatical · 26/10/2017 11:32

Love, they hit you! If someone came up to you in the street and hit you, you'd call the police, right? Because it's unlawful to use physical violence on another person. Just because they're your sisters doesn't give them any reason or excuse. Seriously, take care of yourself, and think about reporting them for assault. Of course your mum would like you all to get on, but they're the ones causing this, not you. Flowers