Should I make DH lunch?

[HoppityHopHop]

So DH and I have a baby and are struggling a lot with money lately. We are going to sit down tonight and prioritise what the money is spent on etc etc.
Now, he is very lazy and most of the time ends up buying himself lunch from the shop because he can’t be bothered to make a sarnie. This could end up costing roughly a fiver or so a day depends on what he gets which adds up to a fair bit over time.
I spoke to him on the phone earlier about sorting our money out and being sensible, and he said well you should make me lunch then I won’t have to buy it.
I felt quite cheesed off by this because he’s quite bloody capable of doing it himself, for God’s sake it’s some ham in 2 bits of bread! Anyway I told him as much and he ended up making me feel guilty because I don’t work (since having DD) so basically I should be doing all the housework and food etc.

AIBU to think that he should do it himself? Or am I being selfish and petty over nothing? Probably as I don’t get out much anymore

I hate packed lunches - have never made them for DCs as they always had school lunches.

However, both DH and I are in relatively new jobs that do not provide food, along with DD at uni.

I now produce 3 packed lunches a day and am quite proud of my efforts, lol. I bought compartmentalised lunch boxes, so do a salad and fruit, as well as the savoury.

I don't have a problem with making DH's lunch. I am quite puzzled as to the hostility towards that notion. I prefer me to make it for the three of us rather than him.

No hostility per say, it’s the assumption that the op should be making his that I object to. He could have said “yeah let’s see how much of a difference packed lunches make and I’ll do yours when I make my own” - but nope. She should make his.

I really don't get the issue. You have more time at home than him.
Can't you/whoever cooks just make an extra portion of dinner and take leftovers?

It's just a bit of lunch.

I make DP's lunch every day as I do DD's the night before she goes to the childminder. He's out of the house before 6am and not home until nearly 8pm. A few extra minutes to make a couple of sandwiches doesn't bother me

I've done Dps sandwiches most mornings for months as I've been on maternity leave. I usually throw it together whilst making my breakfast. Our routine has been he has the baby first thing while I have breakfast in peace and shower, so making a quick sandwich is a good tradeoff. The difference being, he does not expect it and appreciates it.

Your DHs behaviour seems selfish and horrible.

Just make him a bloody sandwich, it only takes a minute but saves you a fiver! I lovingly make my DH heart shaped ones every day.

I bet that goes down well with the lads at work.

Can't you compromise? DH works ft and I work MTTF. We find it easier doing pack ups the night before and take it in turns.

I find it a real pain because dh likes so much in the sandwich that it gets time consuming. For that reason we share the load.

If you really find this too time consuming, can he opt for something else instead? How about soup? You can pick up tins for fairly cheap and it requires no prep just make sure you have a microwaveable container for him.

I’m a sahm too. When my partner expected me to make his lunch for him, I didn’t. So if I had made him his lunch and then the next day he said ‘I’ll have cheese and ham for tomorrow’ I wouldn’t bloody make it.

As soon as he started seeing it as his own responsibility, I have no problem making his lunch for him. Not that I do it everyday. Or even every week.

I can’t stand the man children on here. I don’t know how people put up with it.

Could he not make the sandwich the night before, leave it in the fridge? Most of the time I can't be bothered, and make them in morning, but I hardly ever make one for dh as he leaves before me. If I do happen to be up when he's here I make him one along with kids and mine.

Give him the baby at the weekend and make a batch of sandwiches. Take 5 hours to make them and have no interaction with him or baby.

BTW you ARE working, you are looking after your (both of you) child.

What on earth possessed you to have a baby with this overgrown man child?

I don't think I've ever been quite so surprised at a MN thread. Your partner says 'You SHOULD make me my lunch' and the mass consensus is that you're UR not to be doing so already? What sort of weird 1950s thread is this?!

If you wanted to do it and had offered to do so, then fine. But saying you SHOULD WANT to do it? I don't understand that at all. It's up with 'You should want to stay at home with the children forever' and 'You should want to please me sexually' in my book, and would get a flat NO for the same reason.

As an aside, he's a lazy selfish cunt if he leaves you to be the only one who cares about budgeting and making things financially work for the family.

I may be being harsher than usual in my language (not a morning person) but hopefully you get the gist

I'm with LaContessa

It's not about the lunch. It's about the cuntish way in which he demanded that she should make it for him.

Maybe you could cook extra dinner and send him in with leftovers? Is that a thing in the UK? I often have leftovers for lunch, but then I work from home. Where my DH works they provide a decent buffet lunch for everyone as well as a barista even, who makes a pretty good coffee, so he's happy

Is it really about who will take a minute to make a sandwich or do you have an ongoing argument about something and the sandwich is the battleground because it's a symptom of something?

Tell him to make extra dinner and take leftovers. Much more tasty than a sandwich.

Maybe you and the woman on the 'should I make DH breakfast' thread should have a chat?

Hey OP, I have one of yours at home, we can afford to buy lunch out but I feel it's an awful waste of money. My compromise is when I make the evening meal the night before I make extra, it isn't hard to throw in an extra handful of pasta or chicken breast and dish up three portions. Whatever we eat for dinner he has for lunch the next day. He is usually the envy of his colleagues when he has a lovely cooked lunch and there is zero effort.
Oh and to justify to the MNetters who ask if I make dinner every day too, then yes. Because a) I work from home B) I love cooking c) I get to choose what we eat every day!

I'd do it but he'd get some fucking interesting lunches. Doubt he'd last more than a week before seeing the error of his ways tbh

compromise, you know how hard or not he works and how hard you work, balance it on that.
I am a SAHM temporarily and i get up with my DP in the morning just to make him coffee and sandwiches, he never asked nor expects it but I am a morning person and he isn't. I enjoy it and do it with love.

and do like a PP says and maybe he can buy 1 day, make himself another day and that leave 3 days you can hep him.