Touchy feely woman - I think I was rude

[florapearl]

A woman I see regularly in various contexts has a bit of a touching habit. She has rubbed my thighs, strokes my arms and puts her hand on my back, just where my bra fastens.

I have tried jokingly asking her to stop but it didn't work so yesterday I told her to stop touching me, it made me really uncomfortable. She looked really upset.

I don't know. Today I don't feel so good about it.

Would you have doubted yourself, if a man did that.

I'm a fairly tactile person but that is totally inappropriate touching.

Good for you for speaking up, she sounds a fucking nightmare.

I have a friend who hugs me just a little bit too tight and little bit too long. She got way too touchy feely recently after a few drinks and I physically pushed her away from me saying "ffs" their I don't want anyone other than my partner grabbing me around the waist or brushing hands against my breasts.

I tend to be pretty relaxed about people touching me, but touching anything below the waist is inappropriate. Obvs touching 'lower private parts', but also hip, thigh, knee, or lower back.

You were not out of line in the least.

What everyone lse says. Not yor issues, hers. Hope she stops.

You weren't rude.

You tried doing it nicely so really its her own fault for not taking the hint, I am quite touchy feely (but only with people I know are ok with it) but even I would have been annoyed by the thigh stroking.

YANBU. My old boss used to grab my wrist as though I were a child about to run off from her. I've had the thigh rub too. I stopped her one time and told her that I did not like to be touched. She stopped. I think she just didn't realise how uncomfortable she made me.

I physically recoil if anyone is touchy-feels with me. I can't help it but they soon get the message

YANBU, that would definitely freak me out, I hate that sort of thing. Yuck!

Does anyone have any tips for keeping the touchy-feely tactile huggy brigade at arms length without causing offence?

I’m naturally quite touchy-feely with people I like, and I say you’re 100% right, OP. It’s for tactile people to remember not everyone likes physical contact. Sure, your toucher may feel a bit embarrassed, but you’ve nothing to reproach yourself for.

Well done for asserting your boundaries. I hope that doesn’t sound patronising - it’s genuinelj a really hard thing to do.

It’s a bit much! I had a female colleague squeeze my bum when I was at the printer at work . I turned round and gave her both barreksbtgat it was totally not acceptable to feel people’s arses and to not touch me ever. She cried and said she was just showing affection! Ffs!