Is this creepy or at least unusual behaviour or am I (and my sister) being paranoid?

[questionzzz]

I need to know, because I tend towards anxious feelings about losing my kids, also I am single mom living in a new community where we are just making friends.

Yesterday, DS (11 soon 12) and I went to a local large swimming pool.
Being a chilly Sunday afternoon, it was fairly crowded. The pool has waterslides, which whoosh out into a kind of water lane.

So DS was up on the water slide, and I was kinda waiting by the lane when he got down, to tell him I was going to be in the steam room or something. As I was waiting, I noticed and made brief eye contact with some random large bloke whom I didn't know. Not a lifeguard(not wearing the standard red swimwear). I wasn't quite sure how long DS would be coming down, as there tended to be a bit of line up, and I went to get a drink from the fountain a little way away from the water slide. As I made my way back, I noticed DS sitting in the water lane, and the bloke bent over him, talking to him and pointing over at me. DS got out and kinda nodded and walked over to me and then ran over to the main pool. The end.

Later, I remembered and asked DS what the guy had told him. He said something like "He asked if I was having fun, and if I'm looking for my mom, she's over there".

Further note: DS hadn't asked him if he'd seen his mom. Neither of us knew this guy or had seen him before that.

I mildly freaked out because, a/ Why would he know I was his mom? b/ Hasn't he received the memo about strange men not talking to kids they have no business talking to? c/ Just why?

Later I mentioned this to my sister, who is my closest family member these days, and she, who also knows about my anxieties re the kids, said, half-jokingly, "he was probably casing the joint- testing to see DS was alone or not, to see if his mom really was around."

Not helpful, sister.

Anyway, it's not a big deal, but it's things like this which sometimes makes me feel I cannot take my eyes off them. Also watching SVU doesn't help.

Id have been surprised if he spoke to my DC too. Why wouldn't you be? There was no need for him to speak to your DC at all.

Why do some people pretend there's no reason to be suspicious? Given the problem out there with male predators, unless your head is buried in the sand and/or you are extermely male-centred, then it should be perfectly possible to understand why a mum may be anxious about a man initiatiating conversation with her son.

OP didn't say she called staff or police did she, simply that she was anxious and so what?

I don''t blame you OP I wouldn't be happy either. I do think it was probably a dad waiting for his DC but its good at least you have stranger danger in mind. Presumably you will have talked about all that with your son. & thats the best you can do apart from keeping an eye on him when you can.

Id have been surprised if he spoke to my DC too. Why wouldn't you be? There was no need for him to speak to your DC at all.

Why do some people pretend there's no reason to be suspicious? Given the problem out there with male predators, unless your head is buried in the sand and/or you are extermely male-centred, then it should be perfectly possible to understand why a mum may be anxious about a man initiatiating conversation with her son.

OP didn't say she called staff or police did she, simply that she was anxious and so what?

We are becoming a society where any social interaction is treated with fear and suspicion. Asking a kid who is clearly having fun if he is having fun is a normal thing to do! Some people are just nice!
Men have spoken to my lads out of my earshot and my first reaction isn't to panic but check everything is ok. Make sure they haven't misbehaved or been offensive in anyway.

Sure there are male predators about but the child was perfectly safe. He was showing the kid where mum was. Some may say to feel that level of anxiousness is rather worrying.

We go swimming a lot and you kind of notice family groups without thinking about it, nothing unusual about that.

I dislike the fact that we are becoming rather sterile and any sort of friendliness is treated with acute suspicion.

Given the problem out there with male predators, unless your head is buried in the sand and/or you are extermely male-centred

Stranger abductions are still very rare. The vast majority of "male predators" that harm children as you put it are known to the child. I'm raising my children to be aware of all sorts of risks in the world but not to let anxiety and paranoia overtake them.

in another 6 years your son will be a male predator. (assuming 18 is the age they are classed as predators)

i think in this instance youre being paranoid. Hes just a bloke in a swimming pool. Your child wasnt going to be alone with him, he didnt actually do anything, he didnt make your son feel uncomfortable or proposition him or do anything at all of note, therefore its not worth spending any time thinking about.