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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this creepy or at least unusual behaviour or am I (and my sister) being paranoid?

80 replies

questionzzz · 23/10/2017 19:46

I need to know, because I tend towards anxious feelings about losing my kids, also I am single mom living in a new community where we are just making friends.

Yesterday, DS (11 soon 12) and I went to a local large swimming pool.
Being a chilly Sunday afternoon, it was fairly crowded. The pool has waterslides, which whoosh out into a kind of water lane.

So DS was up on the water slide, and I was kinda waiting by the lane when he got down, to tell him I was going to be in the steam room or something. As I was waiting, I noticed and made brief eye contact with some random large bloke whom I didn't know. Not a lifeguard(not wearing the standard red swimwear). I wasn't quite sure how long DS would be coming down, as there tended to be a bit of line up, and I went to get a drink from the fountain a little way away from the water slide. As I made my way back, I noticed DS sitting in the water lane, and the bloke bent over him, talking to him and pointing over at me. DS got out and kinda nodded and walked over to me and then ran over to the main pool. The end.

Later, I remembered and asked DS what the guy had told him. He said something like "He asked if I was having fun, and if I'm looking for my mom, she's over there".

Further note: DS hadn't asked him if he'd seen his mom. Neither of us knew this guy or had seen him before that.

I mildly freaked out because, a/ Why would he know I was his mom? b/ Hasn't he received the memo about strange men not talking to kids they have no business talking to? c/ Just why?

Later I mentioned this to my sister, who is my closest family member these days, and she, who also knows about my anxieties re the kids, said, half-jokingly, "he was probably casing the joint- testing to see DS was alone or not, to see if his mom really was around."

Not helpful, sister.

Anyway, it's not a big deal, but it's things like this which sometimes makes me feel I cannot take my eyes off them. Also watching SVU doesn't help.

OP posts:
DancingLedge · 23/10/2017 20:10

If I saw a child looking round , at the bottom of a waterslide, and I had observed who the parent was, I might well point out where said parent was.

MissConductUS · 23/10/2017 20:12

Was he cute? Smile

AlternativeTentacle · 23/10/2017 20:12

Hmmm, yes, the decks seem really stacked against them, poor fellas. I wonder why that is? Anything in the news, any statistics? Nothing?

Not seen any issues with men pointing out kids' mothers to them...i mean come on - i am the first to encourage challenging dodgy male behaviour, i've been known to shout LTB when others are suggesting counselling; but this takes the biscuit. What on earth dodgy stuff would he be thinking, by pointing you out? Not a very good dodgy bloke, is he?

AlternativeTentacle · 23/10/2017 20:14

if she was nice-looking and was smiling also

What about a frowny ugly woman?

Mivery · 23/10/2017 20:14

I'm not following why this is a cause for a concern? He told your son where to find you in case he hadn't seen you go to get a drink. That's the end of the story? It isn't like you saw him following you around all day or something. He was most likely just another parent trying to help out your DS.

SpaghettiAndMeatballs · 23/10/2017 20:19

I'm mainly in the FWR section, so a confirmed harridan, and I have to say this sounds like normal behaviour to me.

If I thought you'd been waiting out for your son (and at a pool I might notice who you were with - there's not that many people), and you'd popped off to get a drink when he came down the slide I'd probably have done the same as this bloke.

Biggreygoose · 23/10/2017 20:19

Surely it's natural to see a child come down a slide then point out where their parent is to them? That's just being helpful as those things can be a little disorientating at the best of times.

Maybe I'm BU.... Hmm

MammaTJ · 23/10/2017 20:19

Oh well as long as she was 'nice looking'. I wouldn't make the grade, but I would be equally concerned about a child who came down the slide, expecting their parent and not finding them there.

Fat, old, ugly, female though,so maybe not an obvious paedophile!!

chipsandgin · 23/10/2017 20:21

I'm presuming you aren't in the UK (from the use of language, also it's bloody cold and rainy here right now!). Do your concerns stem from being somewhere you perceive to be more dangerous or with bad crime statistics?

hiddley · 23/10/2017 20:23

I wouldn't like some random asking my son in a swimming pool whether he was having fun. I'm with you on your question C. Why?
Meh, nothing happened, you were right there. Might be just a random who likes to get involved or something?

changemyname1 · 23/10/2017 20:25

FFS I'm passing you a grip, he was pointing out to a child he had seen with their mother where the mother had gone because the child was probably looking round for you.

Poor sod, then people moan when no one offers to help anyone and would rather walk away.

PurpleMinionMummy · 23/10/2017 20:26

I think you're seriously over thinking it. He probably saw you together then saw your ds looking to see where you were so told him.

donquixotedelamancha · 23/10/2017 20:27

If I saw a mum waiting at the bottom of the slide. Then saw a kid come out and look round, I would probably go and ask if he was looking for mum and point her out. I would foolishly imagine I was being kind.

I have now added it to the list of things I can't do. I am both male and ugly, so I'd definitely scare people.

P.S. I apologise for the crimes of my people.

NC4now · 23/10/2017 20:30

I think you’re being paranoid.

Thetruthfairy · 23/10/2017 20:30

You probably need help with your anxiety op.
I know how hard it is to parent when you have worries about your dc getting hurt in any way.
I really think the guy was just being nice X

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 23/10/2017 20:32

Good grief.

I’m the first to be a bit suspicious about dodgy behaviour of men, but really this bloke just sounds like he was being helpful in telling your son where you were. I did the same about 3 times on our last holiday, I’m now wondering if the parents think I had an ulterior motive. I do it because I’d hate to think my child couldn’t find me.

If he looked like Channing Tatum would you be so unnerved?

RosyPony · 23/10/2017 20:32

Maybe he thought you looked creepy lurking at the bottom of the slide and was checking to make sure YOU were with a child and not about to snatch his 😎

notacooldad · 23/10/2017 20:32

Maybe some people are just nice!

FucksakeCuntingFuckingTwats · 23/10/2017 20:35

Yip see no issue or creepiness in this at all. Maybe your son looked round for you. He was being helpful.

HotelEuphoria · 23/10/2017 20:37

My mum is 82 and talks to random small children all the time. I cringe, for the parents who grab their child's Hand and drag them away and for what society has become. I won't tell mum not to smile and chat to passing toddlers, but I kind of wish she wouldn't and I hate myself for it.

Caulk · 23/10/2017 20:37

YABU

Please don’t pass this anxiety/paranoia onto your children. Get help if you need to.

CaptainHammer · 23/10/2017 20:38

Ffs YABU.
You were on your way back so DS possibly didn’t know where you were, man pointed to say you were there. All good.

This man pointed you out to your son. If he wanted to take him why would he point you out?!

THIS MAN WAS BEING HELPFUL TO YOUR DS.

Mumof56 · 23/10/2017 20:41

As I was waiting, I noticed and made brief eye contact with some random large bloke whom I didn't know. Not a lifeguard(not wearing the standard red swimwear)

You were staring/glaring at him long enough to make eye contact and take notes of his swim wear/crotch area.

He told your son where you were.

Call the police /s

RebelFreddyVSRogueJason · 23/10/2017 20:49

And statistically most kids are in danger from people the know,and wen it comes to abduction,a family member like in your case.

tempstamos · 23/10/2017 21:09

Your son is going to be one of these men someday. Would you want people assuming the worst of him?
Nothing you have mentioned raises any alarm bells at all and the fact you would of smiled if it was a woman but think he must be planning to kidnap your so just because he’s a man.