AIBU - 'I'm having a fab time' photos.

[Tazmum01]

People that are desperate for you to think that they have such a great life. If they're out, we all know about it. Tagged in lots of fab places, selfies with lots of fun looking people, pictures of their cocktails with a beautiful sunset behind it.
We went out drinking this weekend with a bunch of couples and whilst it was nice to be out (child free) it wasn't the best day ever (early bar). We had some laughs, but when I looked at the pics that I was inundated with, I thought 'was I at the same place as these people?'
Am I getting old? Am I a complete mardy arse for thinking this way? Or was I so smashed that I didn't realise that I was having so much fun?
I hope I'm not past it???!!! Tell me I'm not alone.

I have a relative who does this. She posts constantly while on holiday (rather than enjoying the bloody thing!) then we find out later there were big arguments and the holiday was a bit shit. Same with recent meal with her "faves" according to the photos. Again, actually big falling out and she was called a selfish bitch. I guess she's trying to impress someone or put in a facade (but not to me as I get the un-insta version of events!). I genuinely believe if someone can be bothered to take and post pictures they are having a crap time

I post once or twice a month on Facebook. If I put a picture up of me having a good time, then it is because I’m having a good time, not because I was bored silly but think I have something to prove or whatever.

I loathe having my photo taken and would actively avoid occasions where my ugly mug was going to be all over Facebook. I think it's really bloody rude but I understand it's how life is now.

People seem so tied up with giving the impression of having fun that they don't enjoy the moment anymore

This!

Last year we went to the zoo with my SIL for our kids’ birthdays that fall near enough on the same day. Every single time we saw a new bloody animal she plonked 6yo niece in front of it to take a picture, then swiftly on for the next photo opportunity. No time for her DD to actually look at the animal, read the information board about it, maybe even feed it - nothing. We ended up losing her as we stayed with ours to actually enjoy the animals so we being quite slow. And about 2 minutes after leaving the zoo she posted onFacebook about what an AMAZING DAY her DD had. No one enjoys life like they used to, it’s so sad.

I was quite surprised after a couple I know who post an endless stream of photos of how happy they are then posted one saying how they had had a really tough year.

I have relatives who do this all the time. Always makes me feel a bit sad as I can't live up to their lifestyle. When we do go out I always feel that I have missed an opportunity if we don't take pics (we rarely do), so despite my despair I guess that I am as seduced by it as most people are. It is sad.

YANBU op

fb has turned many sensible intelligent adults to self absorbed and needy teenagers and why anyone posts anything when they are having such a great time I don’t quite get why you are thinking of fb

I always notice that couples who post how in love they are are the ones who split up sooner or later. Usually not long after an influx of lovey-dovey posts. It doesn’t surprise me at all.

I love taking photos on a night out! I'm a single mum and at uni full time so I very rarely get to go out with my friends and it's nice to have lots of pics to remember it by. I also take photos of my food to send to my chef friend because he loves it, it's basically porn to him

Perhaps these photos will help redress the balance www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/series/your-underwhelming-photos?

Always makes me feel a bit sad as I can't live up to their lifestyle.

You don’t know what goes on behind closed doors though. My DH’s sister had posted loads of pictures the last few days of her and her boyfriend and son staying by a loch and the amazing views and amazing restaurant and amazing activities. What most people on her friends list don’t know is that they have not-so-amazing balliffs knocking on their door most weeks and are up to their eyeballs in credit card debt and have been threatened with court for unpaid council tax. But it wouldn’t make a very jolly post I guess! They go away most weekends, have modest jobs and I do think a lot of people will be wondering how they afford it,

YANBU. I think social media has turned us into a nation of narcissists. I cannot believe the amount of pics people post up of themselves, of their kids of anything really just for a few "likes". When did we all become so needy? I am not on instagram, snapchat or any of them I am on fb but have not posted one picture of myself or kids ever (I have been tagged in a few). One of my close friends who I have known since pre-school lives on the other side of the country to me now so I don't see her regularly at all. I am constantly amazed at how many pictures of herself she posts in various different outfits at various different events, never of anyone else all just herself, she is stunning and very photogenic but I do not know when she got so bloody vain! I have known her for 36 years and I am utterly dumfounded at her online presence it is in complete contrast to the girl I know in real life. I have had to unfollow her because I was getting so irritated by it all and I didn't want the online stuff to start effecting how I felt about her because I think she is smashing. I don't care what anyone says I do no think it is healthy for people to be so obsessed with themselves and how they look. I stood behind a girl (looked in her 20's) in a queue for sandwiches last week and in the 5 min or so we were queuing she took 100's of pics of herself with various different facial expression and seemed to be uploading them all onto snapchat I was gobsmacked.

Oh, I know..you are completely right..but somehow you still feel inadequate. But perhaps that says more about me than them. Apologies.

When I look at old family photo albums they are all of us having a good time. Because those are naturally the occasions people choose to document and keep/share. So it's not really any different except the ease of taking photos these days mean more of it. I pretty much only post pictures of us having fun. It's nice to look back on a day and see everyone happy. There probably would have been points it wasn't "the funnest day ever" but why would you dwell on the low points?! My Facebook is pretty much locked down to friends and family. I don't live near most of them having moved quite a way away and so it's really the best way of keeping in touch. I would assume they had the sense to realise that while I would put some highlights of a day out with DS for example, there would probably have been some tantrums and queuing and the normal annoyances of a day out with a small child. Doesn't mean I shouldn't accentuate the positive. It's not aimed at anyone. I'm not trying to present my life as anything. Do people expect Facebook to be a documentary of everything little shit thing that happens in someone's life?

That was to cherrychasingdotmuncher

People are so obsessed with photography these days. Many are definitely missing out on actually experiencing things.

Gigs/concerts: many people watch via their phone screen as they record grainy, low-quality videos rather than just dancing and enjoying the live music.

I worked as a tour guide in London in the summers when I was a student... My God. We'd wait to watch the changing of the guards and nobody would be watching it. They'd all be raising their phones above their heads and watching the little screen as they take photos.

Then there's my friends who have to pose and take 10-20 photos for fb/instagram EVERY time we do something/go somewhere. Even a sunday afternoon barbecue with a few friends and our kids turns into a pose-and-picture-fest. Save me.

@BalloonSlayer I always take pictures of food because I send them to my sister/ tripadvisor them

I don't think it's healthy to care that much that someone you know IRL posts a rosier picture of themselves online either. So the people who know them know different, and the people who don't know it's an over the top representation don't really matter. And it doesn't affect you really. Unless it's got some kind of malicious intent then on the part of the person reading it all and fuming... that just smacks of a kind of bitterness. And I'd suggest if you dislike the person on your Facebook so much that you get annoyed at seeing them present a positive picture of their life, you can hide their posts and just read the people who are acceptable to you...

Given how irritated so many people get about facebook, I'd say a lot more people need to use the hide/unfollow option tbh.

I don't post much on facebook, but I generally do enjoy what others are posting and the photos I do not enjoy I just skip past.

My question is, why are you on facebook when you seem to get so annoyed about what others are posting? Just don't log on to facebook at all or unfollow certain people. I think there is a lot of jealousy too. The idea that people posting cannot possibly be having such a great time.

Doesn’t everyone use Facebook for one of three reasons?

1. Boasting (and convincing yourself your life is amazing, everyone else can see through it).
2. Moaning - posting endless statuses that elicit “u ok Hun?” “I’ll inbox you” 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
3. Tagging friends in insulting memes for amusement (this is always acceptable, extra points if you piss off a dickhead ex by insinuating that your friend is getting more sex than him now he’s left )

What other possible uses can there be? YANBU unreasonable to find either 1 or 2 annoying. 3 is fair game!

Yanbu. Facebook should change its name to 'BragBook'.

I used to post my picture to Facebook because I'm a sod for breaking a phone (think 4 in 2 years) and at least my pics were backed up so to speak. I've recently learnt to back them using cloud/Google? Idk but they're definitely backed up somewhere!

Also I have Irish and distant family so I post for them sometimes.
I do have a thing for photos though, generally. I have zero childhood ones so while I take a few one days out its for my smalls to look at when they're older. Pre digital cameras I used to spend £40 every 3 months on printing reels and reels of film!

I have friends and family all over the place and love seeing their photos of what they are up to. I don't think they are bragging. I think people who feel others are bragging if they post holiday photos etc do not necessarily have very exiciting lives and find it difficult to join in on other peoples fun. Happy contented people usually don't spend much time feeling irritated about other people IME

I think FB is changing a bit now. I hardly have anyone on my feed posting wonderful "look how happy we are" photos these days, whereas I used to see lots. I use it mainly to follow news these days, though I quite like seeing what friends are getting up to.
I do remember a couple of years ago going for a wood walk with a friend. The kids were bored, cold and hungry and my son and hers didn't get on at all ending up with my son getting quite badly hurt by him and very upset.
I was shocked later to see what must have been the only bit of laughter caught on camera and posted on FB saying what a great time we were having in the beautiful outdoors!
In an odd way it was really good for me, as I had been getting jealous of all the fabulous happy stuff I was seeing. It really brought it home to me how nothing is really as it seems and that FB pics tell you nothing. In fact the more people post, the chances are they are trying to prove something underneath. I never really felt envious of other people's photos after that and these days enjoy it for what it is - glimpses of happy times in what are the very normal, up and down lives of friends.