to leave a sixth former alone in the house

[hollyrosedaisy]

While we go on holiday? Would this be ok? Obviously money and food provided.

I moved out at 16 and lived alone so I would leave my child at sixthform age (provided they were not stupidly immature or suffered from anxiety, etc).

oh FFS. MN is really getting on my tits today.

We left DD2 and DD3 and went on a long weekend to Paris to help DD1 get all of her university stuff back (he had spent her uni year abroad living there).

They were fine. We called and texted them several times and had left them food and emergency money.

Some will be off to university after sixth form and others will be doing other things which might or might not entail moving out of home, so in most cases (only you know your own teenagers) no harm in leaving them provided that you and they are all happy.

Enjoying the atories meant elsewhere. How i liked reading about children loved and cared for
Just explaining that.

I would. We used to go on holiday without my brother because he didn't want to come and the first one we went on without him he was 16.

If your parent moved out mon to Friday to be with their partner, leaving you alone at home at 16 without a support structure and feeling lonely I’d say that was pretty shit and monumentally selfish.

Just another couple of years of nurture and you’d have been on your way anyway. You have a right to be sad and angry about that.

I was left alone at that age. No problems at all.

This thread reads a bit strangely with the deletions. I agree it would be better reposted with more explanation.

That sounds very selfish of your parent. I know him sad it feels when you hear of so much love others got. I feel the same. . Do you want to talk about it?

Not him HOW SAD.

I feel really bad. Didn't realise. I am struggling a lot right now with feeling very alone and I was thinking back to how and when it started.

I was 18 when my mum first left me for a week to go away, I was fine.

Having said that, DD will be in sixth form next year (at just 16) and I wouldn’t. She’d prob be ok overnight though as a one-off by then.

Oh, so it’s you that this happened to. That’s sad. There’s no way I would do that to my kids however much they drive me bonkers. I don’t even like leaving them on their own (but together) on an occasional school night as they need a bit of supervision vis a vis schoolwork etc. They are 13.5 & 15.

I think your parents were cruel OP. It’s one thing to leave a child for a one off holiday but to move out and leave you alone and lonely is awful at that young age is awful.
Yes people do live alone at that age but it’s not ideal and it’s usually because of major issues at home.

Too many awful above but I think you understand how horrible I think your parents behaviour was!!

No I wouldn't.

I would just about leave my son of nearly 20 in my house whilst away. I know what I got up to at that age :)

OP, I'm sorry to hear that you didn't receive much support from your parents as an older teenager. I was also put in the position of having to be very independent from mid-teens, and was a carer from 16-18. Have you had any counselling to work through these issues?

It must have been really difficult for you, hollyrose. It's not surprising that it still has an impact on you now. As the mum of (usually sensible) teens I'd have no problem leaving them for a couple of days but wouldn't leave longer unless they felt very, very comfortable with it. We have family around so backup is on hand. Teens are a time when you need support to make the transition into young adulthood to give you the confidence to move towards independant living at a pace that works for you. Not everyone has this option but the fact that you felt this was imposed on you must make have made the experience difficult. Has something happened recently to raise this in your present? I really hope that you now have someone you can talk to about this and also realise that what sounds like pretty selfish, not-great parenting decisions made when you were a teen absolutely weren't your fault and you do have every right to feel sad for your teen self.

I'm now the parent of teenagers. My 17 year old is independent from a practical point of view, but still needs emotional support.

I'm sorry that happened to you Holly. Your parents were very selfish doing that to you. It's very different choosing to live on your own at that age than being left behind. I'm sure that is how it must have felt for you.

Some parents are just shits.

My ex's mother was in the process of moving area when ex was due to start his A Levels. She decided that, rather than start at one school then have to move after a few weeks, she was better renting a small house for him to live in Mon - Fri until her house sale and job transfer went through. In the end he was living alone for about six months and his mum stayed over at weekends usually. I think she tried to visit in the evening a couple of times a week too.

My ex was fairly sensible for his age, but does admit that he probably abused the freedom a bit too much at first (having girls stay over, going to the pub on school nights etc.). But he did manage to do well at school and the house didn't get trashed, so it did work fairly well. The problem began when he had to move back in with his mum again and then didn't respect her authority at all, so they argued a lot before he went to uni.

If my parents had done that, I probably wouldn't have made it to uni as I'd be a single parent by then tbh. That's if I'd not been arrested or evicted! So it definitely depends on your child and how responsible or attention seeking they are.

I can just about imagine a situation where circumstances made it necessary. So for example, a parent loses their job and gets one at a distance and doesn’t want to disrupt their teenager's schooling. Just about, if it was essential and a support network was in place for the teen.

But to pursue a relationship, or a hobby, then no. Occasionally yes, regularly no.

Op you were let down but youre an adult
Now And It doesnt have to continue to have it limit you. Go to your dr and ask for counselling. Can you expand your social circle? Join groups? Fill your life with happiness?