Work colleague revealed my pregnancy

[dazedandconfuse]

So I'm currently 15 weeks pregnant, I haven't told work yet for various reasons. I have also told hardly any family members, haven't told any friends etc. I'm not really showing at all (at least I didn't think I was) and I haven't done anything at work to make anyone think I'm pregnant. E.g called in sick or anything, or let on AT ALL that I'm pregnant.

Anyway there's a woman at work who doesn't like me too much (you know when YOU know) and she, today, in front of all my work colleagues exclaimed "YOURE PREGNANT ARENT YOU" I was so fcking shocked. I was just like um yeah... and she responded "I was going to say something last week but I wasn't sure because your tummy is getting bigger but your boobs aren't" i am completely mortified this happened. I have no idea how she knew (I wear a baggy work top, been wearing tight fighting t shirts around family and they had NO IDEA) was she just saying it to be spiteful and it backfired because I'm actually pregnant??? I've honestly never been so fucking mortified in my life. In fact I've actually lost two stone since getting pregnant. F*cking morti fucking fied

I knew my dd was before she did...twice

That’s awful, you’ve no need to be embarrassed though. It sounds as though all your other colleagues thought it was an awful thing to do too.

That is awful. They absolutely shouldn’t have said anything. I’m quite close to one of my colleagues and I accidentally saw her booking appointment notice when she went into her bag to get something for me. I didn’t mention it to her because I knew she would tell me when she was ready.

When she finally told me two months later I was about ready to explode and she asked me why I didn’t mention it if I had known all this time. I said I didn’t want to put you in the spot; for all I knew you might have been considering different options none of which were my business.

Looking at your photo I agree with PP your colleague was just trying to be nasty. I would consider making a complaint to HR.

I can't see how it's an HR issue - she didn't announce it she asked a question (just not in a nice manner)

my boss told my colleagues i was pregnant and was sacked for it! i raised a grievance against her for this and other things related to my pg but this was what did it as it could be backed up by witnesses.

It’s a HR issue because in asking the question they forced the OP to reveal private information.

probably a bit different though as I disclosed to her and then was off sick and she told everyone why. her asking in a not v discrete way and you confirming is somewhat more ball in your court. if you’ve got a problem with her though take it to HR.

Where I used to work when I was pregnant 2 years ago I told my boss and my manager only. I specifically told them not to tell people and what did my manager do? Went round telling all the other staff

I’d be furious. She’s a stranger, a work colleague only not a friend in a social setting. None of her business. As someone who has suffered miscarriage you tell work, yes before legal limit, but when you are ready. That person doesn’t know your history

I didn't complain because it's only a small place and the manager and boss are really buddy buddy so it wouldn't have got anywhere. Best bit is I was only 5 weeks, the only reason I told them so early was because the job involved lifting. Definitely too early to be telling everyone else at work

You’re 15 weeks pregnant and have lost 2 stone in that time.

Last post should have ended with a question mark!

She guessed and took a lucky punt. She didn’t do anything wrong. You should have said no.

Also why post a pic?

She didn’t reveal your pregnancy. She wasn’t privy to any kind of personal information that you were pregnant and told people in breach of your privacy. She guessed. And you said you were pregnant

I had similar to the OP. I was off from work with severe HG and I found out from a friend I worked with that my manager had told people I was pregnant despite me not even making an announcement of any kind to a wider range of people beyond close friends and family I’m inclined to believe it too as I knew there was gossip going round and my company HR had also tried to discipline me for the sickness absence until my DH stepped in and advised them of the law. Some people are just very thoughtless.

But the OP isnt’ a managers privy to personal info she just guesse and the op confirmed.

One of DHs friends realised I was pregnant long before I told anyone. Apparently I kept touching my stomach - I had no idea I was doing it.

That aside, she shouldn’t have blurted it out like that, I don’t think it’s a HR thing, but I do think it was bloody rude.

I don't think it's a HR issue, she isn't your manager. She asked a question & you had a choice how you answered.

BUT it was a shitty thing to do & I would be fucked off too

She's put you in a position where you had to either deny your baby or admit

Not hrs place to do anything about this, speak to her manager about it and let them handle it. As it stands it's just a comment about your appearance which doesn't need HR involvement in the slightest. At this stage anyway.

Congratulations,but do make it official with your workplace now, might aswell!

Unfortunately the boat has sailed but the best answer I can think of is to say "maybe you would like to reconsider your question, because if I was pregnant and haven't told you myself maybe it is still very early and not ready to tell people yet, and if I'm not pregnant you gave just announced you think I've gained weight. In light of that do you really think the question is appropriate?" So hard to answer on the spot though.

Oh she’s a pain in the arse but she didn’t reveal your pregnancy - you did. She had no prior knowledge - she had nothing to reveal, she was a dick, there’s loads of them about. It happened to me, I didn’t tell work until after 20 weeks with my first, a member of staff mentioned it at about 15 weeks during a lunchbreak, I just shrugged and said Nope.

I posted a pic to show I don't look pregnant so the fact she said she guessed because "my tummy was getting bigger" wasn't valid

Yes I've lost weight even though I'm 15 weeks pregnant, not through poor diet choices I'm much healthier. A lot of people don't start gaining until quite late in pregnancy. But thanks for your fucking pointless remark

Thanks to the people actually not putting pointless responses to this 🤔 I posted because I was upset and wanted somewhere to vent about it, but classic netmums there has to be people to chat absolute shit just for the sake of it

But once again thanks to the people with normal human responses you made me feel much better and not like a craZy hormonal overreacter

This is mumsnet not netmums.