Hairzilla.

[KungFuPandaWorksOut16]

The next thread...

Fingers crossed for a nice update for you all.

The “dead to me” comment is a bit dramatic. This is real life - not Eastenders.

I do feel for for OP but I agree with Pictish. My best friends in the world, I would never dream of handling it the way OP did. I.e embarrassing them no matter how awful they were being. I have acquaintances I would, depending on the circumstances. But I’m aware I’m going against the grain.
I feel for OP and F1 clearly isn’t a friend. But I would have done it differently.

I wouldn't discuss this with the pta or school. She's not a pupil there. Not their responsibility and I'd want to avoid the drama tbh.

You poor girl. Lovely DH & F2 & F3. That other one is a shit. Totally.

During the blasting you were quiet because you were stunned. It is probably best you said little or nothing, it was not a conversation but a tirade. You did fine. Let it go and let her go. Stay well clear.

You sound like a really lovely person; I'd be proud to be your friend

Unbelievable. At least you know where you stand. 😓

but pictish - the friend wasn't picking up calls to even arrange a meeting - if she wasn't picking up calls/answering texts/answering calls, how do you suppose any form of communication/meeting would come about?

The same friend who was using the other friends as a mode of information refused to have anything to do with KungFu after calls/messages etc.

Sorry you've had such a rough time Kung. It's awful when you discover a friend is actually a twat. And is prepared to sacrifice you in their pursuit for glory.

I agree with you re FB spats. Stay out of them at all costs!

I'm glad F2 and F3 have been there for you tonight.

Don't contact the PTA chair or the school. Just carry on offering the updo you agreed to earlier. You'll look like a loon if you complain to them your idiot friend has been nasty to you. If you see the chair in the street and recognise her, you could say something, but don't rescind your offer now. You are the good decent person, and you've been lovely to them. That word will get around.

Personally I don't think the OP embarrassed the friend enough.

Shadenfreude - I would have given it a bit of time as it was important and involved a close friend. As much as it's fun for all of us to enjoy a thread in real time, the matter really didn't need to be concluded so hastily or via text. I would not have sent those emails before having the conversation.

OP I'm sure I remember you having a similar situation with your DM being a CF by offering free hairdos by you to her mates, surely F1 knew how you felt about that at the time? If so that makes it even more

Ah this sums her up fully

Hold on to the knowledge you have done nothing wrong op. She made herself look a stupid twat, because she is one.

F2 shouldn't delete that comment. It's true and you aren't doing a public spat, it's not your comment.

pictish is being naïve. the concept that this could have been dealt with without going via the pta/ht really only works if f1 is a reasonable person who admits they did wrong. That was never going to happen.

Please don't call the PTA lady again. She's a volunteer who shouldn't have to deal with spats between friends. I know none of this was your fault but leave her out of it now.

On the positive side, if you do a nice up-do then maybe you'll gain a new client. My hairdresser always gives me vouchers for events on the basis that he will usually manage to convert the winner into clients or they'll tell their friends etc.

Can't believe how your ex-friend spoke to you though. How awful.

She's a cheeky devil and deserves the embarrassment I personally wouldn't want to publicly blamed but I think you are a much better person than I am.

She’s not a CF, she’s a CFC! (Cheeky Fucking Cunt)

She’s shown herself up for the absolute test she really is, Your other friends know this 100%, you’ve done nothing wrong at all. I realise it probably doesn’t feel like it now but you’re better off without her, the horrible, horrible fucker!

Knowing what gossipy places school playgrounds are, the pfa chair has probably already heard. F1 will have pfa members as fb friends and they'll have seen the posts and told the pfa chair, or screenshotted it. She'll have lost a lot of credibility over this, people will "aw hun" her to her face, but gossip behind her back, and the pfa will probably not want to have a loose cannon. I wouldn't! I've been on various committees with people like F1, there are a depressing amount of them around, and they always cause drama and bad feeling then put the blame on others. Worse to have than no help at all.

OP, I probably wouldn't have gone to pfa, but I do think you've handled this with dignity and hopefully it won't have a negative effect on your role in the group. Hope that things are a bit calmer tomorrow, and there's no more drama from her. Silent treatment is always preferable! You could always block her on fb so you don't have to see her comments

If I were you I would send F1 a text saying all the things you wish you had said earlier. Get it all off your chest. Then, before she can reply, block her number and her ability to see you on fb etc.
There is no going back from what she said and how she has conducted herself, so best thing you can do is opt out of all her drama and cut off her ability to contact you.
I would stick by what you offered pta lady - you will regret going back on something you agreed to do.

So sorry this has happened. I've had CF people expect to receive my services (as an accountant) for their local charities or groups for free 'because it's just a bit of adding up and it's for a good cause'. Oh Storm will do it, she's a good friend and an accountant.

I've always been a sap and gone along with it, even though it's a lot more than just doing a few sums. I admire you for standing up for yourself.

I don't think pictish is being naive. It's possible that the situation wouldn't have ended well for OP whatever she did but it wasn't an emergency that needed immediate communication with the school. Sometimes just giving things a bit of time can do wonders.
obviously F1s behaviour especially at the salon was utterly indefensible.

You ladies rock! (Not including F1).

Hope you're feeling better OP

I have followed this whole thread and I AM SPEECHLESS!!

What the actual fuck??

I cannot believe the sheer audacity of this woman behaving like this. She brought this all on herself. If she’d bothered to ask you in the first place, it wouldn’t have become an issue. If she’d bothered to respond to your attempts to contact her to sort it out, rather than texting the other two friends and ignoring your texts, this could’ve been sorted out.

Instead she opted to ignore you and then effectively try and bully you into doing what she wanted so she didn’t end up looking bad for fucking up in the first place. And now she’s going for the ol’ Facebook sympathy vote. Pathetic.

The nerve of this woman is astounding!!

From where I’m sitting the only one who’s jealous is her. Jealous you have your own business. The PTA thing probably made her feel important, it gave her a “look at me aren’t I doing well” status in her mind. That backfired spectacularly didn’t it? Now she looks like a knob. And a vicious one at that.

F2&3 sound like decent ladies. The fact they knew you may need some support and were waiting for you at home after your meeting with her - that’s what GOOD friends do.

Don’t feel embarrassed about not biting back at her when she rounded off on you. When you’re sitting there that shocked at the utter crap and vitriol that’s being directed at you, sometimes it’s hard to find the words because you’re too stunned to think of anything to say. (I’ve always thought of loads of things I wished I’d said after the event ).

Sometimes shitty things happen to shine a light on who your REAL friends are. I cut my best mate of over 10 years out of my life a couple of years ago because she was a hurtful bitch to me. Sucked at the time, but soon after felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, because I realised then she had never really been that great a friend and I’d always made excuses for her behaviour. Not something I’d ever had to do before but I knew I didn’t need a ‘friend’ like that in my life.

My guess is, she knows full well she fucked up but is too stubborn and embarrassed to admit it. So she’s tried to turn it round on you, to make herself feel better about the fact she behaved like a twat.

She was expecting you to roll over and give in and you didn’t and you surprised her by standing up for yourself and she didn’t know how to react to or deal with that. So she went on the defensive to guilt trip you into being the one to apologise. If she wants to chuck away your friendship, that’s on her head. But doesn’t sound like she was a friend worth keeping.

Sorry you’ve had all this stress and sorry it’s been caused by a ‘so called’ friend. But be under no illusion all this was of her own doing, NOT yours

I also realise the length of my last post, contradicts me actually being ‘speechless’

F1 is projecting. I reckon she's the one that's jealous of you. SHE made herself look like a twat by 'donating' something that wasn't hers to give away in the first place. You're in shock when F1 unleashed her tirade. You've been nice by giving her an out so don't let F1 make you doubt yourself. You need to have a sign specially made for her "We reserve the right to refuse service..." If F1 ever tries to sully your business, you've got the upper hand. Keep those texts handy.

"pictish is being naïve"

No, pictish is being calm and reasonable rather than being encouraged by mumsnet to make a drama out of a crisis by firing off impulsive emails to humiliate my friend, who admittedly took a liberty, but one that could have been sorted out eventually with a frank conversation.

What Pictish said