AIBU not to go on holiday with a broken leg?

[TheNewKaren]

ExH is trying to pressurise me into going on a short trip into mainland Europe by car (he will be driving) over the half term. He would like to spend time with the children and they will not be going on holiday with him if I am not coming.

On such occasions I would usually go with the children in our own car and stay in a separate hotel (usually in an apartment a few miles down the road from him), but with a broken leg in a cast I can’t drive. He has offered to drive us all, but I am not comfortable with this and tbh in the past I have always been grateful to have my own transport in case he is misbehaving.

ExH is of course calling me all sorts of things and apparently half the world is going on holiday with broken legs etc and I should just get on with it and not make so much fuss. The consequences of not going will be endless hostilities, but I really can’t face it. AIBU to decline?

If Dr says you shouldn't travel then don't. Insurance could be the least of your worriers.

I don’t believe for a moment that I / we could make him realise that he was not a good husband and father. He would never admit to that. He would do anything and everything to get control over us and me being ‘helpless’ and reliant on him is probably a dream come true - if only. This holiday would not end well and we couldn’t even get a hire car back as DS is not driving yet. There always has to be an escape plan with ExH.

He is helpful from time to time and making my life easier, but that’s his job as the other parent and he doesn’t do anywhere near enough, given that we both work long hours and I have a long commute on top of that usually.

No AnyFucker I had no illusions and it’s just a case of ‘keeping my enemy closer’ for me and admitting that he should be able to spend some time with his children. He is a lonely man and he does care for them. At the same time I have to be careful and clear boundaries have to be in place or I end up in the middle of a mess such as today where I seriously ask if I am being unreasonable to decline a holiday invitation. We are of course not going and the kids are ok with that.

Thank you all.

You don't have clear boundaries at all !

If it wasn't for a plaster cast you would be putting yourself and your kids through un necessary torture and abuse again

You are minimising and rationalising.

As teenagers now you leave the dc to make arrangements directly.
Cut contact with him from your side. Polite and civil if you need to be.
Let him and dc sort it out. ... you just need to know when they off to see him.his loneliness is not your problem

You really don't need to run around now they teenagers they can go see him if they wish