Inappropriate interview question

[stretchmarkqueenie]

Looking to return to work after being a SAHM for a year after my mat leave ended. In a job interview yesterday the interviewer asked me 'do you like being a mum?' AIBU to feel this isn't appropriate? To put this into context the question didn't come from a chat about children, it was during competency based questioning about the job so I was quite taken a back.

I am feeling all nervous about returning to work so I don't know if I'm overreacting but it's just thrown me a little, I was in professional mode and there to talk about my skills and what I can bring to the company so wasn't expecting personal questions like that. Of course something like 'what are your childcare arrangements?' I could totally understand but this felt a bit probing!

It is inappropriate. Even if it wasn't meant as a "I wonder if she's going to take time off to have more kids" question (which, on balance, I think it probably was), he was very stupid to ask it in case it is perceived as one.

It's a weird question!

I was asked outright in an interview about 5 years ago if I was planning on having any more children (I had one at the time), and what my childcare arrangements were. Was a bit :-O at it. Female interviewer in the room with him almost choked on her coffee when he asked.

Good gracious I wouldn't want to be an employer these days if you could be accused of 'discrimination' for asking a perfectly reasonable question.

Op, you are a new mum. The interviewer was trying to gauge your reliability ie if it was worth employing you, training you up, only for you to miss your baby dreadfully and leave, or get pregnant again very soon.

I'm sure you can see it from his point of view. It is up to you to convince him that you really want the job.

Bang out of order. Should never have asked you that.

My wife has just got a new job elsewhere and discovered she was pregnant immediately after accepting it. The employer pushed back the start date (so she’d get better mat leave) and was happy to wait ‘for the right person’ (ie her). That’s how a good employer should act.

Susannah wow, just wow.

Fuck, Susannah. Have you been an employer in the past? Does your post reflect your behaviour and/or attitude to your employees? If so then I think the world should be very glad and relieved that you're not an employer.

@Susannah would they ask a new dad a similar question? A dad can similarly miss their child while out at work or want to take paternity leave or decide to become a stay-at-home father.

Also, it is common for there to be a minimum period after joining that you have to work before you are eligible for maternity pay (usually a year). Even taking this out of the equation, it is unlikely that a woman will plan to get pregnant just after starting a new job - and if a woman does get pregnant, if she is the best candidate she will be worth the short term rearrangements in the longer term.

You have the same type of risk of hiring a man or woman who gets a better offer and leaves the company in the first few months. But you don't get questions about that at interview, as managers have to put a certain amount of hope and trust into the best candidate available. Life can and will happen though, and part of good management is how you then deal with that.

Most people (of both genders) carefully think through childcare and related plans before applying for a job. It is only women that get asked random questions like this though.

Susannah wins the thread

I'd ask for feedback following the interview and while you're at it, provide your feedback on that question.

that's a bonkers question

suppose you hate it and say so, how would they interpret that?

After reading about the generous maternity leave in the UK I’m guessing the interviewer doesn’t want to hire someone who wants to keep having babies.

I went for a part time position when returning to work after having my first son and was asked what I was going to do about childcare.

I answered and was fuming later when I thought about it.

I got the job but didn't hang around for long - they were awful employers!

How did he know you have kids?

Is it an internal application where you already work?

Charolais

And that would be sexist and prejudiced.

They're not allowed to ask about childcare arrangements.

They don't ask men.

I've heard of interviews where the actual interview is conducted to the proper rules, with no mention of bloody childcare, but afterwards a staff members comes over all smiles and asks you about yourself and tries to get you to talk about kids.

Women need to all band together and expose this shit on social media when it happens, and to also ensure we're all prepared to say "It is not relevant" when they try digging to find out your childcare arrangements or how much you 'love' your kids, which they do not do to men in interviews.

Fucking hell SusannahL, that is literally the reason why interviewers should not be asking these questions. That is epically discriminatory. I sincerely hope you are not in a position to be interviewing people, because you would be a serious legal risk to you company.

oldlaundbooth yes i suppose it would be, but when you have a business to run you have to consider your bottom line.

When I started my business, many decades ago, my husband and I only had one child and I never had anymore because of the toxic chemicals, dust, heavy lifting, long hours etc I had a chance of being exposed to. If my company had been in the UK I would be potentially paying another woman to stay home and have babies while I couldn’t.

Disclaimer; I live in the US and have since the early 70’s.

I learned about UK maternity leave from the radio here when a British female employer stated she would hire a equally qualified male over a female every time because of maternity leave. She believed maternity leave it was often times preventing women from getting the better jobs.

So, I was thinking the interviewer was asking about the OP being a mum to find out if she planned to have more.

Maybe someone could tell me how long maternity leave is, how much one gets paid while on it and if anyone there believes it makes a difference as far as new hires are concerned. Thanks.

She believed maternity leave it was often times preventing women from getting the better jobs

Yes.

But people aren't going to stop wanting to have children (one hopes, anyway; ageing populations aren't good for any of us).

So why not change the system to accommodate children and their mothers better?

I think you should complain - shouldn’t they ask what child care arrangement is once they have offered you a job? It sounds like you have been discriminated!!! It’s like asking a disabled person, do you like having a disability- how stupid!!!

You can ask about childcare. You can't discriminate based on someone's sex.

How many men do you know have been asked this question?

The question is discriminatory because more women than men have primary childcare responsibilities

I think we have shared parental leave now don't we? As far as I'm aware men have children too

Charolais it sounds more like you actually still live in the 1970s.

Put it down to experience and be grateful that you didn't get to work for this shambolic piece of shit employer.

I had an interview for a college lecturer job where I was asked in three different ways whether I had childcare available to do the job. In the end I stopped the interview and told them I didn't want to work for an organisation that felt it was an appropriate thing to ask and I'm so glad I did, the person who got the role left within a few months because they were as difficult to work for as they were to interview for!

Well thank fuck for everybody involved that you are not an employer susannah.