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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my sister posts too many pictures on Facebook?

110 replies

CatsAreAwesome · 18/10/2017 23:14

Background is, I don’t have children but my little sister is married with toddler aged children.

She lives away from family due to her husbands job and doesn’t know all that many people where she lives.

My problem is, she’s always posting pictures of her kids on Facebook, maybe 3 times a week. She doesn’t tend to update her status or write much, but its these constant pictures she keeps uploading. I get it that she is on her own but I feel like she’s seeking validation or something and it’s grating on me. WIBU to say something to her about this?

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/10/2017 07:47

Maybe focus on making your own life happier. Perhaps try and improve your relationship with your sister so it's more real rather than conducted through fb which will only give you a particular view.

MuddlingThroughLife · 19/10/2017 07:49

Maybe she posts them because she is so far away from famiky so you can all see the kids and keep up to date with what they're up to?

Three a week isn't much IMO.

TealStar · 19/10/2017 07:49

I don't think any of my fb friends post pics of their kids 3 times a week. Three times a month perhaps, or once a week at most. Even that I'd see as quite a lot!

Rachie1973 · 19/10/2017 07:52

TealStar really? I post a lot of my kids, and grandchildren. Most weeks there's at least 4-5 pics.

My family live a distance away and like them. Plus I'm useless at storing pics so I can pull them from FB for printing lol

kaytee87 · 19/10/2017 07:53

It’s almost like you’re hoping your sisters life isn’t as perfect. Concentrate on your own happiness and you’ll find you can be happy for other people.

TealStar · 19/10/2017 07:54

Yep.

I wouldn't rely on fb for photo storing as they compress the images to make them web-friendly, so you'll lose a lot of quality when having them printed. You'd be better off using a google drive or icloud for storage.

MrLovebucket · 19/10/2017 07:59

What comes across to me is that you don't actually like your sister very much.

I doubt anybody really has the perfect life they portray on Facebook. Conversely, I doubt anyone really has the dreadful woe-is-me life they portray on there either (got one of those on my friends list). It's not a crime to exaggerate on social media though.

Just unfollow her so you don't see the pics in your newsfeed and get on with your life you miserable caaaaah

Rachie1973 · 19/10/2017 08:00

TealStar

I have a back up drive, but I have this table that has a glass top. SO boring, so I use it like a photo frame and have a photo collage under the glass and about every 6 months I get bored and change the pics lol. They don't have to be great resolution so I just whip them off my FB (and the kids FB's) lol

So off topic lol

londonrach · 19/10/2017 08:04

3 times a week. Seriously thats just keeping people informed. You dont have to view photos of your neices and nephews. Ive got friends on my fb who post pictures daily several times in the day of their children. I enjoy seeing what they doing. They decision re fb. My dd is put on my main fb page every week or two....sometimes it be twice in a week sometimes once a month. Weve a private fb page for just family. Yabu.

AlternativeTentacle · 19/10/2017 08:12

This isn’t a reverse. I just felt like it was a bit excessive but clearly I’m in the wrong here. She paints out that she has this perfect life on Facebook and I suppose that irritates me as it can’t be half as perfect as she makes out.

To be honest, your first post was bad but this just takes the biscuit. I wonder if she is needy because she has a mean and nasty sister? Just a thought.

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 19/10/2017 08:18

Oh my god!! Your a cheery cove you aren't you?! Geez it's you with the issues.

Your sister is happy and has happy children this is normal.

First you accuse her of being needy and needing validation and then when people told you that you were being unreasonable you changed to she can't have a perfect life. Er yes she can, it's her life it makes her happy.

Do you just have an issue with her or social media?

You really need to find some way to deal with your jealousy and superiory

RandomDreams · 19/10/2017 08:20

YABU, you sound jealous and nasty.

PurpleMinionMummy · 19/10/2017 08:25

Perhaps she mistakenly thought her family, who she lives away from, would like to see pictures of their nieces/nephews/grandkids/etc Confused

MsPassepartout · 19/10/2017 08:29

Photos 3 times a week is on the high side among my FB friends, but not exceptionally so. And people living far from family do tend to post more photos. I wouldn't say anything, just unfollow her if it bothers you.

And what people post on FB is an edited version of their lives. Again, if that bothers you, just unfollow.

MagicMarkers · 19/10/2017 09:04

I know someone who posts a lot of pictures of her kids. I do feel sorry for the kids having a total lack of privacy. One was a picture of her 12 year old in the bath! You only saw the child's chest, but what is this woman doing in the bathroom anyway? With a camera? And posting it on Facebook?

I never post anything about my kids or any pictures of them. I believe that they have a right to privacy.

ThymeLord · 19/10/2017 09:08

I wonder which newspaper (I use the word loosely) this will appear in.

BanyanTree · 19/10/2017 09:44

Maybe your sister does have good privacy settings on her FB and only her friends and family can see the pictures?

I suppose that irritates me as it can’t be half as perfect as she makes out

Perhaps your time and energy would be better spent fulfilling your own life which clearly is lacking in excitement.

m0therofdragons · 19/10/2017 10:58

I love posting pics of dc as I know in a year I'll see the pic again as a "memory". It's basically like an online photo album but instead of shoving the pics in a book on the shelf they are available for my family to see.

If you don't want to see the pictures just unfollow. People use fb differently do who are you to be the social media police?

lurkingnotlurking · 19/10/2017 11:28

Using FB for validation? Whatever next? What are you on there for?

lightcola · 19/10/2017 11:32

If she lives away from friends and family then she's sharing snapshots of her children for people she assumes cares. How sad for her and her children that you don't. I'm in the same boat as your sister, but thankfully I have lovely siblings that appreciate me sharing my children with them.

LemonysSnicket · 19/10/2017 12:06

Not that weird. If it’s mostly family and old friends on there and set to private it is a was of easily chronologically keeping memories and sharing them with her distant fr&fam at the same time.
3x a week isn’t that much ... my sister posts about 3 selfies a day 🙄

LemonysSnicket · 19/10/2017 12:07

Needy?
A) what about that says ‘needy’?
B ) if she is needy or lonely maybe give her some support and call

Rikalaily · 19/10/2017 12:15

She lives away from family - I would have thought you would appreciate regular pictures of your nieces/nephews.

Her facebook, she can post what she likes and it's a good permanent way to store pictures (wish I'd done this before my toddler deleted 1400 pics off my phone!)

3x a week isn't excessive, if she was posting pics all day every day of every little thing she or the kids do or eat, that would be excessive.

BaconAndBees · 19/10/2017 13:08

Gosh, I wonder why she moved away?!

Goshthatwentwell · 19/10/2017 17:17

There's regular updates and there's ridiculous. It's the equivalent of having to look at a photo album every time you go round. It's not a fair reflection of life as no one takes pictures of " doing homework" or " sitting watching tv", which is what you'd see them doing if you lived closer.
I'm with you op. It is needy behaviour family or not.