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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my sister posts too many pictures on Facebook?

110 replies

CatsAreAwesome · 18/10/2017 23:14

Background is, I don’t have children but my little sister is married with toddler aged children.

She lives away from family due to her husbands job and doesn’t know all that many people where she lives.

My problem is, she’s always posting pictures of her kids on Facebook, maybe 3 times a week. She doesn’t tend to update her status or write much, but its these constant pictures she keeps uploading. I get it that she is on her own but I feel like she’s seeking validation or something and it’s grating on me. WIBU to say something to her about this?

OP posts:

NikiBabe · 18/10/2017 23:55

I know people who post several times a day with pics of their kids.

KrytensNanobots · 18/10/2017 23:57

So what? She can upload pictures of her own kids if she likes.
Her choice.
Nothing to do with you. Sorry.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 19/10/2017 00:00

If you can't tolerate pics of your own neice/nephews 3 times a week Facebook must be a constant source of misery for you.

Birdsgottafly · 19/10/2017 00:27

Social Media is for sharing whatever you want, it's not needy at all.

My DD went off FB for a bit and got bombarded with messages from older relatives who felt that they were now missing out on seeing her DD.

You get to watch the children of family and friends grow up and share holidays/birthdays etc.

I can remember visiting people and having to sit through slide shows of pictures. FB is a much better way because the user is more in control.

misssmilla1 · 19/10/2017 00:39

You should be proud of her making a life for herself and her family with no nearby support from family, and being thrown in the deep in to make friends, as its not easy in a new place. And so what if she's seeking validation in posting photos?

Do you actively like your niece and nephews and encourage updates on them? If not, this generic way pf posting on FB could be her way of ensuring friends and family that she's not geographically close to, get updates without seeming to 'spam' them. Especially if your attitude with her off FB has come across at all like in this post

GrockleBocs · 19/10/2017 00:42

She could just be sharing them to a group of family so you're seeing them but not everybody on her friends list is.

emmyrose2000 · 19/10/2017 01:58

To save her looking this way to others?

What, normal?

I don't know what your problem is, but your sister sounds perfectly normal. I have friends and family that I wish would post pics of their kids as often as three times a week. I love seeing them.

The only one coming off looking bad here is you.

OrangeCrush19 · 19/10/2017 02:03

My DB and DSIL have just had a baby. They rarely post on FB.

I could happily look at new pictures of my niece every three minutes because she’s clearly the most gorgeous baby who has ever been born.

Three times a week... pfft. If you really can’t bear it, click the unfollow button.

melj1213 · 19/10/2017 02:11

I'm glad you're not my sister OP or we'do have gone NC a long time ago as I used to post almost daily updates when DD was a baby, just like my siblings used to post pics of their kids so I could see them and be part of their lives even while I was in another country.

I lived abroad when DD was born and we only moved back 2yrs ago so the easiest way to share pics of her was to post on FB ... both for family to see and share in and because I use FB as a record of my life and it's a handy way to store media (I have had laptops die and external hard drives get stolen but I haven'the lost the pics and videos stored on them because they were also on FB)

Ifor you don't like your sister's posts then just block/unfollow/de-friend her but the it says more about you that you don't want to see pics of your niece and nephew than it does about her for posting them.

steff13 · 19/10/2017 02:25

I cannot possibly imagine why this is a problem for you. I love looking at people's pictures.

WombOfOnesOwn · 19/10/2017 02:29

Good lord. I had a friend who approached me with a very similar idea that I was "embarrassing myself" by posting one or two stories of my toddler DS and about one or two photos per week (sometimes a few photos at once, if he'd been somewhere interesting never more than 3 at a time, and rarely more than 1 at a time).

I told him he was crazy and that he'd understand when more of his friends started having kids (he's younger than me) that this was a pretty normal schedule for posts. Then I asked on Facebook for anyone who didn't want to see toddler posts to let me know so I could make sure they didn't see them. He was the only one who asked!

I think some people just get bitter or have no concept of what it's like to be proud of your little ones because they don't have them (yet).

Aquamarine1029 · 19/10/2017 04:34

This is none of your business.

NaughtyRed82 · 19/10/2017 04:45

My sister does it more than that in a week, doesn't bother me though

Tinkie25 · 19/10/2017 05:23

Yabu

I love looking at photos of my nieces and nephews.

Whambarsarentasfizzyastheywere · 19/10/2017 05:36

I can absolutely see why this issue was important enough for you to sign up to MN especially.

YAB ridiculous

zen1 · 19/10/2017 05:45

Seeking validation for what? You sound a bit over-invested in your sister's social media and it's strange that her uploading photos of her own DC is bothering you so much. You don't have to look at them, or indeed be on Facebook at all.

TealStar · 19/10/2017 05:48

I'm going to go against the grain here and say yeah three times a week is a lot especially if it's all of the same subject. Op I suggest you unfollow her but don't say anything... it is her prerogative to post what she wants. Then have a look at their stuff everynow and then when you want to. Unless you feel obliged to like everything she puts on 🙄

Csd17 · 19/10/2017 05:49

I don’t think you could say anything to her without sounding completely unreasonable. Unfollow her posts. What is it that bothers you so much about seeing the photos? They are your nieces/nephews.

TashaRomanoff · 19/10/2017 05:52

Or you could mind your own business.

KarmaNoMore · 19/10/2017 06:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 19/10/2017 06:03

You can have your FB settings to automatically post pictures as you take them. Maybe she's doing that?

NaughtToThreeSadOnions · 19/10/2017 06:05

MOST people share pictures on social media. Most parents share pictures of their children.

I do know of some that tell parents that they shouldn't post pictures of their kids for safety reasons but that it's self is for the parents to determine.

It's not for validation it's just a simple ah this is a nice picture.

You say she doesn't live near family, could it be that she thinks it's nice for her relatives to see her children Growing up as she doesn't live near you. I.e. She's actually doing it for you and your family!

I know I love seeing pictures of my god children in Ireland I miss them. I like seeing what their up too. At toddler age they change so much. There exploring their finding out new things. I love that my friend posts about them.

Your sisters behavior is normal your attitude is not!

RMC123 · 19/10/2017 06:19

Her social media. She can do what she likes. I go through phases where I post nothing and then post lots. If people don’t like they can jog on.
Three times a week is not excessive. I know people who post pictures of their kids multiple times every day.
If you don’t like either put your big girl pants on, shrug and ignore or unfollow.
Don’t start a family feud.

Trafficjammadness · 19/10/2017 06:23

Stop being ridiculous, you sound jealous/bitter. 3 times a week photos of your niece/nephew and you want her to stop. Get a grip and mind your own business

kaytee87 · 19/10/2017 06:28

I thought you were going to say 3 times a day! 3 times a week really isn’t that bad.
Yabvu she’s not being needy. I take it you don’t like your sister very much?

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