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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Another train one AIBU

80 replies

FleetwoodMacDonalds · 18/10/2017 23:03

I was on the train today with my husband. It was pretty quiet and there were loads of other available seats. He was sitting at the window seat and I had the aisle seat. We had booked our seats. After a while he announced that he needed to go to bathroom, so I let him go then sat back down.

The train pulled up at the next station a few minutes later and a woman got on. She came and stood alongside me and cleared her throat sarcastically. I gave her a smile and explained that my husband was sitting in the now-empty window seat.

"Oh, really? Well, I don't see him!"

I was taken aback at this, and replied, "He's in the bathroom."

She rolled her eyes and said, "I've heard that one before. Move up, I'm sitting there."

I was getting annoyed at this point, and said, "No, I've told you, my husband is sitting there and he is just using the toilet. Besides, there are loads of other available seats!"

She snapped back, "It's a matter of principle! You shouldn't be able to lie and block seats just because you are a selfish arsehole."

Luckily, at this point my husband returned and, oblivious, cheerfully said to the woman, "Excuse me, I just need to slip past to my seat."

The woman turned bright red and, before storming off, she snapped at me, "Well, you shouldn't have let your husband go to the bathroom near train stops, it's bound to cause confusion!"

So, I'll put it to the Mumsnet jury: WIBU to "allow" my husband to use the bathroom near a train station? Only kidding, I know that that isn't really unreasonable (or at least I hope it isn't!) But I am annoyed that I just let her walk away without saying anything. I think that I just sat there with an expression somewhere between Hmm and Confused. WWYD if you were in my position?

In my defence, and so I'm not accused of drip-feeding, it was our first time on this train route (as we are on holiday) so we didn't even realise a stop was coming up. Oops

OP posts:
AnathemaPulsifer · 18/10/2017 23:06

Wow! What an idiot. Hardly your fault you couldn't summon up an adequate response to such extreme fuckwittery when put on the spot.

SilverSpot · 18/10/2017 23:07

Wow. Just Wow. How crazy!

In these situations I like to think how horrible life must be if you are that person and always thinking the worst / getting wound up all the time

Misspollyhadadollie · 18/10/2017 23:07

I'm not surprised I've heard of people on here purposely "targeting" people sitting on the aisle seats and demanding the other seat just because they don't like people sitting in the aisle. So petty. Yanbu btw

QueuetoaskaQ · 18/10/2017 23:07

I avoid going to the toilet when the train has stopped (or will be stopping soon) as I was led to believe that you weren't allowed to flush unless the train was in motion. Grin

Didn't you have a ticket or reserved sign or something you could have shown her as 'proof. You shouldn't need to, but may have made her disappear more quickly.

Very strange why she was so eager to get your husband's seat if there were others available.

I always avoid sitting next to people if I can help it.

Original poster
FleetwoodMacDonalds · 18/10/2017 23:07

Just to be clear, where I wrote that my husband was in the seat, what I actually said to the woman was, "Sorry, that's my husband's seat." Apparently I have lost the ability to write coherently Blush Grin

OP posts:
ConciseandNice · 18/10/2017 23:09

You can't legislate for rude assholery on the train. That woman has some face on her that's for sure. It's a shame you didn't get a good loud laugh in her face before she walked off 'on principle'.

Original poster
FleetwoodMacDonalds · 18/10/2017 23:09

Queue, there was a seat reservation sign on the seat, yes. I'm kicking myself now, I should have pointed it out to her. I suppose I was just so taken aback!

Glad that so far I appear to not have been unreasonable. I just wish that I was quicker at coming up with a witty, sarcastic and brilliant response when I'm under pressure!

OP posts:
DSHathawayGivesMeFannyGallops · 18/10/2017 23:11

If you gotta go, you gotta go. Station or not- although I usually stay in ferociously guard my seat near stations for that reason. She was BU. And rude! Pointlessly, childishly so with other seats available. I would always ask about empty seats but accept the occupant might be in the loo or the buffet car etc.

Hilda40 · 18/10/2017 23:13

Do trains have bathrooms? No wonder she didn't believe you.

OutToGetYou · 18/10/2017 23:14

I often ask to go in the window seat if someone is in the aisle seat, if all the window seats are taken, because I like the window seat, not because I resent people sitting in the aisle seat. I'm glad they do, it means I can have the window seat.

Anyway, she was a twat. You do come across them now and then. Ignore it.

Original poster
FleetwoodMacDonalds · 18/10/2017 23:15

Hilda

Grin I knew as soon as I posted that someone would pick up on my use of the word bathroom! Where I'm from, that's just a word we use for the toilet. It's just a dialect thing. Although it's not the word that other areas of the country might use, I'm sure that the English language is flexible enough that people could get through their pedantry and understand what I mean Wink

OP posts:
whitehorsesdonotlie · 18/10/2017 23:24

She was fucking barking. OMG.

lalliella · 18/10/2017 23:28

Haha that's brilliant, you didn't need a comeback from that OP, she'd shamed herself sufficiently. Bet she absolutely cringed for the rest of the journey. And you massively had the moral high ground. Sometimes a dignified silence is all you need. Well done you Grin

afrikat · 18/10/2017 23:30

I avoid going to the toilet when the train has stopped (or will be stopping soon) as I was led to believe that you weren't allowed to flush unless the train was in motion

Some trains don't have retention tanks so when you flush it goes straight onto the track. Trains like this will have signs up asking you not to flush in stations. Thankfully they are getting phased out - track workers regularly get sprayed with 'poo mist' 😑
Most trains have them though

witchofzog · 18/10/2017 23:32

Hahaha I love this. What a tit that lady made of herself Grin

Original poster
FleetwoodMacDonalds · 18/10/2017 23:34

afrikat queue The train we were on was one of the older types, yes. That is why my hubby took so long. He had to wait until the train started to move again until he could flush Grin. He takes train etiquette very seriously!

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 18/10/2017 23:34

YABVU. Obviously, you should have prepared your DH for the trip better. Made him have a wee before he got on the train and not allowed him a juice box. It's people like you that give wives a bad name. How can other people's righteous indignation be properly channelled if women like you let their husbands wander off to the loo at their own convenience? Shock

afrikat · 18/10/2017 23:36

fleetwood I respect that! Stations spend a fortune cleaning crap (literally) off tracks next to platforms (I work for the railways if it wasn't obvious Smile)

MrLovebucket · 18/10/2017 23:37

I'd have smiled sweetly and said "who's an arsehole now?"

Ethylred · 18/10/2017 23:41

Too bad your husband reappeared and put an end to this priceless encounter. Inconsiderate I call that. LTB.

WorraLiberty · 18/10/2017 23:42

She rolled her eyes and said, "I've heard that one before. Move up, I'm sitting there."

She really said that??

Original poster
FleetwoodMacDonalds · 18/10/2017 23:45

Worra I really wish I was making it up! I've never experienced anything like it! I think that she was just absolutely convinced I was lying, which made her annoyed. I suppose she was just having a bad day Confused

OP posts:
TeaAndToast85 · 18/10/2017 23:45

I bet she's still cringing now. Train cow

NikiBabe · 18/10/2017 23:49

I hate people like this. They want that seat no matter what.

I was once on the top deck of a double decker bus at the front, looking out the big window at the front. The seat next to me had my bags on it. There were two people on the window seats next to me. The rest of the upper deck was empty save for 3-4 people.

Woman gets on comes upstairs and says excuse me. She wanted to sit right next to me when the whole top deck was empty. I said the whole bus is empty could you sit elsewhere please as I dont want to carry all this in my lap. I had deliberately travelled off peak so the buses would be empty for this purpose. She threw a fucking fit.

I cant imagine ever getting on an empty bus and making people move their things over just so I can have that seat.

ShellyBoobs · 19/10/2017 00:04

there was a seat reservation sign on the seat, yes. I'm kicking myself now, I should have pointed it out to her. I suppose I was just so taken aback!

To be honest, the seat reservation sign wouldn't prove much.

It was obviously showing a 'from' station which was before the the one CF got on at so could equally be interpreted as a reservation that wasn't taken up by the person who booked it.

That issue arises often on some routes because the operator allows (or even insists on) booking a seat, even when the type of ticket allows you to choose from various trains.

For example, I often book a seat on the 5.44am but the ticket itself is valid for at least 5 other trains. It can be that 50% of the reservations don't get used on some trains so people getting on without a reservation need to look for a reservation sign which is from an earlier station to find a free seat.

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