Lyrics that piss me of

[Fishface77]

I've just heard a song and one of the lyrics goes along the lines of

"....and we make love right there on your best friends couch...."

This has pissed me right of!

1. Why on your best friends couch?
2. Stains? Do you think they put a towel down first?
3. Smell? We can all smell sex!
4. What if he walks in on you?

CockacidalManiac

Most of the top 40 has been absolute trash for the last 5 years at least. Everything sounds the same.

This is the 21st century equivalent of watching TOTP and saying ‘look at his long hair, he looks just like a girl’

I have no idea what this means.

IHope I say that every time I hear Alberqueque on the radio!

All of "You were always on my mind".
Translation- I've been a cockwomble but I thought about you a lot so that's OK, right?

Penguin27 I think that was one of the Jonas brothers, not Jason Derulo

Your point is still valid though - he's clearly a clingy whining twatbadger and she's better off without him

Point Break - Freakytime

"You want me all the way up, I want you half way down"

Er... nah

Don't Stand So Close To Me: "he starts to shake and cough, just like that old man in that book by Nabakov" aaarrgghhhhh that is the most pretentious line EVER!!!

I agree.
It doesn’t piss me off, but the ‘skaters on a fruitcake’ lyric from a Lilac Time song is very daft.

*I have no idea what this means’

It’s the kind of thing that people say when they get old.

Anyone mentioned 'Jolene'

"I'm beggin of you please don't take my man" ... blah blah... "just because you can"

Nope - bloody man shouldn't be looking at frigging Jolene when he's spoken for, never mind you begging her not to take him!

Daisy in Spaced thinks it's almond cookies

Forgot to add @elQuintoConyo

The weeknd- Half past five.

Your man on the road, he doin' promo
You said, "Keep our business on the low-low"
I'm just tryna get you out the friend zone
Cause you look even better than the photos
I can't find your house, send me the info
Drivin' through the gated residential
Found out I was comin', sent your friends home
Keep on tryna hide it but your friends know
I only call you when it's half past five
The only time that I'll be by your side
I only love it when you touch me, not feel me
When I'm fucked up, that's the real me
When I'm fucked up, that's the real me, yeah
I only call you when it's half past five
The only time I'd ever call you mine
I only love it when you touch me, not feel me
When I'm fucked up, that's the real me
When I'm fucked up, that's the

I'ma let you know and keep it simple
Tryna keep it up don't seem so simple
I just fucked two bitches 'fore I saw you
And you gon' have to do it at my tempo
Always tryna send me off to rehab
Drugs started feelin' like it's decaf
I'm just tryna live life for the moment
And all these motherfuckers want a relapse

Ah trick, thanks for letting me know

Also, twatbadger 😂😂

Although no one understood, we were holding back the flood
Learning how to dance the rain
There was more of them than us
Now they'll never dance again

Fucking hate Take That.

Oh man, who had that horrible song about finding his cheerleader,
"she is always right there when I need her"
And he is the wizard of love with a magic wand of love or something.
Ugh

"Can I have your daughter for the rest of my life?
Say yes, say yes 'cause I need to know....
...... I'm gonna marry her anyway"

WELL WHY DID YOU BLOODY ASK THEN??!

Dj Khaled and Rihanna- Wild thoughts.

I don't know if you could take it
Know you wanna see me nakey, nakey, naked
I wanna be your baby, baby, baby
Spinning and it's wet just like it came from Maytag
White girl wasted on that brown liquor
When I get like this I can't be around you
I'm too lit to dim down a notch
'Cause I could name some thangs that I'm gon' do

Ayy, I heard that pussy for the taking
I heard it got these other nggas goin' crazy
Yeah I treat you like a lady, lady
Fck you 'til you're burned out, cremation
Make it cream, yeah, Wu-Tang
Throw that ass back, bouquet
Call me and I can get it juicy
I can tell you're gone off the D'usse
Careful mama watch what you say
You talking to me like ya new bae
Girl, talking to me like you tryna do things
Now that pipe got her running like she Usain, baby
You made me drown in it, touche, baby
I'm carrying that water, Bobby Boucher, baby
You know I'ma slaughter like I'm Jason
Bust it, why you got it on safety?
White girl wasted on brown liquor
I probably shouldn't be around you
'Cause you get wild, wild, wild
You looking like there's nothing that you won't do
Ayy, girl that's when I told you

CockacidalManiac

Ah, well i’m 25 but you might as well call me ‘Grandma’.

You're very welcome penguin, can't have you undermining your own rage by getting your misogynistic twats mixed up

I think the whole swearword+animal=awesome insult is my favourite thing about Mumsnet

Why does Ed Sheeran in ‘I’m A Mess’ want his love interest to ‘put her faith in [his] stomach’. Hopefully I’ve misheard because it’s a dumb lyric!

Aargh! Those are truly horrible lyrics Music.

Really dislike all the rapey and misogynistic lyrics out there, Blurred Lines being the classic example.

That Jason Derullo song that is just a thinly veiled paean to blow jobs ‘Swalla’:

All you girls in here, if you're feeling thirsty
Come on take a sip 'cause you know what I'm servin', ooh
Shimmy shimmy yay, shimmy yay, shimmy ya (drank)
Freaky, freaky gyal
My freaky, freaky gyal
Shimmy shimmy shimmy yay, shimmy yah
Bad girls gon' swalla-la-la
Bust down on my wrist in this bitch
My pinky-ring bigger than his
Met her out in Beverly Hills, ay
Etc etc

That awful Rihanna song ‘Rude Boy’:

Come here rude boy, boy
Can you get it up
Come here rude boy, boy
Is you big enough
Take it, take it (yeah)
Baby, baby (yeah)
Take it, take it (yeah)
Love me, love me (yeah)
Tonight
I'mma let you be the captain
Tonight
I'mma let you do your thing, yeah
Tonight
I'mma let you be a rider
Giddy up
Giddy up
Giddy up, babe

Remember my blissfully unaware pre teens singing along to that enthusiastically

Do I Have To Say The Words by Bryan Adams. I don't believe there's anybody, male or female, who wouldn't want their beloved to say they love them now and again.

Anything by Oasis. Their only good lines are copied from other people. The rest are just rubbish made deliberately obscure so people will think they're sophisticated.

^And so, Sally can wait
She knows it's too late as we're walking on by
Her soul slides away
But don't look back in anger
I heard you say^

Now that's pretentious rubbish. By contrast, nothing wrong with Sting's line about Nabakov. It's just comparing the teacher to the dirty old man in the book, unless you think that admitting to reading Lolita is pretentious.

Nothig

Justin Timberlake

Ain't nobody loves you like I love you
You're a good girl and that's what makes me trust you

'Good girl' makes me cringe

Pitbull

Face down, booty up, Timber

Also nearly everything by Eminem/ Kanye/

I think the whole swearword+animal=awesome insult is my favourite thing about Mumsnet

My favourite is cuntpuffin

Oh god - cuntpuffin is a stroke of genius!

I don't want to see a ghost,
It's a sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
And watch the evening news

Good ol' Desree