DH won't cancel with some friends he sees regularly to meet with other friends we haven't seen much lately

[revolution909]

DH meets with some friends if his every Friday that's pretty much every Friday and very rarely gets canceled. We meet with some other friends (these ones are more mutual but DH can take them or leave them). Because of childcare and life in general, we haven't been able to see the Saturday ones in more than a month. We were originally supposed to see them on Saturday but they have childcare issues so suggested Friday instead. The Friday friends were likely to cancel because a friend of theirs was visiting but nothing has been confirmed. I thought the best solution was to cancel the Friday friends (as they might cancel anyways!) and see the others instead. DH basically said NO because he appreciates the continuity and routine of meeting his friends on Friday. I feel he's being unreasonable and inflexible because he's seen his friends and I haven't seen mine so it would make sense to put them first? Who's being unreasonable?

It's more like this:

boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/221107/pandemic-legacy-season-2

But it honestly takes way more than the stated hour. Especially if they fail and they want to try again.

They also play this one;

boardgamegeek.com/boardgame/174430/gloomhaven

Gaming table:

www.boardgametables.com/

So - every Friday your DHs friends come round to a cooked dinner and hosting, provided by you? How lovely . God forbid they and your DH should miss out on their weekly eat drink & chill. Go out and meet your mates by yourself. Your DH is home isn't he? So perfectly placed to look after the DCs. He can cook, I presume? If it's all too much then his mates can bring a dish which I presume isn't an issue since they've been well covered by not having too cook on Fridays

In fact make your visit to your friends a monthly occurrence from now onwards...

Totally with you, Mistress. They're a bunch of chancers.

I think you need to get some new friends. I am perplexed that you view the Sunday morning running in the same way as the Friday evening. And as for wanting to get use of the gaming table because it was expensive, that’s a nuts argument. Have you read the fallacy of sunken costs? link

Can't you see them without him

I like to cook, cooking is not the problem! In fact I welcome it as i get to cook and bake, while I share the calories with more people (as a competitive runner I follow a very specific diet). I like thinking about menus and all of that, seriously I actually enjoy that part.

His friends bring food but it would never be according to my "running" nutritional needs, easier to just cook (and again I enjoy it so no big deal!)

Bizarrely my friends almost only like to meet as couples, or as pay dates.. In the years we've been closed friends I've never had a girls night out with her for example..

The Sunday morning is the best way to make an equivalence to my hobby vs his. BUT he does have to leave from work early so I can go to club. He has to take days off work so he can go and support me at my various races (every two months). He'll move his schedule around not on demand but on a short notice if my own work schedule conflicts with my running one.

I don't mind having these folks around in fact I'm fairly friendly with them and we have a nice time during dinner, my only complaint was how inflexible he was being.

the problem with this is that your DH has essentially prebooked every Friday night with these friends indefinitely. So even if you wanted to do something on a Friday next March with your friends, DH has already reserved it

^ Well then this what you aren't seeing, OP. He's happy with the status quo and doesn't want to change it. So the onus appears to be on you unless he is aiming to prevent you from meeting your friends alone - it doesn't actually sound as if he is.

So..go. He will be with his friends. You said they bring food with them; they can have the food they wish, even better for them as their food when you are around is controlled via what you want to eat in accordance with your running hobby hence you won't eat what they bring and make them eat what you cook

It would seem Fridays are well and truly booked

Yup, that's the bottomline. I don't think Fridays ad infinitum should be booked. I think it's ok as an irregular arrangement but there should be room for cancelling.

The other reason why i have ended up cooking is because is apparently "very rude" not to eat what they bring. So to avoid that I cook. I also get that it must be fairly boring for them that on friday's they have to have a very protein rich meal and every now and then it's basically carbs on carbs :/