AIBU to worry about "all night' aspect of 16th party?

[themiddlebit]

Oh dear it's finally happened DS 15 years (nearly 16) has been invited to a proper 16th Birthday party... (this is not the problem – i want him to have a social life!).
But the info I have been given so far is:
It's a girl's party called x. She lives in a village fairly near where we live... but a good 20 minutes drive away... Apparently her Mum is 'definitely' going to be there... And four of his male mates have also been invited.
So at this point I'm just thinking about 'what the alcohol situation' would be, and logistics. So I say 'okay' but I would need a definite pick-up time and alcohol discussion. He then says that they are all staying over. Apparently she is having tents put up in her garden.
I expressed concern immediately and then son closed down saying I wish I hadn.t told you – I should have just dropped it on you nearer the time...
After much thought (most of the night!!) I am wondering if IABU to think that as a newbie to any type of party an all night situation is just way to risky for this age group. Also if the mother is offering this AIBU to think that she is irresponsible to think that she can look after the wellfare of so many 15/16 year olds who are very likely to have been drinking?
I barely know the friends he has ben invited with let alone anyone else who may be going... ie no one to call and have a chat. Help!

I agree with other posters suggesting speaking to friends parents. It's what I would do, and want to have contact details, details of the party, how many kids will be there etc.

I think he’s sensible and trustworthy just by asking you and you reciprocate the trust, as the next time he will just tell you he’s sleeping at a male friends and lie. From 14 I was attending these type of parties, yes there was alcohol, yes there was sex, yes there was drugs (mainly weed, a few people dabbled in pills but I always avoided them). I lied to my parents and in hindsight it was a stupid thing to do as if something did happen they wouldn’t have a clue where I was. I’m 30 now and I’m a function tee-total person without a drug problem and never had an unwanted pregnancy so I think I turned out ok having crazy teenage parties. Let him live a bit. I work in a university and some of the 18 year olds that go absolutely mental because they have had no taste of freedom is scary.

I would have had no problem with DS1, who's now 27, going to things like this, but that's because he doesn't like the taste of alcohol and has shown no signs of being interested in either sex. I do realise that he's very unusual though! 😂

I have a 15 year old and an 18 year old, both boys, and there's a huge difference between their approach to stuff like this.

The 18 year old has learned, from drinking too much himself, seeing his friends pass out, and other horrific things going on at parties such as sex videos being posted online, where to draw the line.

The 15 year old is new to most of this and hasn't yet learned the boundaries. I don't stop him going to parties or sleeping over if I know the parents, but if I don't, I pick him up as, if he's drunk, I want to be the one dealing with he consequences, not leaving it to some random stranger.