To ask if I'm over-feeding my daughter?

[RogerThatOver]

DD is 10 and her best friend is super skinny. Apparently some other 'friends' have been comparing them and referring to DD as her 'fat friend' I spoke to her best friends mum about this in passing and she said something about perhaps it's because they see how much lunch DD has compared to them. When pressed, she said DDs lunch was 3x the side of everyone else's (she works as a dinner lady at their school.)

Today, DD had:

A wholemeal ham sandwich with two slices of bread
3 slices of cucumber
Carrot sticks
A Frube
Some chicken breast
Strawberries and grapes
4 x tuc crackers
A custard cream

Her friends mum said most children have sandwiches and crisps only so I can see how her lunch looks big, but it isn't unhealthy so I don't see the issue - or am I missing something? She was going straight to a netball tounament after school until 6 and only had a banana for breakfast so I think she would be starving if she only had a sandwich and crispsfor lunch. For dinner she had 4 meatballs, pasta, salad and a slice of garlic bread followed by pineapple and custard.

What do you think, is it too much for an active 10 year old?

My Ds typically has 2 large pittas with houmous, a packet of pom bears, tomatoes, Clementine and whole packet of ginger oatcakes or choc chip ones-there are five in a pack. He Is very skinny, never full up and that's a family joke. If we go to a restaurant he has a meal that is adult portion size. They had their year 6 NHS weight assessment and he memorised weight and he's around 15 percentile. However, he is very active, he's in the cross country running club at school, plays football at break and then after school in the park opposite school for an hour and we walk to and from school which totals nearly 4 miles a day.

I don't understand the argument on here when adult posters suggest it's too much based upon their own consumption as an active adult. My preteen son can eat much more than me, even as an active adult, probably almost the same as my active husband. I thought children at this age and level of activity need the calories to grow. Indeed, any active adult I know that ate the same as my DS would gain weight.

The name calling is completely unacceptable and I would be upset if my DD spoke like that now at 6 to her friends, let alone when she is 10 and old enough to know better.

I don't think it sounds like that much food.
You could make it look smaller if you wanted by adding salad to the sandwich rather than doing veggie sticks seperated. Or doing a small tub of yoghurt with fruit stirred into it rather than yoghurt and fruit as seperate items. The food intake would be the same but look like less iyswim.

The people horrified at serving your child pasta and garlic bread

Yeah, good point Kaytee.

Thing is it sounds like she's not having breakfast and then won't have a snack after either so it would amount to the same calories.

My toddler generally refuses breakfast, has a huuuge lunch and a small dinner.

If you just look at his lunch, he'd definitely be overweight, but seeing as he regulates his intake the rest of the time he's ok.

Maybe give her an after school snack instead (when it's an option).

I think looking at the size of her lunch is a red herring.

Look at her objectively - is she overweight? If no, everyone else can do one.

Other friends might eat more at breakfast, more snacks, or might just have smaller appetites or be less active. You can't judge anything from one meal in isolation.