Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To buy my DD lots of pink things?

103 replies

BAMBOOO20 · 17/10/2017 18:34

After recent comments from family members, I’m hoping you can help me to figure out if I’m getting this massively wrong.

DD1 is 4. She is very obsessed with the colour pink. She loves dolls and she loves make up (glued herself to my side while I do mine every morning). If given a choice of products, she always wants pink.

When she was younger, I gave her very much a mixture of toys & games and certainly didn’t always choose the more stereotypically girly option although I possibly did buy more pink than blue. Her preferences were clear very early on in terms of toys & books etc.

It has just been her birthday, I don’t buy her much throughout the year so buy her quite few bits & bobs that she has asked for at her birthdays. As expected, these were all very much “pink & fluffy”.

The way I see it is if had a son and he liked these things (the things which my DD does), i wouldn’t force trucks, diggers & superheroes on him. I’d follow his lead, as I’ve done with DD.

Basically, I’ve had family members saying she should be given more gender neutral toys etc and having a bit of a dig at me. Have I got this whole thing wrong? Should I get her the gender neutral option rather than the pink one, if she likes the pink one best?

OP posts:

halesie · 17/10/2017 23:34

I try hard not to gender stereotype. Am gutted that my pink loving 6yo now thinks it's for girls (because the girls in his class told him so).

This is the best summary I've seen (sorry Idk who to credit):

Icanhearmynebioursshouting · 17/10/2017 23:43

Everyone wants to have an opinion about everything these days. Tell them to piss off she likes pink. If they like a certain food would you tell them not to have it...no

Redglitter · 17/10/2017 23:48

Something like a bike, which you might want to hand on, then no

Why should that be a consideration. Even if is a bike if she wants a pink bike why shouldn't she have one. Why on earth would you buy something in a colour a child didn't want just incase it was being passed on

SleepingStandingUp · 17/10/2017 23:55

tethersend has it spot on

The only reason pink is her favourite colour is because she's been conditioned by society to choose it. It's got nothing to do with the colour itself.
If OP said her favorite color was green or red, we'd accept it but because its pink she can't possibly like it really. Presumably boys can like pink of their own choice just not girls

emmyrose2000 · 18/10/2017 05:24

Your relatives are ridiculous and need to mind their own business and also grow up.

If this is the only thing they have to focus on then they need to get a life.

user1497357411 · 18/10/2017 08:39

I grew up in the seventies. I really liked pink and so did several of my friends, but oh no, that was a girlie colour, so not only was it "wrong", because it wasn't gender neutral, it was practically impossible to find anything pink. We got orange, brown and green instead. I freaking hate those colours now (and then). It totally sucks when you can't get the colour you like because other people connect something political with it. Also we got the message that it was wrong to like girlie things because it was wrong to be girlie. Not really a good message to send to your children. I know it wasn't the message our parents or the toys and clothes producers were trying to send, but that was the message we received.

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin · 18/10/2017 08:51

My daughter was like this between 2-4 by the time she was 5 she was totally over the pink phase and now she's 10 she denies ever even liking Disney princesses when she was little even though I have loads of pictures of her in all the outfits she insisted on wearing everywhere. It's done her no harm at all. Instead of being a fairy when she grows up she now wants to be prime minister and "show that theresa may how it's done"

Seriously I wouldn't worry too much let her enjoy being a small child for the short amount of time she is one.

nonevernotever · 18/10/2017 08:57

I would do as others have suggested and buy her some pink things and some other things. The only thing I would say is that pink bikes sold for girls are often really only specced for light use around eg the park and are too heavy /slow for enjoyable cycling. (the worst offenders I've seen prioritise beads and tassels over smooth gearing and a light frame) At a time when it's increasingly important to keep girls interested in sport, I'd always go for the best cycling bike I could afford, in the knowledge that it will also hold it's value better when it's outgrown.

WhatwouldAryado · 18/10/2017 09:07

It's light red.

cheminotte · 18/10/2017 09:19

I think it makes sense not to get pink for the more durable / expensive items in case her tastes change. Big ticket items like buggies coming in pink and blue versions sounds like a marketing con to me, so people buy different versions for each child rather than handing down. But OP already has 2 DDs so maybe not a big issue.
I agree that you should make sure there are non pink options in her toy collection as well, e.g. Lego not just the pink version.

Amanduh · 18/10/2017 09:23

I love pink. Don't worry about it OP, you're not doing anything wrong. Let her enjoy her pink fluffy things!

Justanothernameonthepage · 18/10/2017 09:24

Get her the pink thing's. Tell the others that they are welcome to buy what they like. She might fall in love with an unexpected toy, but at least you know there are some bits she'll be happy with. (But maybe ask what her other favourite colours are and share those with family)

Justanothernameonthepage · 18/10/2017 09:28

But if she likes active stuff (bikes/football etc) or Science/engineering stuff seek professional advice. Sometimes they do the best in a range of colours, more often it's best stuff at one level, 'pink' at a lower level.

Cutesbabasmummy · 18/10/2017 09:35

What bollocks! I am nearly 42 and still adore pink! If I had a little girl I would choose pink for her especially if that was what she wanted. I have DS almost three. He has a wide choice of toys but lives Buzz Lightyear best!

FeralBeryl · 18/10/2017 10:03

As long as no one is forcing her to choose pink, and giving her options of other colours, I see no issue. That cartoon further up is great.
DD2 loved pink everything. She hit 5 then decided she now hates it and loves blue. Teal blue if you please
DD3 still loves pink but also loves George Pig, she is a beautiful contradiction of pink glittery shit and dark blue pig covered items as is her room.
Wrt toys, if it’s a kitchen, I get the kitchen coloured one, not pink, not blue, if it’s a toy hoover, not pink or blue etc.
Just a bit of common sense. That’s all we need.
I’m like a magpie for glittery tat, but was raised very much as a tomboy in dungarees ( they were acceptable in the 70’s don’t judge! ) because I was given the choice to do what I enjoyed best.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 18/10/2017 10:07

I'm 42 and love pink! I also love football, cricket and Formula One. If she likes pink things let her have pink things.

dentydown · 18/10/2017 10:19

My son went through a pink phase when he was 3. I just rolled with it. He may occasionally make one of his online cars hot pink, but that’s it now. Relatives commented, which got ignored

Frenchmom · 18/10/2017 10:29

Surely the whole gender neutral thing is based on an individual's right to choose. If she chooses to be pink and girly -and by what you say, that is her choice - then I don't think it's a problem. She'll tell you quick enough if she doesn't like it.

Justanothernap · 18/10/2017 10:45

I think it's interesting that traditionally girly things have come to be 'bad'

As others have said no one colour or toy or item is wrong as long as there is choice. So pink & blue for boys and girls..... as well as every other colour.

As an aside - I did worry a bit I was teaching my girl to be overly subservient, fulfill a caring role... please, thank you, help your baby brother etc. Until I realised in the main it's just basic manners & I'll teach the same to her brother. And that's the important bit.

I also realised it's possible to overthink this & I was in danger of being a total nit.

Ignore the relatives OP they sound pretty rude.

Morphene · 18/10/2017 10:48

Your confident that the pink obsession is all her own idea in spite of the fact that you painted her room pink when she was little and everything she sees on TV, computer games, advertising and in shops is telling her that girls should like pink?

Really?

Your job as a parent is to counteract the negative stereotyping messages coming from society and advertisers in particular. You should be steering her away from pink in the same way you should steer her away from thinking smoking and drugs are 'cool' (which she will undoubtedly encounter as she gets older).

AndrewJames · 18/10/2017 10:48

If she chooses to be pink and girly -and by what you say, that is her choice - then I don't think it's a problem

True, but OP should keep an eye on what she is doing to push that choice to her dd as the best one. She painted her room pink and bought lots of pink things long before the child could express a preference.

Justanothernap · 18/10/2017 10:53

The colour pink is not comparable to smoking or drugs!

juddyrockingcloggs · 18/10/2017 11:03

On what planet is a child having pink things in any way the same as being addicted to drugs?

Poorlybabe4 · 18/10/2017 11:11

I think this is all silly. If she likes pink its fine! Most girls do any way. As they get older their likes and dislikes change anyway. Its not a bad thing that she is girly or likes pink. Its really not important. And so what if you 'influenced' the liking of pink for girls boys for blue. Its really only a colour and a first world issue
Its not like she was told she cant be a mechanic or whatever when shes older!

PathologyGeek · 18/10/2017 11:20

I am all for equality and supports the idea offering children gender neutral toys. My daughter has dolls, a garage, hairdressing tools and carpentry equipment… Her clothing was always primary colours white or grey. Age 4, she loves pink, Barbie dolls, Disney princesses. She preferred ballet dancing to piano lessons. Each birthday and Christmas I will endeavour to get her something that challenges her main interests but ultimately I want to get us some think she will enjoy and treasure and if that means pink so be it.

My daughter will be expected to achieve at school within her ability and that to me is more important in terms of keeping her equal with boys, than insisting she doesn't have pink.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5