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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated by men on dating sites who are hurtling towards (and sometimes, past) 40...

119 replies

Snaf · 11/04/2007 19:03

..and yet still specify that all they are interested in meeting is women in their 20s with no kids?

Do they seriously think there is an underground bunker somewhere just outside the M25 full of nubile 21-year-olds just gagging to fondle their balding pate?

Gah.

OP posts:
chocolattegirl · 11/04/2007 20:41

I was asked out by a 40-year old with 4 kids when I was 21. I couldn't get away from his fast enough.

He was reasonably fit..... but not that fit.... .

Shudders at realisation he must be now in mid-fifties

dumbymummy · 11/04/2007 20:42

Am I alone in thinking that internet dating is a bit ... is a bit (bites her lip waiting for trouble she doesn't need) odd?

lou33 · 11/04/2007 20:42

wotzsa, the younger men i have known have been v nice ty

chocolattegirl · 11/04/2007 20:56

Nowt wrong with internet dating as long as you take reasonable care when meeting new people.... better than being picked up in meat markets of night clubs when you're in your 30s .

KathyMCMLXXII · 11/04/2007 21:01

LOL @ OP.
I remember this from when I was internet dating. Now, I would have had no objection to going out with someone as much as 20 years older than me but there is no way I would go out with someone who liked me because I was younger than them.

DH has a cousin who has spent a lot of time looking for a young blonde supermodel type despite being forty and balding himself. He has just moved back in with his mum, which I think says it all....

NKffffffffee0f7f95X1118efd8f2d · 11/04/2007 21:11

Presumably some of the desire for a younger women with no kids is about wanting the possibility of a family oneself. That plus a secret fantasy to be Rod Steward.

NKffffffffee0f7f95X1118efd8f2d · 11/04/2007 21:12

Rod Stewart even

lou33 · 11/04/2007 21:45

i think by the time you are in your 30's you shouldnt be waiting to be picked up, you should be doingit yourself

carol3 · 11/04/2007 21:55

very true lou

Sobernow · 11/04/2007 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lou33 · 11/04/2007 22:03

i'd be interested to hear this answer too sobernow

Sobernow · 11/04/2007 22:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Snaf · 11/04/2007 22:12

Who's waiting to be picked up, lou?

I work full-time in a very female-oriented environment. The only men I meet are either gynaecologists (enough said) or expectant fathers (apparently it's generally considered bad form to hit on them in the delivery room...) So, what's a girl to do?

OP posts:
lou33 · 11/04/2007 22:13

i have an age range because i just get on better with that group

not to do with anything else

Original poster
Snaf · 11/04/2007 22:14

Well exactly, sobernow. I have given the benefit of the doubt now and then and assumed that it's because they all want to start gorgeous families of their own with these fresh, nubile lovelies...but I doubt it. I thik it's just vanity and a fear of old age

OP posts:
lou33 · 11/04/2007 22:15

couldnt you hit on them while she was busy giving the first feed?
it would divert her attentiuon

i've nevre been one to wait for a move to be made so i probably have a different perspective

i've always just gone for the man in my sight

suejonez · 11/04/2007 22:16

I once had a (then) 30 something boyfriend who explained to me that what he really wanted was a 20 something attractive blonde with a brain and a good job (he was serious not fantasising). When I stopped laughing I explained that a short balding selfish git heading for 40 probably wasn;t her idea of prince charming.

We split up not long after.

suejonez · 11/04/2007 22:18

I was once (when bored) surfing around a dating website and discovered a (married) male friend claiming to be divorced and lying about his age (knocked five years off)

lou33 · 11/04/2007 22:27
Shock
Earlybird · 11/04/2007 22:32

sue - did you let him know you'd spotted him?

MrsWho · 11/04/2007 22:36

Glad its not just me that gets depressed about this sort of thing!
Both my cousins are dating blokes 10-12 years older than them and I know of many othersthat do tootherefore creaming off the age range that I want!
I did meet a bloke who was 12 years older than me but he was nearly 40 and it felt too much of a difference.

MrsWho · 11/04/2007 22:37

at Sue!

turquoise · 11/04/2007 22:44

They all knock at least five years off their age. It's a sad fact of life - 40something single men want 20-30something totty, and there are so many mid 30 ish single women with biological clocks ticking away that they are happy to butter up the fat balding egos.

That said, I've just come back from a 3rd date with a 40 yo divorced man and it was very, very nice ... so there is hope!

Which site was it Snaf?

expatinscotland · 11/04/2007 22:46

Oh, they're a joke. I dated a guy like this when I was 31. I told him at the end of the date that I was obviously too old for him.

[Rolls eyes]

harman · 11/04/2007 22:46

Message withdrawn

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