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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be envious of mothers who get days to themselves?

63 replies

Honeybooboo123 · 16/10/2017 15:22

I've spent some time today dreaming about a day in about 3 weeks when I will have a day off work, DC will be at School/nursery and DH will be at work.

I will have a whole day to myself. Just me. To do as I please. Overwhelmed with the possibilities.

I work 4 days and on my day off I have my younger DC with me. I have a SIL who has school age children and doesn't work so she has 5 days a week to herself.

AIBU to be very envious?

OP posts:
Myheartbelongsto · 16/10/2017 15:23

Oh god no, enjoy!

notacooldad · 16/10/2017 15:26

It's just different life choices you have made.
Be happy in your world or change it.
Envy isn't a nice emotion to feel.

Enjoy your day but I would suggest you do something good that you don't normally have time for whether it's a mountain walk, swim or a coffee somewhere nice. Just don't get bogged down in mundane chores!

BeerBaby · 16/10/2017 15:27

You are not BU. I'm so lucky after 9 years of not a minute to me I now get 12 hours a week 😁. It's bliss but it's been well earned! It will happen eventually.

UnbornMortificado · 16/10/2017 15:29

Nope.

I've three DC and always in the past had family on board to babysit and help out. I know I've been lucky.

Then DS came along he's on oxygen so no one dares look after him.

Enjoy your day.

ItsOutThere · 16/10/2017 15:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nottwins · 16/10/2017 15:32

God no - it's hard having so little time; make sure you enjoy every moment!

But do plan in advance what you want to do that you can't do with DC around. I get a morning a week to myself and it makes me really grumpy when I don't use it effectively.

Definitely no chores...

wobblywonderwoman · 16/10/2017 15:37

I love to have an hour. I haven't really had a day in four years. But it is taking its toll.

Enjoy your day. I wouldn't feel envy over your sister in law - life has a funny way of giving us all different positives and burdens i suppose- though it is hard to always see it.

Laura2018 · 16/10/2017 15:37

No we all get envious from time to time. But don't make the mistake of thinking you are better than SIL because she is a SAHM! Us women need to support our different life choices x 🌸

museumum · 16/10/2017 15:40

A treat is only a treat if it's rare. So five days off a week every week would not feel nearly so wonderfully deliciously amazing as your one day off will feel.

tissuesosoft · 16/10/2017 15:41

I work part time (teacher) so DD is in part time term time only childcare. Once a week during the school holidays I send DD to the childminder and have a day to myself (DP works shifts). DD loves it as she sees her friends, DP gets more downtime than me as a lot of his days off are when we are at work/childcare and I get to veg on the sofa for the day!

CorbynsBumFlannel · 16/10/2017 15:42

Can you not go out alone or have your dh take the kids for a day at the weekend or do you work opposite shifts?

Ecureuil · 16/10/2017 15:45

I get a regular 3 hours a week when both DC are at pre school together, it’s bliss! However DH will often take them out at the weekend so I get some ‘me time’ then too.

Crunchymum · 16/10/2017 15:49

Was due to have 2 days a week to myself come next September and I had grand plans to become a domestic goddess and get fit may even take up an elusive MN hobby Grin

Alas I'll not have an 8 month old so it's I'll have some time to myself.... in September 2021 Shock

Crunchymum · 16/10/2017 15:49

Not = Now

thedivision · 16/10/2017 15:51

DS is at nursery part-time and I'm a sahm so I get three mornings a week to myself, it's definitely bliss! But it's swings and roundabouts really, some people look down on me for being a sahm and financially we'd be better off if I worked. We have to do without things that others take for granted in a two-income household, but that's the choice we made.

Underparmummy · 16/10/2017 15:55

Congrats crunchymum!

I too have one day off a week that I spend with my toddler OP. DH thinks I'll be in the office 5 days a week when toddler starts school.... Hmm..

I have started using annual leave to have the odd day to myself. Sometimes from necessity (last week I had a day off to attend2 school things for the dc but still have 3.5 hours to myself in-between) and sometimes to do planned, fun things.

neveradullmoment99 · 16/10/2017 15:56

I have a Thursday and Friday to myself [ or until the children are back from school]
Its bliss.

neveradullmoment99 · 16/10/2017 15:57

..every week. I work jobshare and have been tempted to back to work full time but havent!

BWN2012 · 16/10/2017 15:57

Enjoy your day off and don't think too much about your SIL. I'm sure she fills her time.

StewPots · 16/10/2017 15:58

Absolutely not BU OP, enjoy!

My DS is at nursery for three days a week whilst I'm at work to take pressure off my mum as DH is away with work a lot so on my days off he's with me...which is fine, my life choices etc but I do fantasise about a day off work where I'm not caught up in entertaining DS, doing housework, doing my diploma etc!

A whole day! I'd go sit in a naice coffee shop, read a paper in peace without DS clambering over me and practically ripping the pages , mooch round the shops actually taking the time to look at things rather than rush in and out, go home, watch a TV show I like rather than Paw bastard Patrol, have a long hot bath and order takeaway.

Ooh OP I'm envious! Enjoy! And think that SIL must get bored by the way...I couldn't do that everyday to be fair, it would get dull very quickly!

MrsTerryPratchett · 16/10/2017 16:00

Does your DH never take the children anywhere?

Tilapia · 16/10/2017 16:00

Like previous posters, I had several years with no (regular) time to myself, but now my DC are all school age and I work three days and it's fab!

When your youngest starts school could you carry on working four days or will you have to go full time?

ScallopedEdge · 16/10/2017 16:02

I'll have 15 hours a week (ish) to myself soon for the first time in about 8 years. I can't wait. I also have plans of becoming a domestic goddess and being the fittest I've been in a long time...I think the reality will involve naps. DS nearly 3 and still doesn't sleep through the night.

MrsOsM · 16/10/2017 16:06

I was really looking forward to a week in December i had taken the whole week off for Dd's birthday, DH should be working 3 days and DD would be in nursery one of these days so I was getting 1 whole day to myself.
Every time DH takes a weeks holiday he gets at least 1 day to himself when DD is in nursery, usually more as my mum sometimes takes DD a day too. Whenever I take any holidays usually it is because I don't have any other childcare so have been looking forward to this one day for months already, it's still a couple of months away.
DH announced a couple of weeks ago he has taken the same week off as he had extra holidays to use before the year end so why not?!?
To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. DH was very amused at my reaction and offered to spend the day at a friend's house to give me my day but we decided to spend a rare child free day together instead.
I'm still a little disappointed to be honest. Grin

SolemnlySwear2010 · 16/10/2017 16:07

I am currently on the train to stay in a different city for 2 nights due to work commitments.

I had a little cry this morning as I've never left my DD for this long, but i am now getting excited to be able to have a nice resturant meal and go for a hot bath/ relax without a toddler wanting to join

My DH is at home and is loving having time with DD as they can do things that i wouldn't allow - ice cream after lunch, staying awake late