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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be envious of mothers who get days to themselves?

63 replies

Honeybooboo123 · 16/10/2017 15:22

I've spent some time today dreaming about a day in about 3 weeks when I will have a day off work, DC will be at School/nursery and DH will be at work.

I will have a whole day to myself. Just me. To do as I please. Overwhelmed with the possibilities.

I work 4 days and on my day off I have my younger DC with me. I have a SIL who has school age children and doesn't work so she has 5 days a week to herself.

AIBU to be very envious?

OP posts:

SolemnlySwear2010 · 16/10/2017 16:07

I am currently on the train to stay in a different city for 2 nights due to work commitments.

I had a little cry this morning as I've never left my DD for this long, but i am now getting excited to be able to have a nice resturant meal and go for a hot bath/ relax without a toddler wanting to join

My DH is at home and is loving having time with DD as they can do things that i wouldn't allow - ice cream after lunch, staying awake late

baffledcoconut · 16/10/2017 16:08

I had a day to myself a few weeks back. It was so overwhelming that I had a panic attack that I wouldn’t use the day to its full extent

LewisThere · 16/10/2017 16:10

I would plan a day off some time to time during the weekend.
Having some time off doesn't have to be during the week. It can a,so happen at the weekend (and might well be easier to organise)

splendide · 16/10/2017 16:14

I feel pretty envious of people with regular time to themselves.

I work ft and have DS all weekend and mornings and evenings. I would love a few hours a week to call mine, just to go swimming or something. Maybe one day.

SuburbanRhonda · 16/10/2017 16:17

unborn

PandorasXbox · 16/10/2017 16:22

Having time alone is crucial for our well being. Enjoy your day OP and make the most of it!

SamanthaBrique · 16/10/2017 16:22

Why can't your DH take them for a few hours at the weekend OP, so that you can have some time to yourself?

MuseumOfCurry · 16/10/2017 16:23

I found those early years pretty suffocating at time, OP.

Take heart - my kids are now 11 and 15 and I have as much time to myself as I like. It's great, I read books and go to Pilates etc.

At the risk of sounding sentimental, I would roll the clock back 10 years in a heartbeat - but it is incredibly gruelling.

mindutopia · 16/10/2017 16:24

Honestly, no, I wouldn't be envious of her. That sounds boring as heck. I enjoy my rare days completely to myself and I have a few a year. But I would be bored to death if I didn't work and I just sat at home cleaning all day in between the school runs. Unless she has staff, she's probably not doing anything very exciting on those days other than housework. But definitely make days for yourself and enjoy them like you're doing. I work full-time but a few times a year I take a day and do whatever I want and my husband is home with our dd. Once a year I take a weekend break away, 2-3 nights and do something I enjoy. It's wonderful. But I'd be bored and my life would feel pretty empty if I was just sitting around all day doing nothing. Definitely enjoy your day though.

CredulousThickos · 16/10/2017 16:26

I’m a SAHM with kids at school. I’m not stable enough to work and I’m often too batshit to go out and do normal stuff.

I’ve pretty much finished Netflix and I hate housework. So mainly I’m just bored.

As someone said upthread, it stops being a treat when it’s just your life.

crazychemist · 16/10/2017 16:28

Enjoy! Hope you do something exciting (rather than catching up on laundry or similar).
Having a day off sounds lovely, but I don't think I'd envy those that are at home all the time once kids are at school. I work two days a week are the moment (DD is 1yo). I miss DD, but I derive a great deal of pleasure and direction from my job. I will enjoy being able to do some more days as DD gets older and more comfortable without me. Not sure I'll want to go full 5 days though, especially if we have any more DC, some time alone to get things done is precious :-)

Scotinoz · 16/10/2017 16:30

I'd be pretty much excited at a day to myself too! I'm a stay at home parent - which I really do love - and feel quite thrilled at the prospect of the youngest starting pre-school next year. Two mornings a week alone to do the housework with helpers 😅 Sad too though, since it means they're growing up so quickly 😢

MrsLindor · 16/10/2017 16:30

My DD is away at half term and I'm still taking the week off work, I get 6 days and 7 nights to myself. I'm a single parent (no EOWs) so this was an opportunity too good to miss. I'll miss DD but I'm looking forward to the downtime. I don't expect to get another week to myself until she's at University.

lightgreenglass · 16/10/2017 16:41

Day one of maternity leave and I'm bored - looking forward to picking the eldest two up from the childminders. I'm hoping I get induced this weekend so I don't have to have another free day! I'm a maytr though I know.

MuseumOfCurry · 16/10/2017 16:47

Is there some reason that you can't keep your eldest two home?

Great that you're sufficiently self-aware to see your martyrdom, though.

speakout · 16/10/2017 16:54

I love the balance I have.

My youngest is 17 and I work only 15 hours.

Bliss.

CardinalCat · 16/10/2017 16:55

I would be bored rigid in your SIL's shoes, plus a lot of my self esteem is tied up in my work and my achievements there so I think I would probably go a bit mad/ sad if I was at home, with the kids at school. (however I wouldn't mind trying it for a week every so often!)

Enjoy your lovely day 'off'!

Standingcat · 16/10/2017 17:01

Enjoy! I have just had 4 weeks off work sick, last week I felt much better, my DD was in school and I can relate totally to what you are feeling, I bought extra lottery tickets as would love to be a SAHP but our finances can't support it....

YellowMakesMeSmile · 16/10/2017 17:13

I wouldn't be envious either, five days is a lot to fill and in the event of a divorce she would be in for a huge culture shock. Plus, if I were her partner I'd not be happy I had to work to pay for that luxury.

The odd day I enjoy as does DH and we both make time for hobbies but usually one or the other is home so we make time that way.

Mummyoflittledragon · 16/10/2017 17:22

I’m chronically ill and have chronic pain. I can’t work. I have either a series of appointments or have to rest and/or sleep. I’d much rather be able to work. Working part time and having time to myself would be the ideal. I am envious of people, who can function every day, don’t have to get stressed when they plan an occasional day out because they may be or get too ill.

fairycakesrus · 16/10/2017 17:23

Haha MrsOsM, I feel your pain. I was gutted over the summer when the start of the school holidays (am a teacher) coincided with my OH being back from working offshore. I had been dreaming of a day or two where I sent the kids to daycare and I enjoyed the luxury of time to myself. Had to wait till the last week of the holiday to get two days to myself. We have half term this week and the same has happened.

bigkidsdidit · 16/10/2017 17:29

This is why I go to at least two conferences a year! And they're in a different city so I can't even do house work ...

JamieFrasersArse · 16/10/2017 19:02

If you've got a DH or DP then why can't they occasionally take the kids for a few hours so you can relax? I can understand why you'd never have a day off if you're a single parent but if you have a partner then why not?

FurryGiraffe · 16/10/2017 19:35

Lots of people saying ‘why can’t DH take the kids out’. It’s not always that simple. DH and I usually only get one day off together and into that day has to be packed all the house stuff that is hard to do solo with a toddler in tow during the week, plus sleep catch up for us both (DS2 is an atrocious sleeper), plus sometimes visits to friends/family, and time together as a family unit. One of us taking the kids out so the other gets some ‘me’ time is a luxury we just don’t have.

Ragwort · 16/10/2017 19:49

I think you need to be stricter with your priorities Furry - time alone, to do what you want, is very important for your mental health - I would always prioritise time alone over house stuff/visiting family and friends/family time etc.

When I was a SAHM my DH fully understood that I needed 'time alone' at weekends and he would always take the DC so I could do my own thing. I know it's not so easy if you only have one day together but it is so important.

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