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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think that asking for continuous pictures after buying an animal is rude?

59 replies

DoggyDay25 · 16/10/2017 14:12

Have purchased a rabbit from a breeder. She's wonderful. The breeder has asked that each month to just send a picture. She didn't say I'm tied to that or anything, but that she'd really like it, it kind of makes me feel like I have to though.

AIBU to think it's a bit rude!?

OP posts:
KoalaD · 16/10/2017 14:15

It's not much to ask, is it? Confused

I don't think it's rude. If you don't want to do it, just don't.

AuntLydia · 16/10/2017 14:15

It's really not rude to ask, no. Especially if she's made it clear you don't have to do it. Demanding would be rude but asking isn't.

Orangebird69 · 16/10/2017 14:17

How much effort does it take? I rescued a kitten that someone found in an ATM booth 3 years ago. I still send the guy pics now every few months. He loves it. Be nice.

JoWithABow · 16/10/2017 14:17

Sounds a bit weird - especially from a breeder who I presume does this as a job?

Are you going to do it?

Tryingtokeepfit · 16/10/2017 14:18

No I don't think it's rude. She obviously is keen to hear how the rabbit is doing. We used to update our breeder with pictures of our dog for 13 years. She also sent us updates on his mother and sister that she kept from the litter.

Just don't send one if you don't want to.

IHaveBrilloHair · 16/10/2017 14:19

It's once a month.
The guy I rehomed two of my kittens to sends me photos if I ask, and I share photos of Mum and siblings who I still have.
It's nice she cares.

SacreBlue · 16/10/2017 14:21

We had a mum & daughter visit a couple of months after we got kittens from them and didn't think it weird.

I know some rehoming places do welfare checks. Maybe she is just looking for a little reassurance that the animal is being cared for well. Which is super, if a little annoying to have to do once a month, perhaps she'll not look for further photos once she's happy the rabbit is settled & well?

HarrietKettleWasHere · 16/10/2017 14:22

No, it's not weird or rude in my opinion. I took on a little budgie once from an old lady who went into an old people's home. She would phone every Sunday after her tea to ask after him and hear him chatter in the background. I used to send her s Christmas card from him with a picture inside.

She's passed on sadly but the budgie is 15 years old!

One photo a month is nothing much to ask really, exoecuslly considering how easy it is to attatch a photo to an email or text on your phone.

GerrytheBerry · 16/10/2017 14:23

Not sure rude is the right word, can't actually think of a negative word to describe it either, sounds like the lady just loves the rabbits and wants to keep in touch.

MotherOfBeagles · 16/10/2017 14:24

We had this when we bought our puppy beagle. But as my step dad pointed out it’s could be a safety issue, there’s lots of people who make a living out of stealing animals for breeding/baiting and by handing them photos your basically giving them a catalogue. May sound paranoid but he’s a police officer and sees it every day.

Could be innocent but why risk it?

PickettBowtruckles · 16/10/2017 14:24

I think it's lovely. I had to rehome my two (very loved) rats last year. I was really worried about it and very upset when they moved on. Without me asking, the lovely lady sends me pictures every couple of months and an update on how they're doing. Takes only a few minutes of her time but I really appreciate it.

I'd take it as she's a loving breeder who genuinely cares about her animals.

steppemum · 16/10/2017 14:25

well I think it is OTT and it would bug me and I would feel pressured into it.

Why would I want to maintain a relationship with someone I had a business transaction with?

I think it is very different if you have rescued an animal, or got them from a rescue centre, they like to know what has happened to their animals, but a breeder??

yoyoyoyoyo · 16/10/2017 14:26

I think it is weird not rude. However maybe she has sold to someone who mistreated/abused a rabbit and feels like she wants to make sure it doesn’t happen again?

yoyoyoyoyo · 16/10/2017 14:27

I bought a pup from a breeder. They weren’t at all interested in the pictures I sent them of her surgery for a condition they pretended she didn’t have
AngryAngryAngry

burninghigh · 16/10/2017 14:29

Oh god, she's prob not even interested. It's just to make you think she is and therefore a great breeder so
You recommend her.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 16/10/2017 14:30

It's not rudeConfused

It would take all of 3 seconds...

TurquoiseChevrotain · 16/10/2017 14:31

@burninghigh bit of a bitch, aren't you?

I got a smaller animal from a breeder than a rabbit and she likes picture updates too Smile

musicform · 16/10/2017 14:33

do it or don't do it

HundredMilesAnHour · 16/10/2017 14:36

I don't understand why the OP thinks this is rude. The breeder cares about the animals she breeds. Most hobby breeders are like this and very emotionally attached to their animals. This is a good sign rather than rudeness!

I adopted a small pet from a rescue recently and send photos every few weeks with an update. The guy running the rescue is genuinely pleased to hear from me as he was very attached to my pet.

oldted · 16/10/2017 14:43

An odd photo now & again and one at Xmas wouldn't do any harm, and would reassure them that they'd chosen a lovely new owner for their bunny. It's a small but kind thing to do..

LewisThere · 16/10/2017 14:45

If I was buying an animal from a feeder, I wild assume that they are doing that for money.
If it is a financial transaction, then no I would t expect to send cute pics every month.
If It was someone rehoming an animal that they had been looking after for years but couldn't keep, then this would make much more sense.

Vic98765 · 16/10/2017 14:46

It's prob to make sure you don't eat it! Shock

PinkHeart5914 · 16/10/2017 15:06

It’s hardly rude!

I think any good pet breeder would love to see photos of the pet growing up, ok maybe not every month but now and then.

Either do it or ignore

blanklook · 16/10/2017 15:12

I'd do it, always delighted to share pics of our menagerie.

If you think there's an ulterior motive then just ask.

Nikx85 · 16/10/2017 15:17

Breeders of all animals get alot of stick...they dont care about animals/they only do it for the money etc/they dont care if animal is used as bait aslong as they get paid etc... and unfortunately this is true for alot of breeders..not all. Sound9ss like she actually cares and wants to keep her reputation.... it takes less than 2 mins to take a picture and attach it to an email yes you are BU.

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