AIBU to think that asking for continuous pictures after buying an animal is rude?

[DoggyDay25]

Have purchased a rabbit from a breeder. She's wonderful. The breeder has asked that each month to just send a picture. She didn't say I'm tied to that or anything, but that she'd really like it, it kind of makes me feel like I have to though.

AIBU to think it's a bit rude!?

No clue about rabbit breeders in particular, but with dogs and cats, yep it's totally normally for a decent breeder to expect to stay in touch and get updates on the animal they've bred.

Done right breeding dogs and cats isn't a job, it rarely makes a profit in fact, so no, it's not a business transaction, it's something they're invested in emotionally and they're interested in how their animals get on.

I think it's quite sweet and provided she's not stalking you giving 'useful' advice it won't hurt . We've only ever bought one animal from a breeder and she wasn't remotely interested after she had had the cash , particularly when the cat in question was seriously ill within a matter of days .

I don't think it's rude or weird but I wouldn't do it myself (ask or send them). Maybe for the first few months but every month for the rest of the animals life? Come on

She's monitoring the Rabbits well being.. without actually saying as such ..

Maybe she is hoping that if you keep in touch and it doesn’t go to plan or you change your mind that if she is still in the loop she can help rehome.

My family bred dogs growing up and it was always sad to hear through the grapevine if someone had rehomed and not came back to us as we would have always helped/taken the dog back. One was really sad as we nearly kept this pup but a lovely family came to look at him decided they wanted him and within 18 months unfortunately the dad had become very unwell and then passed and the poor dog was left outside in a kennel getting matted and ignored then he was sold to a local business as a guarding dog we bred pets and it broke my dads heart to hear about this too late. He did try to buy the dog back but the business wouldn’t shift and the spca said that they couldn’t help. This was before mobile phones and the ease of keeping in touch. If I was a breeder I’d want to keep in touch as no matter what they still feel like your responsibility when they leave to their new homes. I’d certainly not demand it though and maybe ask for a pic when you can especially around Christmas and birthday times.

She's monitoring the Rabbits well being..
But who is making the vendor the keeper of the welfare of those animals?
Why should it be her responsibility to do so?

Tbh I could understand the 'oh Ive been looking after them and care for them so it would be nice'
But the idea that it's basically to check up on me would put me off altogether.

I read this earlier and it has been bugging me, because I think it is really odd and I have been tryign to work out why.

I think in this case I am actually really uncomfortable with it, because I don't want a relationship with the breeder. I don't want her deciding if my rabbit is being well looked after, I don't wnat her breathing down my neck. I don't think she has the right to anything to do with an animal which is now MINE. It stopped being hers, or anything to do with her, when I bought it.

I do think it is very different for rehomed animals and rescue animals etc, but not in this case.

YABU for buying a pet from a breeder.

I'm with you OP, I agree it's rude, weird, even a bit creepy. And I get that you might feel a bit of a meany if you say No but really, rabbit chosen, rabbit bought, goodbye.

Out of interest, what did you say when she said this? As it's such a strange request I can't imagine you had a response ready!

@TurquoiseChevrotain maybe I am. Or maybe I'm just realistic about why she wants this info. And the likelihood is for her own reputation.

But why is it a bad thing the breeder is interested in the bunny's well being? It probably means you got a happy, healthy bunny that's used to being handled.

Also it can be handy to have someone experienced to ask the odd question at times- 'bunny has been doing x, is that ok or should I take him to the vet?'

Well first of all, you are adding to the problem going to a breeder rather than a rescue.

Second of all as someone who fosters/adopts and helps out a local rescue - pictures are always wonderful.

You grow attached to these animals and if they have babies (we have lots of animals come to us pregnant, multiple litters from sisters etc) and nurse them through, vets, weaning etc. It's nice to know that they've gone to a good home.

Tbh, I've tons of pictures on my phone of my animals anyway so, wouldn't hurt to send a few occasionally.

No you don't have to, but it's not rude to ask to be kept updated.

Plus it's nice for us to update our website so all fosters can see the animals moving on to a happy loving home.

I wouldn't like it OP. Just send one the first month and then don't bother.

Given how prolifically rabbits are supposed to breed, she must have one hell of a full inbox!

The fact she is asking for photos probably means she actually cares about the animals she breeds. I don't think it is rude or weird.

Out of interest, what did you say when she said this? As it's such a strange request I can't imagine you had a response ready!

Really? It wouldn't even cross my mind to say anything but "of course" if a breeder requested this of me!

My mum still emails a photo now and then of our 17 year old burmese to the breeder and she loves it!

When I was clearing out my phone contacts a while back, I found the number of the woman who sold us our young cat back in 2014. Said cat was about five months old and had stayed with her longer than the rest of the litter, so she'd gotten quite attached and I think would have kept her if we hadn't fallen in love on the spot. I sent her a few photos of the little purrbot and she was delighted! Said the cat looked very happy and loved.

Occasional updates are a courtesy, once a month is OTT.

If it wasn't for good breeders there wouldn't be any breeds. Its puppy mills and back yard breeders you want to shut down.

YABU.
I think it's lovely. Better than just taking your money and not giving a shit.
Perhaps if it's too much effort, next time you should buy a rescue rabbit.

"But who is making the vendor the keeper of the welfare of those animals?
Why should it be her responsibility to do so?"

Because it is living creatures that is being bought and sold, not objects.

We are shockingly bad at pet welfare in the UK and the buyers and sellers should have equal responsibility for the animal that they have bred/wanted.

Rabbit Welfare in particular is really poor. I think that they shouldn't be able to breed and sell them singularly.

It's nice to see a breeder who cares.

I agree that it's a good sign the breeder wants to keep in touch, particularly with rabbits because unfortunately they do sometimes end up neglected. Asking for photos/updates is an indication that the breeder cares about her animals. And if something were to go wrong somewhere down the line (someone develops a severe allergy to the pet for example) a good breeder will usually take the animal back so there's no stress about rehoming. An occasional photo isn't all that intrusive really.

Asking politely for a favour is not, by definition, rude. If it is a problem you can just politely decline - or send her a picture or two for the first couple of months and then leave it.

I wonder if we saw the actual message she sent it would be easier to properly gauge her intent or demandingness, but on the face of it, I see no reason to be offended by her interest.

I think it is nice that she cares. I'd feel reassured that I hadn't supported a mere money making exercise.

Lots of people like to share pics of their pet anyway so why not with the person who bred the animal?!

The breeder I got my rats from asks for a brief update and pics every 6 months, which we're totally fine with, (she's very reputable). As well as checking on their welfare, a good breeder of any animal will want to know about their health growing up, as this can potentially flag up any issues with that particular line, (yes, even with rats!), so they breed responsibly in future, and don't carry on breeding lines with inherited conditions that can cut their lives short.
Ps. I usually have rescue animals as a rule, but could not find any rats for rehoming within a 100 mile radius of our town! I went for a breeder rather than buying from a pet shop, as the way they breed them really is disgusting and cruel, (think 100's of baby rats crammed into glass tanks, most destined to be snake food except the 'lucky' few who are picked out to become pets - they have NO socialisation and are usually terrified of humans).

This is nice if she wants to see progress but this request would annoy me to feel obligated and remember every month to send a sodding photo of a rabbit.