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Original poster

What's the most insensitive thing anyone has ever said to you?

147 replies

whatathingtosay · 16/10/2017 08:13

Was at BIL's wedding on Saturday - lovely day, popular couple, huge guest list, big party. It was basically the opposite of ours, which was family-only, small, quiet, over very quickly.

On the dance floor, MIL comes stomping along (out of time) and says: "It's lovely isn't it. Do you now realise now how staid your own wedding was?"

Now, my own wedding was going to be quite big and friendly. But it got cancelled and had to be replanned. One of several reasons it got cancelled and had to be replanned was MIL's domineering behaviour! By the time we got to organising it a second time, I didn't have the emotional energy to invest in anything big, so I just had the simplest wedding possible.

I think pretty much everyone who knows me well realises how hurt and humiliated I felt by the whole thing, and how much DH and I struggled through that period. So for her to bring it up in the middle of a happy day celebrating BIL was just staggering. I honestly didn't know where to put myself - I just physically froze in the middle of the song 'We Are Family' (oh the irony).

OP posts:
MissionItsPossible · 16/10/2017 12:43

I am always speechless when reading these threads. The awful thing is that they are often said at a time when we are so low and vulnerable that most of us are too shocked to say anything, which makes reading these horrible things worse as they mostly get away with it.

ticklady · 16/10/2017 12:46

My mum said 'oh I suppose its congratulations' when I found out I was pg with dc3. She was pissed off I hadn't told her first. (We have never been close, too many awful things said to me as a child, she was and still is pure nasty to me)
She told all her friends, unfortunatley I mc and she didnt tell her friends this vital part. So when I met her friend at a party she publically congratulated me and I had to say no I'm just fat , didnt mum tell you I'd miscarried?
I didn't tell her about the next mmc either, fearing the same response. When I did get pg again, I got my own back by putting it on FB because she thinks FB is rubbish and has nothing to do with it. So all her friends knew before her. HA!
I haven't told her of the last mmc either, as it has fuck all to do with her.

GymBergerac · 16/10/2017 12:50

I was told I was “just too damaged”
I was in the middle of a breakdown.
I recovered to spite that comment

Bluelonerose · 16/10/2017 12:54

The 2 the spring to mind are both my dm.

When i was younger "why can't you be like your db he's perfect"

When i told her I was pregnant with ds2 I already had 2 children, engaged, job she told me I was "a stupid girl"

Mittens1969 · 16/10/2017 12:54

A MIL one from me, she was cross that my DD2 wouldn’t go to her for a cuddle (she’s always been quite clingy), she said to my DH, ‘You were never like that as a child,’ and said to me, ‘It’s obvious why that is.’ We had a terrible row as a result and I went off on my own.

DD2 followed me and still remembers me crying that day, which I do regret. I remember her saying, ‘Grandma only likes Daddy, she doesn’t like us.’ And she didn’t want to go back into MIL’s house again.

Ilovevegas · 16/10/2017 12:59

Told MIL first when pregnant at 5 weeks (family relations strained so thought it might help bring everyone together) first reaction to being told you're going to have another grandchild is 'what are you going to do about work!!'

MIL loves family & grandchildren hates me as I was a LP when I met now DH so her reaction to me being pregnant was just because it's me Confused

What everyone else does..manage Hmm

Gives me the rage just thinking about it!

BirthdayBeast · 16/10/2017 13:54

Not about me, but my FIL telling my BIL’s GF (in front of numerous other family members) that she was solely responsible, and had no one but herself to blame, for the car accident that left her in a coma for months and with permanent brain damage. She has lost the use of one side of her body, cannot work, needs constant support and has undergone a personality change. Life will never be the same for her again. She suffers everyday with the after effects.

Incidentally, the police have said that no one was solely to blame for the accident, it was just unfortunate circumstances, and they’ve found no wrong doing on the GF’s part in the accident. My FIL is a nasty, cruel, misogynist- this is the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the nasty things he’s said to others.

mygrandchildrenrock · 16/10/2017 14:01

My wicked step-mother saying, in front of my then 6 yr old DS who I had at 16, 'I still say that child should have been aborted'.

Just why?

MelodyNelson10 · 16/10/2017 14:07

When I told a colleague that my younger (by three years) sister had just got engaged.

‘Oh, are you annoyed that she beat you?’

Hmm
AliceLucyBD35 · 16/10/2017 14:07

Recovering from surgery, v. good prognosis, soon to start a course of adjuvant chemotherapy...
MIL: Friends of mine, well.. their son , he lost his wife very early to cancer, and well, he's young and he got re-married within a year. Everyone said they thought it was too quick, but I thought it was really good...
I remember being utterly bemused at the time, I could not understand why she would say such a thing out loud

yoyoyoyoyo · 16/10/2017 14:14

At my dads funeral...
“You dad was so disappointed in you...”

That was the only thing my GM (his Mum) said to me.

yoyoyoyoyo · 16/10/2017 14:16

Hang on... My other GM introduced me and my sister to her friend (when they met in town one day)
“This is yoyoyo....but this is the one everyone likes” (gesturing to my sister)

Ooh. I can’t choose. Which GM is the bigger bitch? Hmm

mirime · 16/10/2017 14:24

When I was a child my grandmother once told me that I was her favourite because I had been my grandads favourite.

Complete load of bollocks of course, but very, very hurtful. She was the only one to play favourites between my sister and I.

Also told me & my sister on many occasions that our DF should never have married our DM.

Orangebutterfly · 16/10/2017 14:30

MIL: You look pregnant(when she knew I wasn't) in front of the family.

MIL: The day after we got back from our honeymoon "You should go in the kitchen and cook and look after me now that you are our DIL. while she sat on the sofa with her feet up watching her crappy TV drama!

Last one from MIL I promise! "The hospital where you work is suppose to be rubbish"!
Actually it had been voted top 20 places to work in the UK. So stick that up your bottom MIL!

Sister-in-law: "my children are lucky that they have a rich aunt & uncle like you 2." She's was a university professors at this time. Me and my husband just finished uni and living in rented accommodation still looking for jobs! WTF.

XJerseyGirlX · 16/10/2017 15:07

My dad when ex fiancé told him he was planning on proposing

"are you sure"?

He thought it was funny but it really hurt my feelings

XJerseyGirlX · 16/10/2017 15:09

My ex Mil when she was in hospital with a broken hip (2 weeks after my 2nd Miscarriage)

"ooh give me pregnancy anyday over this, that's easy"

Wanted to push her hospital bed out of the window. In all fairness her own daughter looked horrified at that comment.

Orangebutterfly · 16/10/2017 15:42

1 more from me: BiL when we were in the process of buying a new house and showed him the photographs of it "that looks Chevy" it was a grade 2 listed Tudor house! I told him that he should be quiet and not to judge since he lives in a noddy house! Wiped the smugness off his face! Grin

TopsyandTimsSmugMummy · 16/10/2017 16:41

Not to me but about me. As an 18 year old my DB was slagging off my new boyfriend (who to be fair turned out to be an arse), my mum replied "at least he's not married like the last one". She was actually referring to someone who had sexually abused me from the age of 14 for 3 years.

Assburgers · 16/10/2017 16:43

I got told I have no soul 😔

Being on the spectrum, it was already something I worried about.

Pollydonia · 16/10/2017 16:59

Slightly senior Colleague on finding out my dB is a high earner. " I bet your mum must be much more proud of him than she would be of you!"
Me " No, she loves all of us the same, she's not a money obsessed bitch like you "
Got me a verbal warning, but by god it was worth it !

MissionItsPossible · 16/10/2017 17:46

Go Polly! Would have loved to see their face!

Lambzig · 16/10/2017 18:22

On my miscarriage after the fourth ivf attempt, my stepmother "I hope you will give up now - being infertile and miscarrying is gods way of telling you you would be a terrible parent".

On telling her I was 16 weeks pregnant with DD "oh my friends daughter miscarried at 16 weeks, it might still happen to you".

She is actually very nice just says some awful things sometimes.

wtffgs · 16/10/2017 18:54

Oh my god! These are awful! Shock it beggars belief that people can be so nasty just for the sake of it!

One of seems quite minor. Said by Y "X said you look like a total bimbo but actually you're quite intelligent"

Y was a deeply fucked up person, very posh but had to have a beer to steady her nerves before her (posh) job Hmm

mollifly · 16/10/2017 18:58

' you don't look pregnant you just look like you've eaten a lot of bread'

mishfish · 16/10/2017 19:01

Cancer related (aged 17)

  1. "I asked my dad (a doctor) about what you've got and he basically said you're fucked"

  2. text message received: hello just seeing if you're still alive?

  3. Waiter in restaurant "oh I thought you was a boy HAHA"

Sad
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