To find British nights out scary?

[Gimmeareason]

I've moved back to the UK after a few years working in different countries in Europe, my longest stint was in Barcelona.

There are loads of things im glad to have been reunited with, but now that I've experienced the social scene elsewhere I can't help but find the mainstream British night out slightly terrifying?

Things close here relatively early (compared to places on the continent where casual bars can stay open well into 6am).

This means you reach a point in the night where people are either baying in the street or are being funneled into a nightclub (aka tje only place open).

I feel like aggressive use of drugs and alcohol are more rife here - seems like people have their eye set on getting as fucked as possible rather than that just happening naturally.

Rather than seeing mixed groups of friends, ive noticed its much more gender segregated here, with "the girls" and "the lads" going out separately and aiming to hook up rather than just have a good time.

Weirdly, although the UK seems really progressive on gender equality, there seems this weird pressure that women have to go all out when going out (mainstream scene). So rather than just hanging out in late night bars in jeans and a cute top or whatever, you get these gangs of women who have really gone all out, hair, lashes, tan, heels, bodycon etc. Nothing wrong with it we're free to do what we want, but i guess the question is are we really? I dont see many who feel free to just go for a relaxed look.

Aggressive gangs of men who cant handle their drink - i see more british men kicking off in bars or the street whereas in spain for example it all.felt a bit more happy go lucky.

Its weird but it feels like in the UK past a certain hour people just go into this weird animalistic state where they kind of give up on being "civilised", heels come off, people just vomiting or screaming in the street. I saw lots of girls nearly passing out on the street, or girls completely out of it and crying as some man tried to "comfort" her (actually trying to take her home) - yes i did intervene and yes it happened several times.

I used to kind of think it was all a bit of a laugh but now having spent time abroad and having seen people going on long, casual, happy nights out i just wonder why that doesnt really happen in the UK.

It feels like UK nights out have something very hard and edgy about them if anyone sees what i mean

The UK does have some who think that a night out you can remember is a bad night. Not helped by the attitude that being drunk is an excuse rather than exacerbation. But not everyone is a swilling saddo.

And I dont think it was as bad in my going out days 20 plus years back - there weren't as many filthy skanks about.

I think our drink driving isn't as bad as other places.

Filthy skanks? Nice..

I live in york and yes there are stag and hens and race days (not posh toffs by any stretch) but it's a big city and you can easily avoid it.

I think that the dressing up is limited to certain groups too, I went out recently in jeans and a top and low heels and was dancing with lots of lovely merry people, in a city centre bar.

I saw no puking and fighting and had a laugh with lots of people, it's not the same everywhere.

You can avoid this kind of thing within say, a 90% certainty.

I'm old (45) and don't tend to see this thing. We avoid wherever millennials and football fans congregate.

I live in york and yes there are stag and hens and race days (not posh toffs by any stretch) but it's a big city and you can easily avoid it.

I love, love, love York. One of my favourite UK cities. They do have a lot of hens and stags.

Yanbu. When I moved back to the UK from Hong Komg, I was shocked and quite scared by the number of agressive drunk people on the streets and on public transport. You din't see throngs of drunk people in HK, of course people drink and there are those with alcohol problems, but the majority of people drink very little and it is certainly not normal to see loud, obnoxious drunk people about the place. Maybe it's because there is so much more to do in the evenings there. Shops and coffee shops all stay open until about 11, as do things like sports centres.

I agree! I think it's a minority of people who actually like this kind of night out but they make city centres unpleasant and unsafe for everyone else.

@KarmaNoMore - nobody in the UK finishes at 5pm either. They get paid until 5pm but it’s commonplace here to work until 6-7pm as unpaid (and most companies encourage you to skip it altogether or eat at your desk). We also don’t as a whole get a paid lunch and most workplaces expect staff in at least 30mins before the contractual start time. A lot of what British people do at work is unsaid and undocumented but you can get fired for it as having a bad attitude. I have worked around the world, and the only countries where people work harder are all in Asia.

Skip lunch

Zap, I live in York, right next to the walls. You’ve described York to a tee. My husband and I flee the city centre on races weekends. It’s not just the night, its the day as well. The city is really full, mixed with families and really drunk well dressed races people. You can’t get a pub seat for a dinner, or a drink. The taxis hike up prices. Pubs/restaurants hike up the prices as well. If they spot a hen/stag do, they hike up prices.

At the station they have to separate the foot traffic going in different directions because they kept having problems with fights. They search people for open alcohol before they leave the station or enter the station. I’ve caught a train to Leeds around noon, when the entire train was packed full of people coming from the North (I think it started in Newcastle). The train emptied at York as everyone was heading to the races. When we got on, it was clear the train needed to be cleaned before going all the way to Manchester. The train floor was mushy from spilled drink, the toilets had poop smeared on the walls, I couldn’t sit because the seats were covered in a sticky substance. It’s just disgusting. Most York residents flee the area, or just hide at home. I moved from the city centre (within the walls) to our new house right next to York St. John, in fact right next to their main housing area, and its quieter near the Uni housing than in the city centre. Students are quieter, even on a Friday/Saturday night.

It’s depressing, we cannot enjoy our city in the summer, when its most beautiful. My husband and I cannot go out for a casual meal without stumbling around drunk people. I experienced this when I was a student in York as well, my housemates were all international students (I’m American, myself) and they weren’t judging Brits, but were just astonished at the behaviour on a night out. We’d go to a local pub for a few drinks, try to play a few board games, and just relax from our PhDs. And we stuck out because we were wearing normal clothes, not tanned, heavy makeup, and we were gender mixed. It’s almost depressing. And York is definitely not a low class city, its pretty middle to upper class here (because housing here is so fecking expensive when compared to the rest of the area, but thats another discussion).

International Employers recognise the value of UK based employees too, which is why no matter how bad Brexit gets or how many tax breaks France or Luxembourg offers most companies still have management teams here. That won’t change even after Brexit.

@Choccywoccyhooha - so you saw no violent druggie criminals in HK? Really? HK is the worst for drug addicted criminals attacking people for money or jewellry.

And you can avoid the stag and hen do’s, by eating out at places relatively out of the way of the main tourist areas, and going for a drink at your local pub. But if you decide to take a turn down Coney, Micklegate, Rougier, or Parliament Square, its not a friendly place to be. My husband and I have been in Kapadokya, the Turkish restaurant, and watched from our window as two groups of drunk men were fighting in the streets after being kicked out of Popworld. Our waiter wasn’t even phased. He says it happens almost every night.

I’ve lived here for six years, my husband for 10, its the only way to avoid it. And the number of stag and hen do’s are increasing. I think York decided to advertise York as a hen and stag do party area, because when I first moved here in 2011, there weren’t that many groups of people coming to York. I don’t even consider myself that old, I’m 31. But fucks sake people.

There are umpteen different ways to have a night out though and not come across that kind of behaviour other than on the walk home or to a taxi office etc.

I live in a smallish city and my friends and I have all different kinds of evenings out. Live music in a friendly pub, quiz nights in a quirky pub, the theatre, the cinema, restaurants, drinks in a "posh" bar belonging to the nicer hotels, a couple of independent coffee shops staying open until 11 with live music, comedy nights...and all this in a city some would consider the arse end of nowhere. You don't "have" to go to a nightclub or a wetherspoons!

York is becoming really bad for stag and hen dos. I'm regularly the only sober person on the train from Newcastle to Leeds on a Saturday morning It does seem to be a fairly recent thing, maybe as some other cities are cracking down a bit (such as Newcastle) they're all moving elsewhere.

A lot of town centres are like this. A lot of Brits have an obsession with getting as pissed as possible as quickly as possible. Blame the Vikings

I agree OP, nights out in the town I live are always scary and I avoid it at all costs. There's always an atmosphere and you can sense something's about to kick off. Big groups of drunk women and blokes, shouting, pissing in the streets, fighting, it's awful.

@KarmaNoMore - maybe 30 years ago. That doesn’t happen any more. The UK works the longest unpaid hours in any European country - I know because I work for a company that has sites in every company in Europe. I live and breathe the differences and have the data - it’s one of the biggest drawbacks when offshoring UK jobs. One UK team member = 2 or 3 people in Europe or Up to 5 people in Asia in terms of sheer output and it doesn’t usually become apparent until after they have left as it’s all side of desk. It’s why many companies, mine included, are onshoring back to the UK.

Every country not company!

ravingroo I believe what you are saying regarding productivity of U.K. employees. I'm in the US. When I was in audit we had clients on the west coast who insisted on audit teams being staffed from the East coast corridor offices (Boston south to Washington DC) because of productivity issues with local staff.

I think that people slightly exaggerate this idea that Britain is the only place where people drink to excess. In all the nations which supposedly have a healthier and more moderate drinking culture (I'm thinking really of southern European/latin countries) I've seen people drink a lot, easily as much as the Brits, unit for unit.

But what's different is the slightly menacing vibe about British drinking. As others have pointed out its as if people are on a mission to get insanely drunk for its own sake and vomiting, fighting, inappropriate shagging are almost goals in their own right.

People do get tanked up in France/Spain/Italy/Portugal but there is more restraint. Maybe its connected with the fact that these are typically more socially conservative/Catholic countries and rowdy behaviour in public is more frowned upon. It may also be to do with the fact that food is consumed with drink rather than as a kebab afterthought.

But I don't think its the volumes of alcohol which are the issue, its the social contract around alcohol. Not sure what the answer is either really, as its very hard to change social attitudes. I would like to think the more time people spend in continental Europe the more people will make unfavourable comparisons. Not that Brexit will help that :(

“People do get tanked up in France/Spain/Italy/Portugal but there is more restraint. Maybe its connected with the fact that these are typically more socially conservative/Catholic countries”

Are you sure you want to include in that list France, a country so fiercely secular that you can’t teach wearing a cross on your necklace?

“But I don't think its the volumes of alcohol which are the issue, its the social contract around alcohol.”

It’s a bit of both. People don’t get unchained as soon as they see a bottle around here, but the volumes are definitely less (and spread out over longer periods), too.