To find British nights out scary?

[Gimmeareason]

I've moved back to the UK after a few years working in different countries in Europe, my longest stint was in Barcelona.

There are loads of things im glad to have been reunited with, but now that I've experienced the social scene elsewhere I can't help but find the mainstream British night out slightly terrifying?

Things close here relatively early (compared to places on the continent where casual bars can stay open well into 6am).

This means you reach a point in the night where people are either baying in the street or are being funneled into a nightclub (aka tje only place open).

I feel like aggressive use of drugs and alcohol are more rife here - seems like people have their eye set on getting as fucked as possible rather than that just happening naturally.

Rather than seeing mixed groups of friends, ive noticed its much more gender segregated here, with "the girls" and "the lads" going out separately and aiming to hook up rather than just have a good time.

Weirdly, although the UK seems really progressive on gender equality, there seems this weird pressure that women have to go all out when going out (mainstream scene). So rather than just hanging out in late night bars in jeans and a cute top or whatever, you get these gangs of women who have really gone all out, hair, lashes, tan, heels, bodycon etc. Nothing wrong with it we're free to do what we want, but i guess the question is are we really? I dont see many who feel free to just go for a relaxed look.

Aggressive gangs of men who cant handle their drink - i see more british men kicking off in bars or the street whereas in spain for example it all.felt a bit more happy go lucky.

Its weird but it feels like in the UK past a certain hour people just go into this weird animalistic state where they kind of give up on being "civilised", heels come off, people just vomiting or screaming in the street. I saw lots of girls nearly passing out on the street, or girls completely out of it and crying as some man tried to "comfort" her (actually trying to take her home) - yes i did intervene and yes it happened several times.

I used to kind of think it was all a bit of a laugh but now having spent time abroad and having seen people going on long, casual, happy nights out i just wonder why that doesnt really happen in the UK.

It feels like UK nights out have something very hard and edgy about them if anyone sees what i mean

@lindblum

Exactly, I drink too and go to a lot of clubs, I'm not slating drinking or partying or indeed drug use, just questioning why the general populace acts like a freaky hybrid of animal and baby when it hits 11pm.

And its utter bollocks what a pp said about this being as bad in other countries- it isnt, at least outside the "anglo" world.

I live in London, and go out with OH in SE London or West End. I used to work at Leicester Square station too.

Apart from risking your life thru idiots bombing the place, and some youngsters getting pissed to the point of passing out, it ain't too bad. It depends what you are looking to do on a night out. I go to the pub for a couple, then a restaurant, then a couple more before getting the bus home. But if you are going to a club and don't want to pay club prices for drinks, you may get tiddly beforehand.

I only feel alarmed if there are noisy people on the tube or bus who are being loud and obnoxious. I also have to deal with the same people at work. 99% of drunks and druggies are amenable. A tiny minority may be a risk.

@TubeOyster1

Tbf I used to live in London and never thought it was that bad there. Its worse in regional towns and cities!

House parties/back to a house post pub nights are your friends.

I thought it was just me being old.
I went out for the first time in about 3 years last weekend. I went to the loo in the pub at 8.30pm and one girl was already having her hair held back by her friend while she emptied her cocktails into the loo. That in itself didn't shock me. What did was the friend saying "that'll help you drink more" and these were defiantly not 18/19 year olds

and having seen people going on long, casual, happy nights out i just wonder why that doesnt really happen in the UK.

It does. You are clearly just going to the wrong places.
I live in a City with a population of 1.1million. You can see the behaviour you describe concentrated in one street in our City. That leaves an awful lot of us able to enjoy nights out without binge drinking or taking drugs or throwing up in the street or painting ourselves orange with charcoaled on eyebrows.

I've always found it bizarre. I had a brief period of going out in my first year at university in a large city but I could never enjoy it. I used to feel massively underdressed and left out as I hate make up, heels, handbags etc. I was used to carrying stuff in pockets and wearing coats if I was cold so always thought I stuck out a bit! I spent a few months living in France and felt much more at home on a night out there.

Try living in Colchester.

We have the squaddies, the uni students and the TOWIE brigade. The squaddies tend to stick to a few pubs and are easily avoided, the uni students free from their parents for the first time are bloody awful. Usually found vomiting or crying around 1 in the morning. The TOWIE lot (by which I mean hardcore Essex) have huge coke issues which results in either violent outbursts or twats talking shit all night.

Colchester on a Saturday night during term time when the soldiers are back is something to behold.

Kicking out time can be like the Gaza Strip in some places but I don't think you can hold Barcelona up as a wonderful place for a night out given the huge issues with pickpockets and muggings.

I don’t think it used to be so bad - I used to go out several times a week, and it was more casual, but I have noticed now that nights out seem more of a big thing. I haven’t been out out for about 2/3 years, but have a work night out & was surprised that my colleagues are all buying new dresses for it, and talking about getting makeup done professionally etc. I guess if you are going to spend so much on getting ready then you’re going to want a big night.

You're saying British OP, but do you just really mean English people?

I definitely don't think it's like this anywhere else. I hate going out late at night in the UK. People aren't happy, friendly drunks - they're either being sick or getting in fights and it's quite scary walking past that when it's dark outside, especially if you're on your own.

I've gone on nights out in Australia, Spain, France and other European countries on holiday and it's NEVER had the same vibe it does in the UK. Nobody seems to drink until they're sick (except the Brits), people are generally happier, everyone chats and gets along and I've never felt unsafe walking home or back to my hotel abroad.

Attitudes to alcohol over here are quite odd in my opinion, though. Drinking a bottle of wine at home in the evening is considered relatively normal - the drunk threads are testament to that. People are oddly happy to drive after a drink at the pub, and there seems to be this attitude that because it's legal, it's fine and people should be allowed to drink what they want so long as they're not hurting other people.

^^ Though I'm fully prepared to be flamed for that!

Agree with OP, I think there's a hard edge to the drinking culture in UK and it's quite hostile and aggressive. It's quite threatening walking in the city sometimes and I rarely hang around the centre on a Saturday night - crowds of screeching, baying women and drunken rowdy men...hate it. I think there is something very unhealthy going on at the moment in UK society. Take the case in the news in the last couple of days - 17yo girl assaulted three times in three separate incidents within an hour. www.theguardian.com/society/2017/oct/13/girl-17-was-sexually-assaulted-three-times-in-one-hour-in-east-london
I've been in the middle of Paris on my own before - heavily pregnant and it was late (midnight), and felt safer there than in my home city.

Completely agree. I won’t go out past 10-11pm in the UK. The culture is just so different and yes, scary.

I think its the scene you choose to socialise in. If you went outside that you would see that not all is the same. Lots of people do have happy nights out but you don't because you're immersing yourself in the "out on the lash scene", and looking down your nose at people - your description of the women's style is sneering.

Young people are often silly. Dress outlandishly etc. Thats life. Find a different scene, or a hobby that suits you. Why even be there?k

I've certainly seen raucous behaviour in Scotland and Ireland, Jings, neverbeen on a night out in Wales so couldn't comment...

It sounds like you're talking about nights out 15 years ago. Licensing laws were relaxed 10 ish years ago specifically to deal with what you describe- pubs and bars don't all need to shut at 11 now. Clubs are closing down left and right because people don't go to them anymore

YANBU.

I haven’t been out out in town for 3 years. It’s like a fucking zoo at the weekend.

YABU. I felt unsafe in Barcelona, Paris , etc in a way I never ever have in London.

I think its the scene you choose to socialise in. If you went outside that you would see that not all is the same. Lots of people do have happy nights out but you don't because you're immersing yourself in the "out on the lash scene", and looking down your nose at people - your description of the women's style is sneering.

This too.

Try more salubrious scenes for your nights out.

How old are you OP? Out of interest. I know what you're saying but could it simply be that you've grown up?

@MistressDeeCee

Just a fact!

“....women who have really gone all out, hair, lashes, tan, heels, body con etc”.

I’ve lived in the U.S. since the early 70’s and coming back to England is always a bit of a culture shock and once it even happened while I was still on U.S. soil.

I was at a very small regional airport in the western U.S. at the start of my journey to Heathrow when I spotted these women standing out like sore thumbs amongst casually dressed Americans. Three women, done up like dog’s dinners in high heels, tons of make-up, too bold high lights in their over-styled hair, deep (fake?) tans, flashy jewelry, and all the rest of it. ‘British’ I thought and sure enough, we were together all the way through to London.

People in the U.K. have really changed since I lived there. My son went to uni in the U.K. and was shocked at the other students drinking habits. Here they just smoke a little weed and are good to go, but there he said they drink until they puke, almost every night. (He went to uni two years here and then two years in the U.K). The last year he moved into a place by himself to get away from the constant drinking and all that went along with it.

Australia, or at least Darwin, had a terrible problem with drunken violence when I was there - Mitchell Street used to have fighting outside the bars regularly.

I agree with you OP. Many city centres are barely civilised these days. I only go to a concert now and then - and breathe a sigh of relief when I get home. Adolescence seems to be protracted too, quite a few do not grow out of it until perhaps their late thirties. My nephew was punched in the face for no reason one night, he shrugged it off as normal. People in the UK work longer hours than many on the continent so perhaps have a greater need to let off steam. Plus some people can't hold their drink and start a fight for the fun of it. Waking up with a bad head next day is a sign of a good time, apparently.