To find British nights out scary?

[Gimmeareason]

I've moved back to the UK after a few years working in different countries in Europe, my longest stint was in Barcelona.

There are loads of things im glad to have been reunited with, but now that I've experienced the social scene elsewhere I can't help but find the mainstream British night out slightly terrifying?

Things close here relatively early (compared to places on the continent where casual bars can stay open well into 6am).

This means you reach a point in the night where people are either baying in the street or are being funneled into a nightclub (aka tje only place open).

I feel like aggressive use of drugs and alcohol are more rife here - seems like people have their eye set on getting as fucked as possible rather than that just happening naturally.

Rather than seeing mixed groups of friends, ive noticed its much more gender segregated here, with "the girls" and "the lads" going out separately and aiming to hook up rather than just have a good time.

Weirdly, although the UK seems really progressive on gender equality, there seems this weird pressure that women have to go all out when going out (mainstream scene). So rather than just hanging out in late night bars in jeans and a cute top or whatever, you get these gangs of women who have really gone all out, hair, lashes, tan, heels, bodycon etc. Nothing wrong with it we're free to do what we want, but i guess the question is are we really? I dont see many who feel free to just go for a relaxed look.

Aggressive gangs of men who cant handle their drink - i see more british men kicking off in bars or the street whereas in spain for example it all.felt a bit more happy go lucky.

Its weird but it feels like in the UK past a certain hour people just go into this weird animalistic state where they kind of give up on being "civilised", heels come off, people just vomiting or screaming in the street. I saw lots of girls nearly passing out on the street, or girls completely out of it and crying as some man tried to "comfort" her (actually trying to take her home) - yes i did intervene and yes it happened several times.

I used to kind of think it was all a bit of a laugh but now having spent time abroad and having seen people going on long, casual, happy nights out i just wonder why that doesnt really happen in the UK.

It feels like UK nights out have something very hard and edgy about them if anyone sees what i mean

YANBU

I completely avoid going out to any bars/clubs because of the disgusting way people think they can act on a night out.

I don't know what happens to just having a good time and enjoying drinks, now it just seems like it's all about getting paralytic as quickly as possible 😒

I agree. When I first came here I was baffled by what counted as a night out. I’m from a nearby country with the same climate, and it’s just not the same! We have clubs too as the weather isn’t cafe weather, usually, but people are just not out to get twatted (seen as uncool and pathetic) and people dress more practically. We used to wear sneakers or Dr Martens so we could go on dancing - when I moved here and did the same my friends here thought I was supremely odd for putting on tights and Dr Martens for a night out (in winter!!!)

Stopped going to Barcelona because as bad as it gets here, over there I’ve seen people defacating on the streets. Take off your rose tinted goggles OP!

There is a Spanish word for communal good spirit. And a German word for the spirit of the biergarten. Relaxing yet energetic.

Whats with all this "casually dressed" humble bragging? Do you get a prize for not dressing up, is glamour (even if its not your type of glamour) to be frowned upon? Complaining about how women dress. Misandry much?

Gimmeareason a fact on the scene you've chosen. Why don't you go somewhere and enjoy yourself instead of staring at and scorning people?

You will get a lot of agreement here due to dimness that people don't realise you're sneering at British culture and implying they're all drunken yobs. Tripping over themselves to agree with you in "she's not talking about me" fashion. You are, though. & their youths.

Shit happens all over Europe, people who don't travel maybe don't know that. Re Barcelona - agree with a pp re what she saw there and also parts of it are filthy. Every place has its issues. I live in London near enough to some clubs and it doesn't turn into a warzone at weekends.

Some people do bad things some don't. Same everywhere

@MistressDeeCee

You sound massively oversensitive! Sore spot?

And glamorous it ain't

I also think you're going to the wrong places. There's lots of bars in my city open til 6am, very casual and full of older, mixed groups who are not all off their tits.

I agree with you OP. Our nearest town centre is a no-go zone at pub kicking out time.

I always feel very safe on a night out in London - say, a meal or the the theatre - until we get on the last train home! Then it's like one of the circles of hell, where you're sat keeping your head down while people are shouting and eating/vomiting. It's grim. We've started paying for ubers home to avoid it.

YANBU. I haven’t seen much of the UK outside London, but the nightlife I’ve seen there is hideous. Most people drink (quickly) to get drunk and quickly get to a pitiful state. People throwing up & having fights on the streets etc.

Funny enough, the best and most civil behavior I’ve seen in London night life was in druggy clubs like The Fridge in Brixton. Oh how nice people are to each other when loved up on E

You’re going to the wrong places - get a better group of friends and maybe move to a nicer city. Sounds like you live in a low class shit hole.

Whats with all this "casually dressed" humble bragging? Do you get a prize for not dressing up, is glamour (even if its not your type of glamour) to be frowned upon? Complaining about how women dress. Misandry much?

Jeans and trainers are the new dressed up - comfy clubbing is in vogue. If you go to decent techno nights you’d be laughing at a group of girls in high heels thinking ‘what the fuck are they doing here, they can’t dance all night like that’.

The only place I've ever been groped was Barcelona....and that was as a 57 year old woman
My university aged dcs don't drink much at all...maybe because they have been allowed to do so (moderately) at home since 15. Some of their peers are currently like kids let loose in a sweetshop with alcohol.

DD is in 6th form, and every so often there are 6th form "socials" in one of the nightclubs in town. She went to her first one last year and hated it. It was exactly as the OP had described - predrinks to get drunk and dressed up to the nines with boobs and legs out. She felt underdressed in jeans and a shirt, didn't want to get drunk, and got her bag stolen into the bargain. She spent most of the evening texting me about how she was not enjoying herself, but because I had promised to give a couple of her friends a lift home she didn't want to get picked up early she waited it out. She hasn't been to one since.

By 1 am the street was full of wasted, puking teenagers. The nightclubs don't care if they sells alcohol to underage kids and the police are never there to stamp down on this practice. At the first social this term one of the girls had her drink spiked and ended up on a drip in hospital. And my friend's son was assaulted by another (much larger) fellow sixth former in the street afterwards and had to be pulled off by two passers by.

Young people learn this behaviour from at least 16, and probably younger.

Well it's not just the clubs is it? What is up with the wine? Statistics show there has been a great increase.

In France they have a small glass with a meal. In Milano perhaps a short Campari as an aperitif. Not a bottle while cooking, a bottle with the meal, and another after.

“Things close relatively early here”

They do - and changing that would mean more people asked to work anti-social hours (and we all know what asked means if you want to keep your job) - and many of them women, and on this of all sites I don’t need to point out what difficulties that would cause - and not just for them, for the businesses too who would have to match the hours their competitors kept.

I have always been in favour of deregulation of retail trading hours, especially now when bricks-and-mortar has to compete with online, but let’s be honest with ourselves about the consequences of longer hours in any line of business.

“would mean more people asked to work anti-social hours”

The rest of the Western world copes just fine with it.

There are always people willing to work nights in bars & pubs - young, no children, prefer it to a desk job or menial work for the time being.

“What is up with the wine?“

The amount in a “glass” of wine served in London is shocking. It’s more like 1/3 of a bottle.

It might be an improvement when we got there but it would be a difficult change to make especially for existing employees.

It’s dangerously easy to assume that some group to which you no longer belong (“no children” or “young” however you define that) will pick up the slack.

And if you think bar work is not menial just try it.

Yes there is a problem. However, it's generally restricted to certain streets/areas of towns/cities. In my city, there's a street near the university that is carnage on a Friday/Saturday night, but there are many, many other locales where things are extremely safe, civilised, and quiet - and these tend to be far less the focus of gender-segregated nights too. I suspect you may find it much nicer if you change the area in which you drink!

It depends where you go out, here and abroad. Try a night out in Iceland or Finland if you want to see people really 'letting their hair down' and these places are fated as liberal/feminist ideals. At the other end of the scale Jamaica - try a night in a dance hall hahaha - you can find debauched and wild behaviour in any country.

I think it depends where you go. I agree that the dress code seems to have changed - I remember getting glammed up to go on nights out, but fake tan and false lashes were pretty unheard of.

I still go on nights out, but it's usually always in a mixed group and we go to lots of bars - which if you had to define them I suppose would be alt or hipster. Not particularly fashionable places, but populated by people (of all sexes) mostly in jeans and t shirts and where you can order bar snacks to go with the drinks, bag a table and dance and hang out for the night.

Getting dressed up for these places means a nice top, good jeans and a pair of boots or funky brogues. We were out recently in one recently though, and there were a group of women who came in wearing full body-con, make up, heels etc. They looked amazing but stuck out like a sore thumb because nobody else was dressed like that - and I think they felt self conscious because they didn't stay long. Horses for courses - as TBF I CBA going to places where they won't let you in if you're wearing trainers!

@MistressDeeCee you are spot on. @usainboltsleotard that made me lol. You are right - Iceland is unreal on a night out and expensive!

@CoteDAzur - you seem very judgemental. By your own admission you haven't seen much of nightlife in the UK (and I suspect elsewhere).

I thought the change in licensing hours was supposed to fix this problem. Unfortunately nowhere stays open until 6am (except in London). Certainly no bars do.

If we were to suddenly have more smaller low key bars open all hours we wouldn’t see the Gaza Strip kicking out time culture.

It would take a few years for our culture to change. Old habits die hard etc. Also public transport would have to be 24 hours.

When I was in Lisbon I noticed that kids used to have a few shots of coffee to get ‘up’. Not so much alcohol. They were all in jeans and trainers and in mixed groups.

Totally with you OP. As a nation, our drinking culture is embarrassing!!!

In Liverpool most bars/clubs are open until 6/7am.

Since 18 I've gone out in mixed company, it's very rarely ever just me and the girls.

When I've been out in Spain/Poland (I'm half Polish)/France I've been physically groped. My sister was stopped in Paris recently by a man who asked to suck her tits. I've never had this in Liverpool - not saying it doesn't happen though but 'the continent' isn't as nice as you're saying.

Yes some people do go out on the pull but I'm not sure that's anyone's business as it doesn't really impact your life does it?

I think you're being a tad OTT.