To expect my husband to accept me having his "find my friends" details on my phone?

[KettleNips]

Long backstory.

For many reasons I won't bore you with it

I NC constantly as I have many friends who use this forum.

DH has a history of being dishonest , lying being a bit of a pig. We had counselling saw out the rough years. I suspect something. He's not acting differently - he's at home a lot more but someTHING just does not sit right with me.

After we had counselling he made a promise to me to be more transparent etc. I asked this morning for his FMF details and for him to accept the request and he refused saying I didn't need to have his location tracker on

When I told him that he works in cities regularly and the last time he was in Westminster tube station when there was a Terror attack he brushed it off.

I don't think I'm being unreasonable in asking im happy for him to have my details.

I find the FMF thing creepy but can see how it might be useful in some circumstances. The thing is OP, you and your DH needed to have a deal in order to get things back on track and, however reasonable or u reasonable the conditions of the deal were, you're saying he's been pulling away from the conditions of that deal. That in itself is the problem - the key things needed to keep you together are not important enough for him to focus on. Let's be honest, in this situation (make or break) most partners who wanted to stay would have organised the FMF thing themselves.

OP, it's not weird to want to use FMF, but you honestly deserve so much better.

I would have absolutely no problem with my DH being able to know where I am. It's a handy tool for safety, especially as I frequently have to drive long journeys.

That said, your situation isn't about this. If you're feeling the shutters going up and your gut is telling you something is changing again (and then, in addition to that, he refuses to have FMF), then maybe this is the push you need to accept that you can't continue to put yourself through this relationship torture any longer.

After decades together, dw and I know each other’s passwords to almost everything. We have the contact details for most of each other’s friends, some of each other’s colleagues and all of each other’s family. This happened organically over time and for our convenience.

We don’t however track each other like animals. In fact why not just get him chipped and be done with it?

Forcing/coercing him is creepy & weird.

Btw I also understand that some couples are technophiles and love all the smart/augmented reality technology and the convenience that it adds to their lives but that’s not what this is, is it?

My husband and I are linked on find my iPhone but I can't say I've ever used it!

We set it up when my phone got stolen and you can see where your phone is. You can also send a message to the phone to say contact this number to return the phone. It's useful in those situations I think because I got my phone back!

I have never used it to check up on my DH though. We trust each other so it's not an issue

I have nothing to hide. I'm a pretty boring person, in fact. The thought of being tagged and tracked like I'm living in my spouse's own little dystopian totalitarian regime would freak me out utterly and I'd leave. It's super creepy and I think borderline abusive.