OP I wouldn’t put too much Store into people saying it’s unhealthy to track or know passwords full stop. Actually it’s a sensible and positive step you both took in the past. Most haven’t been in your position.
The value of it wasn’t so much that you could definitely always know or obsess over what he is doing, that way is flawed and madness.
It is that your DP was prepared to give you a level of transparency to show you he was serious about making it up to you, and serious about changing. Having a tracker on will show up if you are staying in a hotel. It’s harder to cheat or lie.
The downside is that it’s like being with an alcoholic, it’s good if you have the keys to the drink cupboard and know if he visits a pub, but that’s a temporary help we’ve given them until they get stable.
But unless you can see real change and be able to eventually not be their ‘check’, then we become codependent and become stressed like you are now. It seems trust hasn’t got back to anywhere near a good level, and he’s just slipping again.
So the issue isn’t are you weird to want to track him, no you weren’t, as it was for a good reason, but it can’t go on and on.
The issue is he doesn’t want to, which shows he values his freedom above transparency to you, and hasn’t done enough to win your trust back so that you are ok with stopping checking up on him.
The thread wasn’t about my situation but it’s too long to go into, but I didn’t stay with my man as the damage from the trust gone was too huge, and although necessary I hated that feeling of having or wanting to check up.
I didn’t want that burden and couldn’t bear to look at his phone or where he was, so depressing. However it was important to me that I could, and that I had not demanded or asked for it, that he valued me more than his right to privacy, and that he understood he had to atone for his lies. it did make a big positive difference and massively helped him, he’s a better man. Not for me though.