Guilt about choosing the mixed sex school over girls school

[chiocesarenevereasygirlsworld]

My dd has been at her good co Ed school now for 8 weeks. Yr 7. She is enjoying it a lot and on choosing I felt it was right for her and I want her to have friendships with both sexes. She has two brothers so is quite use to boys and there friends.

There is a girls school near us though and among my friends and mums at the school gates it's the school of choice for their daughters. It's outstanding in all areas and it's very academic. All I ever hear is how wonderful it is and even it's even been said how boys are beasts that sexually harass girls at mixed sex schools. Ok this may happen in a small minority's but I find this very insulting as my two boys have been brought up to be respectful and I don't agree with this mindset at all.

There is a nagging doubt in my head the dd could do better academically in the girls school as it's so strong in that dept but my heart tells me she wouldn't be happy socially.

I'm fed up of hearing it but I guess it's all new at the moment and school is all my friends and peers seem to talk about.

I need a break!!

Boys/men are just humans, you do not require special skills to interact with them!

Exactly - but I wasn't taught that.

It's not normal for a gang of girls to chase boys round a ferry, but that was our normality - look, boy, maybe I can get a boyfriend?

I wasn't taught that I could say no to a boy, that I didn't have to defer to one.

Lesbian and slag were still terms used in school.

Just be happy with your choice and don't worry about it OP.

That said I find the idea that students at single sex schools don't interact with the opposite gender really odd. I went to a girls' school, which admittedly had a brother school attached to it, and I was always friends with boys, I had been since childhood.

Most all girls schools accept males now anyway, so not sure an all girls school would be any better tbh.

I find young people quite inspirational and much more tolerant nowadays. Mixed sex schools are fine as long as well led by the head and management teams.

When I was at school it wasn't like this's racism, sexism and other Ism's were rife in the 80's.

Dw & I don’t see this being an issue for our dd and any more dc we have. We want our future leaders to be able to engage with both halves of the population so co-ed is more likely unless the single sex school is stronger academically. We have a health social circle with role models

Of both genders and other dc to interact with so it’s not a problem either way.

Tortoise
Most all girls schools accept males now anyway
Utter drivel.

Most all girls schools accept males now anyway, so not sure an all girls school would be any better tbh.

It tends to be the other way round, in my experience - girls schools are still strictly single sex, more boys schools are moving to co-ed.

Do you mean girls schools accepting boys for sixth form? One of our VA girls schools does this but the community secondaries share a sixth form .

There are a lot of anecdotes on here, claiming pros and cons for both coed and single sex. I recognize some of the experiences in my own, others not so much (or at all).

Suspect it all depends on the individual child, parents, school and wider life outside of school. So right decision for others won't be right decision for you. Don't doubt yourself based on their views and experience, only you own. If DD happy then no problems.

It tends to be the other way round, in my experience - girls schools are still strictly single sex, more boys schools are moving to co-ed.

Nope, girls schools are accepting males 'who identify' as girls. As apparently not doing that is transphobic. No thought for the females who are wanting an all female space, nor the, for example, Muslim girls who cannot have males around them, or anything else.

Hmmm... I've not heard of that thus far, although some girls schools accept girls who identify as male/gender neutral...

Really Horny, do you have examples? Not disbelieving you, just interested. I would have thought this might happen locally to me but not heard, though would it make the press?

Apologies. Seems to be all female colleges rather than schools

www.vox.com/identities/2017/9/21/16315072/spelman-college-transgender-students-womens-colleges

Theres a list a little way down of which womens colleges accept males.

Also www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-cambridgeshire-41498173

Theres a huge push for schools to do this too - www.independent.co.uk/news/education/education-news/single-sex-schools-failing-legal-duties-accommodate-transgender-pupils-stonewall-women-equalities-a7674896.html - When the lobby starts kicking off, they tend to get their own way

I know of an all girls school where one of the pupils was a boy by the time they finished their A levels
but it was an unusual mix of an autumn born child
(turned 18 while still at school)

and a very bright kid who did not get expelled

Its right for 'transboys' or 'transmen' to be in an all female school. As they are female, regardless of what they 'identify' as.

I went to a girls school and loved it. It really helped in that we were in a very non-judgemental environment where we were few to say and do everything without teenaged boys jeering at yes (yes, even having tampons in full view!) We were never made to feel ashamed of our sex and our bodies and I loved that. But, for a few less feminine girls it was a difficult environment to be in. No one treated them different for it but there was definitely less of choice as regards to the kind of people you could be friends with which is the downside of excluding one sex. A really good alternative is co-ed schooling with single sex environments (e.g. Boarding houses, or segregated classes). That way you get the best of both.

For people saying "surely you see boys out of school" if you're single sex educated, I really didn't. I knew a few boys but only really had 1 male friend, I was an only child who didn't go out much, no close in age relatives and few male ones. I'd never gone goggle-eyed over boys but I didn't want to go off to uni after never having really been around men.
However, having been at a school entirely dedicated to what women could achieve, as described by @AllTheWhoresOfMalta, I took no crap from the boys when I met them and was outraged at any ideas that they were superior because they were male. For their part, the boys mostly teased us to start with to see what we'd do and within a few weeks, had mostly calmed down and become good friends with us and protective of us on nights out. They weren't perfect but they got better and we all benefited from mixed company.

I went to co-ed schools and unis all my life and was still massively shy around males until my 30s - didn't even matter that I had a brother! I think it depends on the individual. I don't think it's a school thing. It's more how much outside of school you socialise with the opposite sex.

My daughters all go to girls secondary. The facilities in the girls school, the after-school activities and the sports are all much better than in the mixed.

Our decision was taken each year with our daughter based on the needs and wishes of that daughter.

They're all in scouts and we encourage friends of both sex and socio-economic background. This is very important to us, as lots of DD1s friends come from reasonably well off backgrounds.

I think parents have to make the decision based on the needs of their child and should be prepared to change schools if it's not working out.

I went to a mixed school but, if I hadn't, I definitely wouldn't have seen boys outside of school. I don't have brothers and my hobbies were very girly - ballet, netball, sewing class!!! The only boys I knew were at school.

Went to a single sex RC school in Ireland. Absolutely hated every minute. Felt a million times more comfortable in my 90% men computer science degree classes at uni. A bit of soft discrimination going on too in terms of subjects etc - we were allowed to drop science for home economics after first year (age 13), we were never allowed to take three sciences to Leaving Cert level, far more encouragement for students who were good at art/music/languages etc and some really obnoxious things along the way relating to religion.

No child of mine will go to a single sex school if I can avoid it, I don't think gender segregation is healthy for young people. I'd also rather homeschool than send my boys to a Catholic school.

However, having been at a school entirely dedicated to what women could achieve, as described by @AllTheWhoresOfMalta, I took no crap from the boys when I met them and was outraged at any ideas that they were superior because they were male

+1 for me