I know IABU but...

[FuckMyUterus]

So... I'm in a group (totally unrelated to TTC) and there happens to be a lady in there who does fertility readings. She and I got chatting, I explained I am TTC and she pointed me over to her tarot page. She has pages and pages of reviews from people whose pregnancies she has correctly predicted, both conception months and due date months etc. She ran a competition for a free 10 card reading and I won. I have received my reading and am devastated. She has told me that I have some medical issues relating to fertility, and that the liklihood is that I will need medical intervention to conceive and that even then, I am unlikely to have a baby with my partner.
This has really, really upset me. Things she mentioned in the reading are so accurate in other aspects that it's ridiculous, so I am convinced that she's right about the whole lot.
I don't even know why I'm posting but I guess I just need a few virtual slaps and to be told to get a grip of myself

OP - for what it's worth, I don't believe in tarot cards etc, but when I was desperate to conceive (after losing a pregnancy at a late stage) I was willing to pay any money for something like this to tell me everything would be ok and next time I'd have a living baby. This was made worse by the fact that I'd visited a fortune telling place (for a bit of fun!) on holiday in Asia many years before, who told me I'd only ever have one child. I was terrified that she was right as all I wanted at that time was to have another baby.

I remember being completely torn by reasoned arguments and desperation that all would be ok.

So I completely understand how you've got to this place.

You are doing absolutely the right thing to go to your gp. There's lots of tests/help to conceive available - wishing you lots of luck.

This first thing I thought OP when I read your post was that you and her chatted and then you happened to "win a free reading " . Just no! Like others have said she is playing on your feelings, using insecurities she knows you have - and it's all a load of rubbish. Glad you have made that Gp appointment - that's the way forward. And good luck.

Oh god these people pray on vulnerable people like vultures hovering over a dying animal. Get medical advice from qualified professionals. Leave her manipulations in the bin where they belong.

I've name changed for this as it's not something I usually discuss.
My dad has dabbled in the "psychic" world and for a time did class himself as one. He believed I too had the "gift" and I have indeed predicted some real stuff, I've just "seen" it, clear as day.
HOWEVER- I've also gotten stuff way way off and if asked, for example, what is the gender of friends baby going to be I have no clue, it's a total guess. I'd also point out that the only reason we remember the stuff I got really right is because it happens so infrequently that it's memorable!

My dad did tell me that, in his experience, the only true "psychics" are those who know things at random. He never trusted those who arranged readings and the reason for this was a) the world is full of charlatans (and Derren Brown proved how easy cold reading was to do) and b)that it was so forced- you've paid to go see them so they really need to come up with something and it doesn't come freely. If they see nothing, they can't tell you that! Like with the things I "saw"- they came at random, if asked can I predict anything, nope (or I'd be a millionaire with the winning lottery numbers).

Also, re tarot cards. It is possible this woman genuinely believes what she has told you and isn't malicious but she may be reading way way off. Say we give her the benefit of the doubt and say there was some truth in it (I'm not saying that, just saying let's roll with it)- perhaps she did see medical intervention, but you are going to see a GP so perhaps she saw medical help and jumped to fertility treatment conclusion. As others have said 18m is a really good guess for how long ttc. You say you already have a child with someone else- perhaps she "saw" that child and got confused and then read that as not having a child with your partner. It's all her interpretation (or a crock of shit and she really is lying).
I'm not saying believe this woman, I'm really really not, I'm just saying even if your are inclined to believe this kind of stuff, take it with a pinch of salt and realise that she had to tell you something. Also re tarot- I believe if you saw someone else and had the exact same cards they could give you a different reading as it's down to the readers interpretation surely. You say she did get some things right- like knowing how long ttc, that was a guess and it's easy to then take that as proof of her abilities and therefore believe everything.

Please don't let what this woman has said upset you and please, please don't seek any further "predictions" or help from anyone other than a qualified doctor x

I'll get my cards out later on today and look at an alternative reading for you.

I'm assuming as there are 10 cards she did a Celtic Cross spread.

However, please believe me that no matter what I tell you, it will be conjecture without even the benefit of seeing what you look like or your reactions to anything I say.

And you could give the same cards to 20 Tarot readers and get 20 different readings (though they should follow the same general trend). But there is nothing in those cards which suggests any sort of tragedy or medical problem or great disappointment, as another tarot reader has also pointed out.

The Ace of Swords (depending on where it is in relation to other cards in the spread) may indicate difficulties with a project - but it can also warn you that you are being bull-shitted! (And that you need to cut through the bullshit to get to the truth.)

I will let you draw your own conclusions as to which it is most likely to be in this instance.

I'm just saying even if your are inclined to believe this kind of stuff, take it with a pinch of salt and realise that she had to tell you something

Batshit is right - nobody goes to be told:

I see you putting the bins out, feeding the cat and settling down to watch GBBO. You will be both surprised and disappointed at who gets eliminated, though not very.

You will find that no--one has emptied the dishwasher (again) and this will mildly annoy you.

You will mislay your car keys, but don't worry - they will be in the last place you look.

That'll be fifty quid. Ask the next person to come in on your way out, will you?

BTW - that was my alternative reading for you - please put the cash in a plain brown envelope and leave it behind the hot water pipes at the swimming baths.

Ta,

I went to a Palm reader once with a friend for a laugh. I was asked amongst other things if I had a partner (yes), would I like dc (yes).

She told me I would be pushing a pram the following year.

What she hadn't asked was if we were trying for dc because the time was not right for us and we were making full use of contraception. It's easy to get caught up in the moment but don't take it too seriously.

schaden you are a fraud... I don't watch great British bake off, it makes me too hungry and I am trying desperately to lose weight, I don't have a dishwasher, nor a car. So there. You're shit

Bugger!

Rumbled!

Seriously, thank you for all making me feel a million times better

So you ‘win’ a free a tarot reading, get bad news...

I bet if you went back to her there would be something she could do for for cash . Sounds like a ploy to suck you in.

I had trouble TTC and had my palm read by someone who told me I’d never have children. I have 2 DC now

Good luck with everything

Women seem to be the biggest mugs for this kind of thing. I was watching some videos on You Tube of a man who hands out leaflets outside venues where Sally Morgan is 'performing', warning people of what a con artist she is and nearly all her audiences are middle aged females. She's that determined to protect her own selfish financial interests that her heavies (her husband and nephew iirc) physically move this man on every time he appears.
From what I've seen she gets most her information about audience members from looking at their Facebook pages and through a badly concealed ear piece what she's been caught with a few times. Yet idiots still believe it and pay to go and watch her lie to their face - why?

Some people love to believe they are super speshal with their sooooper dooper powers.

If it's not tarot or tea leaves, that type of person will find another way of deluding themselves and others.

However they do it, they want that ego-boost and sense of self importance by sucking emotion out of others. It's sick.

Here's my run in with one of those people:

My sister died, a horrible and shocking death. A year later I got a fb message from one of her 'friends'.

She wrote that she'd only just found out that my sister had died, and how sad she was but not surprised at all, oh no, not her, because she'd had a vision. Apparently God had spoken to her and she felt very strongly that he'd chosen her to be a messenger to bring comfort to me and my parents (a messenger who cared so very much it had taken her a year to bother to do her god given part...).

And then proceeded to write a loaf of self satisfied crap that did more to upset me than anything else that had happened.

Self important deluded BITCH.

Apparently she'd joined us there, at the moment of my sister's death. We were in the hospital, surrounding her bed, all holding hands, whilst my sister slowly and peacefully closed her eyes and passed into the white light ...

Utter bollocks. It devastated me and I remember I broke down in tears at work because it had upset me so much.

I guess she was trading on the law of averages for her little intrusion into the life of a family mourning their daughter, sister, wife. And dressed it up as being sooooooper special because a god had chosen her to have a vision, showing what a good person she is and how much better and more important she is than anyone else. Ugh.

My sister died a horrible, painful death, alone and not all tucked up nicely in bed. Lying on the cold floor of a bathroom. My dad broke down the door and desperately performed cpr on her although it was clear she was already dead.

How dare that woman try to own that experience, take over our grief and thrust herself in between us and God. This person who couldn't be arsed to keep in contact with my sister when she was alive.

I wrote and rewrote replies to her, for months after. But I couldn't write back without my anger showing through. And she doesn't deserve to know what effect she had on me.

I would have loved to have seen her face if I told her how wrong her little story was and how horribly my sister had died. I imagined how she would try and pretend she was right somehow, and watch her react as I left no awful detail untold. I wanted her to doubt herself. For her to know how far from God she had become and that God had deserted her to her own vainglorious self-obsessed stories (yes I am mean).

But I couldn't send them as my sister wouldn't have wanted me to share such personal details, and also she wouldn't want me to write back in anger and hatred. All of which was very annoying to be honest, I had to not reply to her, even though I really wanted to grrrrrr!

Seriously, thank you for all making me feel a million times better

Glad you feel a little better - get that doctor's appt, try not to be too anxious and bear in mind that anyone offering magic solutions is probably talking bollocks.

What you might find useful if you end up having a hard path is treatments which help you relax and destress - a clinic I am under also sees some women with infertility problems for this kind of help. But if they make any claim to increase fertility or 'cure' rather than simply help relaxation and coping then run a mile!

No one would get one of those things unless they were ttc and anxious about it for some reason. Predicting ishoos is therefore likely to provoke feelings on your part that there is some legitimacy to what she's said. I've had readings that were accurate and some that were way off, often by the same people. I love a bit of woo but it's to be taken with a pinch of salt. Try to forget about it and if you do have concerns then discuss them with someone medically trained. Best of luck.

@FuckMyUterus I've got my fingers crossed for you. It's true what they say though, once you stop trying it'll happen. Did for me and two of my friends who had both being trying for two years and started going down different routes to have a baby. Good luck

I had my cards read when I was in my mid-20's. I was told the man I was with was 'the one' - he wasn't, he was a violent alcoholic thug. I was told I would have two children, first a daughter, who would be a big political figure, then a son, who would have health problems, but would eventually survive to adulthood.

I dumped the boyfriend, met and married my DH, had a son and then a daughter, neither of whom are big in politics or have/have had health problems.

It's all bollocks. Unless....if I stayed with the alcoholic thug?

Glad you are feeling better. I think it's been a combination of guesswork and Facebook stalking.
Hopefully the GP appointment will help. It can be a long road with long waits between appointments but good luck.
Friends and I went to see a tarot reader in pairs and she swore us to secrecy or the fortune wouldn't come true. Of course we all told each other and she only had 3 different fortunes for about 8 of us so no wonder she didn't want us to talk about it they were all the same!

My card were:
Current position: Moon
Second card was: 5 of pentacles
Third was: 5 of cups
Fourth was: 9 of cups
Fifth was: 7 of pentacles
6th: 7 of wands
7th: ace of swords
8th: 4 of pentacles
9th: knave of pentacles
10th: the hermit

Okay - everybody fed, dogs walked and Strictly watched, so here is an alternative reading of these cards

Firstly - lots of pentacles (4/10 cards). Pentacles refer to personal success achieved through effort.

Numbers - two 5’s (creativity and action), two 7’s (contemplation and delays), three 9’s (includes the Hermit and the Moon) - 9’s show that your goal is in sight and is achievable. Also two Major Arcana (Hermit and Moon, both of which are 9’s) and these are the first and the last cards of the reading which is interesting.

Card 1 - what is filling your thoughts at the moment - the Moon. This is a Major Arcana card - (these are important archetypes). The Moon is a feminine card and can relates to the things traditionally associated with female mysteries - including secrets, imagination, intuition, childbirth and gynaecological issues. (It can also warn of a deceitful woman !)

Card 2 - It is crossed (opposed) by 4 Pentacles. Coupled with your first card and knowing that you are trying to conceive I would interpret this as a loss of faith in your ability to have another child, and that this is making you very worried.

Card 3 - past influence - the 5 Cups - Cups represent relationships and even more, emotions. Your disappointment and worry about not becoming pregnant is stopping you from exploring other options (though you have said that there reasons why they may not be appropriate for you and your partner). Bear in mind that anxiety can actually prevent conception and although it is easy for me to say, and hard for you to do, it would be very helpful if you could relax and let go of the need you feel for another child.

Card 4 - the root of the matter - 9 Cups (lovely card ! I think this is the most joyful one in the pack) You feel that have a lot of love to give and that your relationship is loving and fulfilling. This has given you the confidence to try to bring another life into the world, which you also feel will add to your happiness.

Card 5 - past influences - 7 Pentacles. Sevens of any suit indicate a period where nothing seems to be happening, but Pentacles is a suit of achievement. You have been trying to conceive but nothing has happened yet. Don’t forget that in quiet times there is often a lot going on. In this pack (Robin Wood Tarot) the 7 Pentacles shows a gardener standing a rich and fertile field surrounded by vines. In nature, things may seem to be doing nothing but in fact that time is important - the quiet seed developing in the warmth of the soil, changing and growing long before the first shoot appears. You may be very saddened because things seem stagnant, but there are charges taking place - which may be in your body, or may be in your attitude or your partner’s attitude - which will lead to contentment.

Card 6 - what’s next - 7 Wands. Again, no immediate progress, and you are faced with circumstances which require determination. Your mental attitude is very important here. You need to maintain a positive attitude and not allow others to undermine you. Don't give up until you have exhausted every avenue.

Card 7 - your own attitude - Ace of Swords. Aces signify beginnings. Swords are usually interpreted to mean discord, but they are more likely to indicate your intellect and mental attitude. This is an incredibly powerful and positive card for change on every level. Many good things can come from this beginning, even if they are not the ones you would have chosen or might expect. It shows success in the face of difficult circumstances, and despite people who undermine and depress you and drain your enthusiasm. Your greatest enemy is other people’s comments. Your greatest strength is your own mental attitude. Take charge now - begin to take a positive attitude and cut through the rubbish that people pile on you that is destroying your confidence that things will work out for the best.

Card 8 - outside influences - 4 Pentacles. Fours are stability - but they can also indicate complacency or stagnation. Is there someone around you who is reluctant to invest (emotionally or financially) in what you want to achieve? Someone who would be quite happy to keep things as they are? If so, this is a warning be aware of their negativity. They are not necessarily bad people, but your ambition doesn’t mean quite as much to them as it does to you, and they may not want to put as much as you do into achieving it.

Card 9 - hopes and fears - Page of Pentacles. Pages usually represent children (of either sex), but can also be friends or relatives who bring support and stability into your life. This could be the child you already have - the Page of Pentacles is a gentle-natured child with a great interest in the world, and is an “easy” child to love and raise. However in view of what you have told us, the first and obvious meaning is the one I would go for. You hope for a child, but fear you may not have one.

Card 10 - likely outcome - The Hermit. the Hermit represents our inner self, our unconscious mind. (Again it is an important archetype - a searcher for truth and knowledge) Here I feel it indicates that you should let go of your worries and allow yourself to enter your own centre of calm - the place where all healing - physical, emotional and mental - takes place.

I find it particularly interesting that the spread starts and finishes with a Major Arcana card, and that each of these cards has the same numerical value - 9 - the number of success and completion. (The Hermit is Card 9, the Moon is card 18. In numerology numbers are reduced by addition to single digits, so 1 + 8 = 9) You also have the most joyful card in the pack (9 Cups), Nines are also considered magical as 9 is the last single digit - it signifies success and perfection in all things.

To me this reading is advising that you step away from any negativity, maintain a positive attitude and allow time and nature to take its course. There is a good chance, that your dreams will come true, but even if they don’t, your positive mental attitude will allow you to accept the things which can’t be changed, and you will be able to get joy from the child you already have. You have much in your life which is good, and whatever happens you will be able to build a happy and fulfilling life.

You will notice that I have pretty much covered all bases, made no promises and not told you what to do other than try to have a positive attitude. I could have done a lot more with you in front of me giving me unconscious signals that I would pick up and be able to expand upon. I hope, however that it is in general an optimistic reading. `i would also emphasise to anyone who comes for a reading that our fates are not indelibly written, and our own actions and attitudes can change the direction we are going in at any moment - the cards are showing a single moment in time and this can be altered if we are determined enough.

There was at least one other Tarot reader on this thread - it would be interesting if she could offer her interpretation as well

I hope you don't mind me posting this publicly rather then via PM (I did consider it), but there wasn't anything in the reading that you had not already told us, and certainly nothing very personal, so I thought it might be of interest to people to see how a reading can be constructed. I could go into a lot more detail with more time and your responses, but these are the "bones".

I'm glad you are feeling happier in yourself after reading people's responses. The reader you saw was dreadful!

WellThisIsShit - what a horrible experience for you. Some people just have to be pat of the drama, and have a starring role at that.

I can only imagine how distressing it must have been for you. I would have wanted to munch her.

I'm so sorry you lost your sister so tragically.

It's all bullshit. I had a stillborn baby in 2011. Shortly before she was born, my mum was approached by a woman selling white heather in a car park, who told Mum that she saw a baby in the family and that she saw Mum was worried but it would all be fine. First piece of bullshit!

The stillbirth was very well known in my place of work. DH and I both worked there, huge numbers of people knew about it, and a manager, X, was quite friendly with us both and knew a lot about it. Now, I knew X's partner was a psychic and that he absolutely believed in her powers, but we'd never met. Fast forward a few years until X's leaving do, when his partner was talking about being a psychic at the dinner table. I asked how it worked, and she said: "I see things. For example, I can see your baby and she's with you all the time. I can also see another baby, either yours or someone close to you." I was pretty shell shocked - I don't deny that I was wondering if she'd go there, with DD1, but I just thought it was a bit crass. I am 99% positive that X would have told her about DD1 when it happened, and possibly brought it up later when I went on to have DD2 and DS. And fwiw, that second baby hasn't materialised yet, 3 years on! (Unless it was a friend's baby, but I don't think that counts - the way she said it she meant a family baby). I suppose maybe she was trying to be nice, but actually it really upset me, and DH. We both had a lot of respect for X and for his partner to do that shook us.