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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worried about friend?

81 replies

benetint · 13/10/2017 23:33

My friend recently split up with her husband and they have young children. My friend has a new partner who seems really lovely - funny, charming, interesting, adoring of her and the kids ...I really like him. My friend is really happy and I really hope everything is ok. But DH has had some concerns about her new partner, mainly due to the ‘claims’ he’s made:

-He’s told us he’s a spy (MI5 I think or other ‘intelligence’) and has told us (and most other people in our friendship group) lots of detail on his recent mission abroad. Are spies allowed to give details?

-He’s solved one of those infamous maths puzzles recently and given his million pound prize to charity

  • my friend is selling her house as her new partner has put an offer in on a 3 million pound house
  • my friend has given her new partner a sum of money as he’s really good with investment and return
  • the new partner is still married and lives with his wife and child with special needs but they are separated ‘in their minds’ (staying living together for the child)

I feel so guilty saying all this out loud as I love my friend and I do like her new partner, do you think I’ve got any reason to be concerned? What would you do?

OP posts:
nevereverever83 · 13/10/2017 23:38

er, obviously yes. the man is a liar. reminds me of that old corrie storyline where deidre got conned.

RainbowsAndCrystals · 13/10/2017 23:39

Are you mad? Hmm

Appuskidu · 13/10/2017 23:41

He sounds like a con man. If he still lives with his family, why has your friend sold her house to live with him?

Venusflytwat · 13/10/2017 23:43

Well I think that all sounds perfectly feasible and lovely.

Come ON. 🙄

Scrumptiousbears · 13/10/2017 23:44

This sounds like a con man from Newcastle area. Id not only tell friend but the police need informing.

tiredbutFINE · 13/10/2017 23:47

Real spies don't tell you they are spies.

BlueSuffragette · 13/10/2017 23:51

Its all lies. She's a fool. Don't let her sell her house and hand the money to him 'when his cash flow hits a hiccup!' He'll run with her cash and never come back. She's gullible and needs to wake up to reality. Can your DH not have a word so the con man knows he's been sussed? Anymore fairy tales, try and get evidence to discredit him. Warn him with police involvement. Just try and get rid of him for her sake.

cestlavielife · 13/10/2017 23:53

Are you mad?
None of it sounds realistic

Tell your friend not to give any money to this person. Unless she sees a layer first to get something legal drawn up .

cestlavielife · 13/10/2017 23:53

Sees a lawyer.

Shakey15000 · 13/10/2017 23:56

It’s a load of old tosh.

Cactuar · 13/10/2017 23:56

My friend was involved with someone who was a conman - he seemed really lovely and charming when you met him - that's what made him a very successful conman!!

LanaKanesLeftNippleTassle · 14/10/2017 00:03

Google "Walter Mitty".

There are literally thousands of women taken in by this sort of bollocks.

It is one of the oldest tricks in the book..

UpnAbout · 14/10/2017 00:13

If it seems to good to be true. Your friend should be focused on her kids if she is mid split with their dad right now. Once they are moved on and secure she can go enjoy herself. Relationships This soon with mr all over her is not healthy can only go bad in a number of ways. Don't tell your friend that her new man is great

AfunaMbatata · 14/10/2017 00:15

Grin just tell him to stop bullshitting

cochineal7 · 14/10/2017 00:17

...and he has a very large sum in a bank account in X-country that he can only get to if she transfers him £100,000 first as an admin fee. But then it is hers.

Every single one of your five concerns is similarly unbelievable. I actually hope you made this up.

UpnAbout · 14/10/2017 00:21

Agree it's daft

Mammyloveswine · 14/10/2017 08:15

Wtf??? This can't be real surely??

What an absolute crock of shit! Tell your friend to wake up and give her head a shake!

onalongsabbatical · 14/10/2017 08:19

In the unlikely event that this is real, and you haven't made it up because you're fishing for a mumsnet response, I wouldn't even bother trying to talk sense into your friend, I'd be reporting the conman straight to the police.

Allthelightsgoout · 14/10/2017 08:20

Of course there are reasons to be concerned! You don't believe him do you?

SenoritaViva · 14/10/2017 08:21

Total con. Alarm bells for any one of those. All together a confirmation of a crock of shit.

Ceto · 14/10/2017 08:31

Ask him what the maths puzzle was and who organised it and put up the money. If he genuinely did win, it will be easy enough to check - these things are not kept secret, there's no reason for it. Obviously he won't give the name, which tells you all you need to know.

I agree with contacting the police. There is every likelihood that your friend is not the first victim.

Allthelightsgoout · 14/10/2017 08:35

It never fails to surprise me just how thick some people can be when their head has been turned by a new man/woman.

SparklyMagpie · 14/10/2017 08:38

Oh come on OP, fuck sake

pasturesgreen · 14/10/2017 08:50

Do you even need to ask?!

Your friend should be running for the hills, certainly not selling her house or giving money to this con artist her new man.

ShowMePotatoSalad · 14/10/2017 08:52

It’s like something out of Take a Break.

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