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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Worried about friend?

81 replies

benetint · 13/10/2017 23:33

My friend recently split up with her husband and they have young children. My friend has a new partner who seems really lovely - funny, charming, interesting, adoring of her and the kids ...I really like him. My friend is really happy and I really hope everything is ok. But DH has had some concerns about her new partner, mainly due to the ‘claims’ he’s made:

-He’s told us he’s a spy (MI5 I think or other ‘intelligence’) and has told us (and most other people in our friendship group) lots of detail on his recent mission abroad. Are spies allowed to give details?

-He’s solved one of those infamous maths puzzles recently and given his million pound prize to charity

  • my friend is selling her house as her new partner has put an offer in on a 3 million pound house
  • my friend has given her new partner a sum of money as he’s really good with investment and return
  • the new partner is still married and lives with his wife and child with special needs but they are separated ‘in their minds’ (staying living together for the child)

I feel so guilty saying all this out loud as I love my friend and I do like her new partner, do you think I’ve got any reason to be concerned? What would you do?

OP posts:
Standingcat · 14/10/2017 08:55

Google salary of MI5 intelligence agent then ask her how she thinks that he has so much money?

I can’t believe it took your DH to raise the doubt in your mind, he seems like a complete work of fiction.

XiCi · 14/10/2017 08:58

Your DH has some concerns? You didn't stop to think yourself what an absolute crock of shit he's spouting? I'm astounded

HipToBeSquare · 14/10/2017 09:01

If this is truly what he's said and done HUGE bells should be ringing!

You need to speak with your friend. She's vulnerable and this arsehole is trying to take advantage of her.

Standingcat · 14/10/2017 09:06

www.google.co.uk/amp/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4895384/amp/Conman-told-lover-fleeced-MI5-jailed.html

Is this him?

Sorry it’s a Daily Fail link

usernameavailable · 14/10/2017 09:10

You need to tell your friend to get rid! To not give him another penny and id inform police! He is a conman

LolaTheDarkdestroyer · 14/10/2017 09:14

If this is true then I’m shocked that anyone can be so stupid. And the fact he is still married etc should have jag her running for the hills.
You need to tell your friend she is being had and now before she sells her house.

Ceto · 14/10/2017 09:20

It's unlikely to be him, Standingcat, given that he's in prison. But he may have given OP's friends partner a few ideas.

Chocolatteandbiscuits · 14/10/2017 09:23

Please don't tell me you've believed any of this? Hmm

TJ2503 · 14/10/2017 09:25

Is this for real?!

WhoWants2Know · 14/10/2017 09:26

It would be almost funny if she hadn't already given him money

caringdenise009 · 14/10/2017 09:27

Google Robert Freeguard. I always wondered what happened to him.

MsWanaBanana · 14/10/2017 09:28

This is a joke right? No one in their right mind would believe any of this would they???

IJustLostTheGame · 14/10/2017 09:28

Spies don't say they work for MI5, they say they work in the foreign office as civil servants.
And they don't breathe a word of what they really do.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 14/10/2017 09:34

And a man who is prone to these overblown lies claims would never pass the psych tests for 5 or 6 anyway, believe me...

bigfatbumfreak · 14/10/2017 09:35

They do believe it, everyday. But your mate prob wont listen I’ve seen this before.

pictish · 14/10/2017 09:40

I am laughing at this but only because it's so preposterous! Your friend mustn't be the sharpest tool in the box to fall for such utter nonsense. Poor woman.

pictish · 14/10/2017 09:49

Is she really selling her house on the strength of his outrageous and blatant lies? Yeah...tell her not to. Emphatically.

TroelsLovesSquinkies · 14/10/2017 09:53

There was a photo of some guy doing this on my facebook news feed the other week. Have a look around and see if he's that man too.

ijustwannadance · 14/10/2017 09:55

If this is true your friend must be a desperate idiot.
If she sells her home he will take every penny.
Tell her asap.

cornerstoned · 14/10/2017 09:57

OP, you layed it on way too think. but nice try. Wink

Haggishappens · 14/10/2017 09:59

I knew a lovely lady through work once who started an online relationship with a man she believed was based in Sweden. She used all her annual leave to go and visit him over there and got in trouble a few times for talking to him online all day whilst at work. Then she started telling us about him...

He'd told her he was an undercover police officer investigating a Swedish assassin 'school' where they train sleeper agents Hmm he also told her at other times that he was in mortal danger and needed her to do various random things like post an empty envolope to a certain address on a certain day etc etc. She even went down to London one day to meet someone in Hyde park to collect a package for him and keep it safe etc etc.

Anyway, this bloke turned out to be a postman who lived a completely normal life in Bury. He'd been flying over to Sweden himself just to meet up with her, and the woman she met in London was someone else he'd fed this bullshit to!

In the end, it turned out he had 3 women on the hook, all of whom he'd invite to Sweden one after the other while he was over there, then he'd fly home again back to his flat in bury Confused

He never asked for money or anything, he was just living out a total fantasy.

kateandme · 14/10/2017 10:06

part of reason mi5 have such a hard time is because they are given a whole new fake identity so that there real job NEVER comes to light.it would make them their family and the job wholy unsafe.
new name new address and background is well trained and ingrained into them/and they would never tell.
this sounds like I'm going to make the effort to post and later someone is going to say it is all a joke and once again ill be peed off.

pictish · 14/10/2017 10:07

Gosh Haggis - what a nut!

It's like those guys you get that like to pretend they're in the SAS and stuff. That's a common live-out-my-fantasy theme isn't it? They pretend they're going abroad for 'work' and so on but actually live at home with their mum or wife and work in Currys or some shit.

Woollycardi · 14/10/2017 10:56

Wow Haggis! That is bonkers!!

Lagerthaisfabulous · 14/10/2017 11:06

And no one noticed this except your dh?

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