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AIBU?

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Original poster

Teacher 'donated' Dds money!

435 replies

WoWoWorrier · 13/10/2017 13:55

My daughter has a knack for 'finding pennies'. She is 8. She collects the 5ps/10ps she finds for sweeties and the 1ps and 2ps go in a piggy bank until it's full. She find a them outside on the floor.

On the way to school yesterday she was saying that she wanted a mini figit spinner from the machine outside our local newsagents.
She had been super good this week and I was already planning on giving her £2 as a reward but she said 'I might find a pound!' So to humour her 'abilities' I dropped a pound a few minutes later and she spotted it.

She was super excited.

When I picked her up from school she was quiet and when we got near the ship I asked her if she wanted to get her toy she told me she had been telling her friend she had found a pound on the way to school and the teacher said it wasn't hers to spend and told her to put it in the classroom charity collection box!!

Aibu to demand it back and be quite pissed off?

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 13/10/2017 15:11

Just go in an explain to the teacher what happened and get the pound back.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 13/10/2017 15:14

Did the teacher assume she’d found the coin on school property? If she thought this she could hardly have condoned your dd putting it in her bag.

paxillin · 13/10/2017 15:15

I agree with the teacher.

Just because you find something, it isn't automatically yours.

But this isn't what happened. The teacher did not have the full information and acted on the hearsay of a third party (and a small child third party to top it). She stole money that belonged OP's DD because it belonged to OP and she gave it to her DD.

CorbynsBumFlannel · 13/10/2017 15:15

TBH I would just write the pound off and make sure dad leaves her pennies with you in future. Not sure why she would be taking it into school to lose anyway if it wasn’t for food etc while she’s there?
Technically found money isn’t yours to keep (though I would keep a pound myself) and if you tell the teacher you dropped the money for your dd to find its just going to sound like a tall tale to get your pound back - even though it’s true.

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar · 13/10/2017 15:17

But she didn’t know it belonged to op’s dd; the child said she just picked it up off the ground. The teacher was no more stealing it than op’s dd.

user789653241 · 13/10/2017 15:23

"She stole money that belonged OP's DD"

No she didn't. Teacher didn't know the background and believed she picked it up from the ground.
I think the teacher gave her the great lesson, rather than what OP is trying to teach, that "finders = keepers"

Nocabbageinmyeye · 13/10/2017 15:23

Teacher is an absolute twat, I'd speak to her, not because of the pounf as such but she sounds a holier than thou gobshite who could do with being told to cop on. It wasn't on school property, it was none of her business, if it had been on school property it should have gone to the office and if not claimed then given back to your dd. Making a child put it into the charity box - oh do fuck off love

becotide · 13/10/2017 15:26

I'm a bit concerned, actually, that your child has a knack for "finding" money.

if it's not your money, then it is someone else's and you "finding" it is theft.

"Finding" money is cute in toddlers but your child is 8, and is old enough to understand that there is such a thing as theft by finding and keeping.

Really, this is your own fault for encouraging her to keep money she finds rather than either handing it in or donating it. You've taught her that if she can pick it up and nobody is there to stop her, it's hers. Sounds like the teacher is just trying to undo the damage you've done.

DaisysStew · 13/10/2017 15:27

But it didn't happen in school, so the teacher had no right to take it. Even if it did happen in school, how is the teacher taking it and putting it in the charity box any better than the OPs daughter keeping it? It wasn't the teachers to donate and if it had been lost the owner of the money would still be without it.

Ask for it back OP and explain that if your daughter has something confiscated again they are to discuss it with you before deciding off their own back to "donate" the item.

GracielaSabrocita · 13/10/2017 15:27

Whether the pound was a plant or a real find is irrelevant - the teacher was being sanctimonious and absurd, and had no right to take the money from the child. I think the OP should ask for it back, without mentioning that the money was not a genuine find.

JemimaLovesHamble · 13/10/2017 15:30

The teacher probably assumed your DD found it on the playground and that it was someone's lost lunch money.

Might be a good time to segue her out of "finders keepers" now though. I know a few pennies are neither here nor there, but it is all lost money not gifts and maybe shouldn't be earmarked for treats?

MaggieFS · 13/10/2017 15:34

(Sorry I haven’t read all of RTFT) but if it was off school property then it was nothing to do with the teacher, especially if DD hadn’t taken it out of her bag.

BUT, OP, I hope you are also teaching DD it doesn’t come from thin air and she should only keep small amounts after looking around for an owner. Up to whatever level you feel comfortable with.

Personally I’d put everything in a charity pot, but appreciate it’s a personal choice if you find it and the owner isn’t apparent.

Ta1kinPeece · 13/10/2017 15:36

See a penny, pick it up
Have a day's good luck

If I am walking down the road and see a coin on the pavement, I pick it up.
Its mine thank you very much.

Squarerouteofsquirrel · 13/10/2017 15:37

lewis i’m not overly virtuous but if I find coins I will put them in a charity box and I have handed in larger sums to the police, because the money is not mine, i’m assuming i’m not alone in that attitude. Even if it just me and the teacher in the op.
wowo
I suppose it’s fairly harmless finding and saving small change in the way your daughter is, but I feel you are encouraging a strange attitude to money. You’re teaching her that she doesn’t have to her earn money, but rather hope she might find some, which is not a very empowering message to take in to adulthood.

ArcheryAnnie · 13/10/2017 15:38

Theft by finding is still theft by finding even if the money is put in a charity pot

Genuine question, @NeedsAsockamnesty - what do you do when you find a coin on the street?

paxillin · 13/10/2017 15:38

But the teacher "assuming" or "thinking" it was found on school ground does not make it ok. She did not check. She took what a random girl said about another girl's money for gospel. She then forced this girl to part with her property without checking her facts.

If random girl had said OP's DD wears a cardigan that's not hers, would she have wrestled it off her and donated it to the school fete raffle?

becotide · 13/10/2017 15:39

Annie, I know it's not me you were asking, but I don't pick up coins in the street and I don't let my kids do so either. Not yours = don't touch it.

paxillin · 13/10/2017 15:40

Teacher didn't know the background and believed she picked it up from the ground. But she didn't bloody check! She assumed 3rd girl tells the truth!

Xmasbaby11 · 13/10/2017 15:42

It's a weird habit to encourage, looking for dropped money.

I would leave it now and let this habit drop.

Ta1kinPeece · 13/10/2017 15:42

becotide
but I don't pick up coins in the street and I don't let my kids do so either. Not yours = don't touch it.
Whose is it then ?

When I was helping my homeless friend I gave every coin I found to him
including the £2 we found on the way to his court hearing - it doubled the amount of money he owned

The £50 I found in the gutter once I also kept as there was no way in the world of tracing the rightful owner

Witchend · 13/10/2017 15:46

She assumed 3rd girl tells the truth! No she assumed the Op's dd was telling the truth as no doubt she said she found it as the OP hadn't told her it had been planted.

musicform · 13/10/2017 15:47

What if it had been a £20 note or someones purse - it is the same principle. it shouldn't go straight into a charity box and you need to teach your child that whatever she 'finds' isn't automatically hers

OrangeJulius · 13/10/2017 15:47

I am totally baffled at the idea that change on the ground should be "turned in." To whom? The owner is never going to know where to claim it, should they even notice it's missing.

I also think it's easy to differentiate between finding small change on the ground, and finding a wallet or large sum of money where there is a reasonable chance of finding the owner.

I myself will collect change I find on the ground - there is a good amount of it as most people do not bother to pick up 5p or 10p. I add it to the change jar and it adds up over the year.

I think the teacher was unreasonable, and would definitely be asking for the £1 back.

paxillin · 13/10/2017 15:51

OP's DD will today have learned that a) she can't trust her friend, she will run to the teacher and b) the teacher gets to take her stuff, so she must hide it from her.

OnlyGodKnowsWhy · 13/10/2017 15:53

I am with the teacher on this. For a while my son was ‘finding’ money in class or at home. It turned out he was actually just taking money wherever he could find it, so from me, from kids in class that dropped it or left it for a moment. He was stealing basically. As soon as it was found it we nipped it in the bud, he was primary 2. Now I always tell the children that any money found must be handed in. I’m fairly sure my son at that age didn’t really realise what he was doing but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s not a huge leap from finding money to taking money.

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